Will she love me again - 03/30/09 05:23 PM
Married 11 years (2 kids)
Pretty much neglected her needs the entire time; not supportive; critical of her interests
I believe she fell out of love w/me a long while back
She eventually had an affair w/married man (4 months)
Told me she wanted divorce in January. D-day was in Feb which she ended her affair soon after; no contact for the past 3 weeks or so.
I've changed a lot of things which she has noticed.
Said she wanted to work on our friendship, but still saw divorce as the eventual outcome
I've seen some fog lift this past week after the OM divulged some pretty intimate stuff about her to lots of people which made her upset
Now she says she doesn't really want a divorce- but that she wants us to spend more time together and work on our relationship and that our marriage can probably work.
However, she says she isn't in love with me, probably never will be, and that we'll never have a physical relationship again. I can see some truth to this as I was not a very supportive husband before and see how she probably fell out of love with me a long time ago.
I've read the books and the articles on this site and am familiar with the Love Bank. I really hope by spending more time with her will allow me the opportunity to deposit love units. Unfortunately, its hard for me to believe that it actually works that way with romantic love.
Any ideas/thoughts from those who've been through this?
Also, how can I meet the emotional need for affection if all I'm able to do is give short, quick hugs?
Thanks for the advice.
Pretty much neglected her needs the entire time; not supportive; critical of her interests
I believe she fell out of love w/me a long while back
She eventually had an affair w/married man (4 months)
Told me she wanted divorce in January. D-day was in Feb which she ended her affair soon after; no contact for the past 3 weeks or so.
I've changed a lot of things which she has noticed.
Said she wanted to work on our friendship, but still saw divorce as the eventual outcome
I've seen some fog lift this past week after the OM divulged some pretty intimate stuff about her to lots of people which made her upset
Now she says she doesn't really want a divorce- but that she wants us to spend more time together and work on our relationship and that our marriage can probably work.
However, she says she isn't in love with me, probably never will be, and that we'll never have a physical relationship again. I can see some truth to this as I was not a very supportive husband before and see how she probably fell out of love with me a long time ago.
I've read the books and the articles on this site and am familiar with the Love Bank. I really hope by spending more time with her will allow me the opportunity to deposit love units. Unfortunately, its hard for me to believe that it actually works that way with romantic love.
Any ideas/thoughts from those who've been through this?
Also, how can I meet the emotional need for affection if all I'm able to do is give short, quick hugs?
Thanks for the advice.