EN survey for us MB posters - Marriage Builders® Forums

Reading Airheart's EN:Recreational Compansionship thread got me wondering. I thought it would be interesting to see people's top 5. Mine tend to vary and change places a little bit over time. I suspect this is true with others too. So there's nothing carved in stone here. Mostly a curiousity thing, but I hope to gain some insight into my W's list by seeing what some of the other ladies have on theirs. (This may be getting a little too personal, but I sure don't feel like I have much left to hide anymore [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

, and besides, it might be fun!)To save space and make for easy reading I suggest the following format:Your gender, Your situation#1, #2, #3, #4, #5 (use bold to indicate a need currently being met)I'll get it started.... ====================================== Male, BetrayedSexual Fulfillment, Affection, Honesty/Openness, Family Commitment, Domestic Support [This message has been edited by 2sad4words (edited March 15, 2000).]

Ok, here goes....Female, betrayed, now divorced.1. Honesty 2. Affection 3. Domestic support (hey, I own my own business, work 50 hrs or more a week!!!) 4. Family commitment 5. Recreational Companionship------------------ Susan

Here's mine...Female, betrayed, in recovery.1. Honesty 2. Affection 3. Conversation/Communication 4. Sexual Fulfillment 5. Recreational CompanionshipI've never "bolded" before and I can't get it to work, however ALL FIVE ARE BOLDED!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I figured it out!!! Whoo-hoo! Actually, with lots o' help from Big Jim, and trying2_4give! Thanks guys! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

And, all of H's are being met as well. He found out after dday that our ENs were pretty much all the same! Only he had Affection and Conversation as his top 2! Go figure!Thanks for starting the thread! Should get interesting! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

--purplemag[This message has been edited by purplemag (edited March 16, 2000).]

allison female, ?betrayed, married1) affection 2) conversation 3) honesty openness 4) admiration 5) financial supportcan I have one more..please please please 6) sexual fulfillment (I know, should be higher, but the financial support thing seems pretty important too)allison

Hi, here's mine:female, betrayed, separated1. Honesty and openness 2. Conversation 3. Affection 4. Domestic Support 5. Family Commitment------------------ Blessed be. **************** KeridwenKeridwen_7@yahoo.com

female, emotional betrayer1. Honesty 2. Conversation 3. Recreational companionship 4. Sexual fulfillment/Affection (this is a tie) 5. Domestic Support (I work a lot too)I wish I could half-bold. #1, #4, and #5 are partially met. (#5 more than the others)

OK, So, what if my computer doesn't have the ability to do BOLD?? Well, currently most of my needs are being met very well so just think of these all in bold, ok?1. Honesty 2. Love/affection/making love 3. Respect 4. Communication 5. Honest effort to understand me!Anyhow, things are good even if I can't do a bold! ------------------ Chick's BrenYou won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

OK here goes:female, betrayed 1.Honesty 2.Affection 3.Conversation 4.Sexual Fulfillment 5.Domestic Support

OK. Female, betrayed (EA), in recovery1) affection 2) honesty & openess 3) family commitment 4) sexual fulfillment 5) conversation Those that are not bolded are being partially met.

Ok, I can't bold either so all make starsfemale, betrayed, (odd EA) in recovery* 1. Honesty * 2. Affection 3. Sexual fulfillment * 4. Conversation 5. AdmirationAll needs are being met to some degree, where there is no star there is room for improvement.

female, betrayed, separated 1. Honesty and openness 2. Family Commitment 3. Affection 4. Admiration 5. Domestic Support

female, betrayed, married, H still at home1. Honesty 2. conversation 3. sexual fulfillment 4. recreational companionship 5. affectionI know this thing will do bold, but I can't figure it out. Oh, well...#1 is almost bold, the rest are bold. ------------------ CatI wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

Female, betrayed (EA), H still in denial 1) honesty & openness (I don't believe anything he says anymore {and his says very little}) [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

2) conversation (never, he sees no need for this) [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

3) affection (sometimes a hug, once a month) [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

4) family commitment (none, his life is his job) [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

5) financial support (the only need he fills) [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I would # each of them 1. All 5 are equally important to me.Keo [This message has been edited by Keosha (edited March 15, 2000).]

Male Betrayed by W with EA with her "best friend's" H Still living with W and family, but considering separating -- tension mounting! Have abandoned Plan A since it seems pointless VERY UNHAPPY 1. HONESTY AND OPENNESS 2. AFFECTION 3. COMMUNICATION/CONVERSATION 4. SEXUAL FULFILLMENT 5. RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIPRight now, only #5 (Recreational) is being met, and only through our kids commitments. Aside from that, nothing is being met.Note: My w refuses to fill out an EN questionaire, so it's impossible for me to get any accurate measure as to my progress or failures. I bet I can guess, but it would be nice to know if my gut is accurate.--keystone

Female, Betrayed/betrayer(EA), Divorced1. Honesty 2. Conversation 3. Recreational Companionship 4. Domestic support 5. Financial supportNone are bold. He can't even manage to get the check in the bank on time.------------------ There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. -- John Oliver HolmesThe opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. -- Elie Wiesel

Hi friends!Female, betrayed, seperated, divorce in process<OL TYPE=1> <LI> honesty, openness AND faithfullness <LI> sexual fulfillment [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

<LI> family commitment <LI> admiration AND affection <LI> financial and domestic support (I believe this should be a 50/50 on both)</OL>OK I believe that some of those can be lumped in, if you are honest and open, then you obviously have conversation, so those would fall together. If someone truly admires you, they are affectionate with you. As far as the financial/domestic, I own my own business and work 55 hours a week too. I contributed my fair share of financial and did all domestic on my own. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

It is fair to say that the needs of mine being met are NOT by my H. And the faithfullness, well as far as I know, thats true, but I don't know that I would ever trust that again. (sorry guys)OK so I cheated and lumped them together, call me needy! I just feel some of those tie in together. I have more than 5 top needs. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Good idea! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

PS First time bolding and smiling, hope it works, now I know how much effort Jim puts into his replies! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

[This message has been edited by lonelymom (edited March 16, 2000).][This message has been edited by lonelymom (edited March 16, 2000).]

Male, Betrayed, Long-distance Plan A(for 5+ months) with a very angry, nasty, vindictive W #1. Family Commitment #2. Honesty and Openness #3. Affection #4. Sexual Fulfillment #5. Domestic SupportYes... I know how to bold...there are no needs being met... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Jim

Female, betrayed (before marraige) in counseling. Don't know how to bold! 1.Honesty/Openess 2.CONVERSATION 3.AFFECTION 4.FAMILY COMMITMENT/DOMESTIC SUPPORT 5.SEXUAL FULFILLMENT CAPS are all being met, don't know if honesty/openess is being met yet, since i haven't found/heard anything yet. So keeping my fingers crossed.

male, betrayed, married but sleeping in separate rooms, she's not wearing wedding ring1. honesty, openness 2. affection 3. family commitment 4. conversation 5. sexual fulfillment ------------------ God Bless, Rob regilmor@swbell.net [This message has been edited by professorg (edited March 16, 2000).]

female, betrayed, seperated, in process of divorce 1. Honesty 2. Affection 3. Family Committment 4. Conversation 5. Sexual Fulfillment My H is currently meeting none of the above!Tulip