Hey Gang,<P>Well Val just left. We spent 3 hours together talking about everything from her classes to divorce. Absolutely no LB's from either of us. I new world's record!<P>The good news is that she doesn't want a D. She said she would always consider me her H. I told her I didn't want to be considered her H, I wanted to BE HER H. She said she was too many bad memories to come back right now. [key words: right now] I suggested that we try dating to replace some of the bad with good/great times. <P>She is agreeable to that and suggested we do something every Friday afternoon. She kept saying she had to leave to go to her sisters to go shopping, but, that was for the last hour and a half. I couldn't get rid of her!<P>We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more and cried some more. Many I Love You's with much sincerity from her. I said some too, but didn't really mean it. RIGHT. I feel much has been accomplished in those three short hours.<P>Thanks to all who have sent prayers, good vibes and best wishes.<P>I guess Blutto is right. Say it fat man!<P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Tim and Val<BR>sitting in a tree<BR>k-i-s-s-i-n-g<BR>first comes love<BR> <P>aaaawwwwwwww.....you know the rest.....<P>giggle, giggle..... <P><BR>glad to hear you had a great afternoon...now you can have that ice cream next friday!!!!!<P><BR>((((((((((((ZIPPY)))))))))))))<P><BR>Dylan

Woohoo!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>She said she was too many bad memories to come back right now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Did she elaborate? Bad memories with you or of herself or the last few months?<BR>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A><p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited April 14, 2000).]

YEAH!!!<P>Dating sounds like a great start...<P>Have fun!<P>Kathi

WOW!!!!!! This is wonderful. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy for you.<P>I hope to say the same thing for me someday, but today I feel EMPTY. I can only feel sorry for myself!!!!<P><BR>But I am happy for you.

<B>Medic</B><P>I had to expose myself as the lurker I am for this one. <P>I am so happy for you and Praising the Good Lord for answering all our prayers the way we all hoped he would. <B>Our God is truly and awesome God!</B> <P>Thanks for sharing and making my weekend. <P>Wow oh wow I am really flying high with this one. <P>Hip Hip Hurray!!!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't lose! What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 14, 2000).]

YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!<P>Way to go Medic!!!! You get an ATTABOY!!!!!!!<P>I'm with Chris.....anything she say give you a clue as to what more you can work with to add to filling her lovebank?<P>I am SOOOOOO HAPPY for you....DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba<P>PS - So, where you going Friday afternoon for your first date?

PTL <P>Ok buddy now like Lostva say take it slow.<P>You and Val can take me to linch next month.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

One baby step leads to another and before you know it you will be off and running. However, take a word of advice from the expert no pushing (I am the expert pusher)<P>I know how hard it is not to keep pushing because we want this nightmare to end so when they start to show that they are interested well you know the rest. I am trying very hard not to push, just enjoy your time together, no questions just have fun. (I will try to follow my own advice) <BR>I think it is great news.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Tim<P> I'm sooo happy for you!! :<P>My prayers for you and Val will continue. Like everyone else has said...Take it slow and PRAISE GOD for the babysteps. I swear that was one huge step!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

hey!!!!<P>no fair......<P>Tim, if you and Val take Bill to 'linch', I wanna go too!!!!<P>is linch far from Quebec?<P>do I need to pack a lunch?<P><BR>Dylan

Yes...<P>It's the dreaded Jim...<P>...but I'm with everyone here ths time...<P>...if you are ready to move back to <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>!<P>There is no crime to move back to <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>... no retribution... no slaps on the hand...<P>If it's good for you...<BR>...that's all that counts!!! <P>Honest... <P>Just understand for yourself the impact of OM if he is still in the picture...<P>You are a very intelligent man...<BR>...as well as being very respectable... <P>I honor your judgement above everyone elses...<BR>...especially mine...<P>And... <B>I BELIEVE IN YOU</B>!!! Friend!<P> <P>Jim

<BR>YOWZER, WOWZER!!!!!!<P>This is MOST wonderful news.<P>Now, I know you already know this, but....<BR>Please, take things slow. Remember, you are dating her, that's all right now.<P>Plan A her, show her the great self improvements you have made, respect her, and most of all, love her.<P>Tim, I am so happy for you. This is God's miracle. Trust in Him to give you the patience you need.<P>Never say never........<P>God Bless,<P>Cheryl

Hey Guys,<P>Today has just been incredible for me! Major breakthrough.<P>Yo Dylan,<P>I just had a sampling of kissing today. The ice cream would be a great idea for me to replace the bad with the good. Ice cream trips were always good memories even if the ankle biter Squiggy comes along. <P>Forget the line about the baby carriage though. Her heart problems.<P>Hi Chris,<P>The bad memories were from me. Sadly I admit. I turned into such an [censored] and treated her badly. It was the ugly alcoholic side of me. I drank to get away from the problems. I didn't know what I had until it [she] was gone.<P>Hello Kathi,<P>I know she is afraid that it will go back the way it was. I tried to tell her that we were both miserable the way it was and would not even suggest reconsiliation unless there was a definate change made. I asked her to give me a test drive and move in for a week to see the change. She said she would NOT just move in for a week. Dead give away, she really wants to come back for good to a guaranted new improved Tim. I suggested dating and she agreed.<P>TT, <P>Sorry to hear you are down. I was there many times myself. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Not all times it is a train coming your way. Hope you feel better tomorrow.<P>Ah Sam,<P>What can I say? Looks like you were right. Doing anything July 22, 2000? I'm taking it slow but would really like to renew our wedding vows. [not you and me, Val]<P>Sheba,<P>Thanks for the attaboy. This time I really deserve it. Is this a naked happy dance like Lori does? The puppy would be so proud. Oh, wait, he was char-broiled.<P>I think it will be the ice cream deal first. I told her there is so much I want to do and share with her. I will get that chance.<P>Bill,<P>Taking it real slow. Can you believe it? Three hours, straight talk, shooting from the hip, no BS with no LB's from either of us. I made a connection with my "Bunches" today. One I should have made a long time ago. It's not too late for us. Not too late for anyone.<P>Pal, if it's not too far we'll take ya to linch next month. Is that near Pittsburgh? [sorry, smart a$$ coming out in me] I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight. Very hyper.<P>Hey Di,<P>Yep, backing off and taking it slow. I didn't ask her what she was doing this weekend. Don't want to force myself on her. I couldn't believe it, I said the right things at the right times. ME! Imagine that. <P>Jamie-Lee,<P>Thanks for your continued prayers. Everything just fell into place. I had a good feeling going into this and prayed and meditated before I met her. I asked that I would be able to say the right thing at the right time. <P>Dylan,<P>I believe that linch is in the western part of Pennsy. You better pack a few lunches. It may take us a while. We'll have to take Val's car. I don't think 4 adults can fit in my Z.<P>Jim,<P>The only way I would perceive you as the dreaded Jim is if you were bringing me the final D papers.<P>I think it is time to go back to big time Plan A. The stage is set. <P>She asked me if there was anyone I wanted to see or date. I told her yes. She asked if the person was a nurse. [Medic thing, like women in white] I replied No. She continued, "Well what does she do?" I said She is a dental assistant. [Val's position]<P>We talked matter of factly about Brian and I believe that I over estimated his importance in the past. It's either that or she is coming out of Fantasyland. She believed that I was seeing someone because I am a man and need sexual release. No, with the depression I don't even think of it. I replied that I knew she slept with Brian because she is in her prime. [29] She denied same and I really believe her this time. There is no need to lie anymore. Said they only go out to dinner, movies, stuff like that. <P>I was very happy that she really doesn't want a D. The added bonus was agreeing to date her H.<P>When she was getting ready to leave her body language was screaming for a hug. I waited and held my arms out. [skinny as they are] She held on so tight! She is still so soft and cuddly. Still my Valerie.<P><BR>Friends, I want thank you one and all for being there for me in crunch time. I would certainly not have made it this far without each and everyone of you. I hope you rejoice with me in this moment because you made it happened with all your care, concern, prayers and best wishes sent to me. <P><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Cee Cee,<P>Didn't mean to leave you out. I was writing a novel. So much to say.<P>Slow and steady wins the race.<P>I met her at Pizza Hut. We had very little to eat. Both of us very nervous.<P>She started with her standard "It's been a year" [seperated] I replied "No, it's been 13 months and I have grown so much and have found so much love for you that was buried." She started to cry. "Please don't upset me" I told her that I don't want to make her cry or hurt her anymore, I never wanted to do that. She said we could talk after lunch.<P>She didn't want to stay and chat in the parking lot. We played that game before and the manager kept coming out to see what was going on. We were there for over an hour last time. I suggested the house.<P>When she came in a flood of emotions hit her. This has been her home for 12 years. Things just fell into place after that. Yes, I'm babbling like a brook. I believe that I have that second chance and will not blow it this time.<P>Thanks for everything Cheryl.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Tim

Tim,<P>I just got here....<P>YIPPEE!!! YIPPEE!!! YIPPEE!!! What more can I say????? <BR> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<P>Mitzi<BR>

Great news!! Just keep up the good work and on that positive road. While I want to re-emphasize what everyone else is saying,,slow,,easy does it, baby steps and so on,,,,,just remember,,your spot has been reserved on the Recovery Board!!

Medic,<BR> Things are looking up!How about a date with her in the backseat of an old Chevy at the local drive-in,just like the good old days?!<BR> --Murph

<B>YIPEE!!!!!!!</B><P>Hi Ho, Hi Ho.... it's back to Plan A you go!<BR>With loving thoughts and lots of cards....<BR>Hi Ho, Hi Ho.... on lot's of dates you'll go..... Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi HO!~<P>Ok, so I can't carry a tune in a bucket... I like to sing when I'm happy! <P>BTW, I thought Linch was in Tenn. If you happen to have lunch in Linch, watch out of the lemonade... I hear it's got quite a bite to it!<P>Thoughts & prayers,<BR>B<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

(((((((((((TIM)))))))))))))))))<P>It is sooooooooooooo gratifying to see Plan A/Plan B tactics WORK! Both on your own personal growth and that of your relationship with VAL. You have remained constant and it is starting to pay off! Maybe the following days will be more like the kiddie coaster at the fair, with gentle ups and downs. Keep up the good work and keep us informed!<P>Beth

Did I say linch. I can neither spell nor type.<P><B>LUNCH</B><P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Thank you Lord!!! Amen Amen Amen!!!<P>WAY COOL!!!!!

Now, see what happens when I don't stay up on current events.....I am so happy for you!<BR> <P>I guess everything happens for a reason and in it's own time. You have found the right time and now know the reason. Keep that love light shining for Val - and make sure that she can see it! I know that you will.<P><BR>

I am so happy for you....way to go...and slow and steady wins the race.<BR>Seriusly, I tryuly hope that this is the beginning of the end of the nightmare for you

Medic<P>What a great day for you!!! I hope and pray they continue from now on. You certainly deserve it. Keep up the good work (Plan A) and post with more good news...the board could use it.<P>Hopes and Prayers!!!! <P>J W

Tim,<BR>Well look what happens when I'm away.....Maybe that is the problem, trouble follows me. <P>I am completely overjoyed for you.<P>I wish you and Val the very best...couldn't happen to a nicer guy. You have been so strong and focused through all of this.<P>Best Wishes<P>"mental"

Medic<BR>Didn't I say I had a good feeling about this?<P>So You have made me cry happy tears tonight!<BR>Keep it up! <BR>

Me Again,<P>I woke up today with such a great feeling. I was hugging what used to be her pillow. I thought, oh poop, was it all just a dream? Naw, couldn't have been. I had that tingly feeling like you get when open up a York Peppermint Patty<P>Well, I took my Mom up to Home Depot today to get some flowers for my Dad's grave. <P>And guess who calls? [insert guess here]. That's right [for those of you who said Val]. <P>She called to thank me for lunch yesterday and told me it was nice to see me and spend time together. She was working and had some time to chat, was pouring models. I think that has something to do with teeth.<P>Short conversation, she had to go, they were double booked. Nice warm I Love You's from both. I wasn't a dream! She will never know how much that call meant to me. Well, maybe she does. Always showered me with affection and love. My Val is coming out of Fantasyland!<P><BR>Hey Mitzi,<P>Those little guys have the same expression I have on. May face is starting to hurt from smiling so much. I was up at my Moms house fixing some stuff and she says something like my your'e in a good mood today. You betcha.<P>Yo Nerlycrzy,<P>I plan on keeping up the good work. I don't even have to try. The love I feel for her is so strong and real. I think she felt it yesterday too. AHH recovery. It's a little in the distance but I do see road signs for it.<P>OH Murph,<P>You dirty dog, you. How about a date with her in the backseat of an old Chevy at the local drive-in, just like the good old days?!<BR>Are you trying to say you dated Val too? What's up with this? Yeah, your'e my Buddy all right.<P>Hi Butterfly,<P>Yes, the singing and dancing will be coming soon. Thanks for the tip on the lemonaid!<P>Pilots wife,<P>I would say that the Plan A/B did work quite well. I started B this new year and the cards and notes from her increased. Imagine that!<P>Looking back a year ago, I was a mess. Lost 15 pounds, wasn't eating, sleeping. I saw no end in sight. What a difference a year makes!<P>Um Bill,<P>You don't want to go to linch now? I already made arrangements to pick up Dylan. It won't be the same without you. We will send a post card <P>Hey TNT,<P>I was strong, confident and very loving. There was no way I could lose. I had so many people backing me. [you guys]<P>RC,<P>Where have you been hiding? The love light for my Bunches will never go dim again. I truly believe I have been given a second chance and will not blow it this time around.<P>Hi Willbok,<P>I believe that this is the end of the nightmare as well. I spent 3 hours with the girl I married yesterday. Not the clone. <P>JW,<P>Thanks for the prayers. You bet I'll keep you guys advised. This is a victory for the entire community. Without you all I would not have been able to do this on my own.<P>Thanks again, Friends.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

You Guys must have snuck in when my back was turned.<P>Nancy,<P>Thanks for you best wishes and kind words. Never say never!<P>Wassy,<P>That is so wierd! You, Sam and I had good feelings regarding the chat. Good Karma going on.<P>I'm so happy I could burst. That would be messy. Maybe I'll hold off on the bursting for right now. Just got new carpet in my home office.<P>Thanks Guys<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>The Zipman <P>

Hey Zipman!<BR>Stop making me cry ya hear!<BR>Every little thing you tell us makes me soooooo emotional!<BR>I am so happy for you I can't stop saying it.<BR>Happy Happy Happy Happy!!!!<BR> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>You know you made Sam very happy too.<BR>Be careful now. You don't want Val to know you're off making all us old ladies happy all the time. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]<BR>Good Vibes coming your way again!!!!

Hey Tim,<P>I am soooo glad to see things are looking up for you and Val!!! You are definitely on your way <P>It feels really good doesn't it? My h moved back home a week ago Friday and it has been so good to have him back home! So far, things have been going great! I hope they stay that way!<P>I hope things start getting even better for you! They sound great already and it is wonderful that Val said she doesn't want a divorce! That is sort of how I got my h to thinking... I told him I wasn't filing for a divorce because I didn't want one, he moved back home less than a month after that!<P>Keep us posted ok?<P>Woozy

Wassy,<P>Old ladies? I'm not sure what you are talking about. I look around here and only see that I am surrounded by my friends sticking together fighting the good fight. No old ladies here.<P>When one of us makes progress, we all rejoice. When one falters, we feel saddened.<P>I'm still looking and don't see any old ladies here in the crowd.<P>

Opps,<P>Sorry Wozzy,<P><BR>Didn't see you sneak in either. I am so glad to hear things are going well for you and H.<P>I really would have settled just to hear that she doesn't want a D. But, the added benefit of starting to see each other again. <P>She didn't want to leave yesterday. I didn't want her to leave. The hug was the best! When we were talking I placed my hand on her knee. She didn't throw up, so, I figured, hey go for it. I'm glad I did.<P>Hoping to be a success story,<P>Tim

Man, I always miss the good stuff!!!! <P>Success story, I can see it already!!!<P> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<P>Tried to find a happy naked dance icon, but I guess it's not to be done. But I'm jumping around the room and acting like a fool, if that counts at all!!!!! [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>Keep up the good work, enjoy those dates and we'll be looking for you on the recovery board!!!!!<P>I'm just so HAPPY!!!!<P>Love and hugs,<P>Lori

Tim,<P>I am very happy to finally here some good news around here. You deserve it! <P>Dana

Hey Medic,<P>I'm out of lurkville now, just for you.<BR>I have one very important question...<P>Did you tell Val that I moved in?<BR>Do I have to go?<BR>Maybe I can move to Linch - is that near you.!!!! tee hee.... (sorry WilliamJ, - but it's good to see you back)<P>I am so happy for you, this is just the best news. It really does seem as tho she is coming back, from wherever it is they go....<P>Does anyone know where they go??<P>I will think of you often, wonder about the dates, ice cream, nice gentle rollercoaster rides, and wish you all the very very best that life can offer, with your Valerie. I know how much you have wanted that.<P>Can I just ask one personal question, one that pertains to Val and my H.?<BR>How are you going to deal with the conflict avoidance. I don't want to burst your wonderful bubble, please don't think that, but this issue has just built into something so huge in my head, that I don't want to reconcile with him any longer.. <P>I have to go now, I have a tradesman coming to fit security screens, but I'll be back later.<P>My heart goes out to you, and a big big hug for you and Val.<P>Bonnet

Me Again,<P>Hi Lori,<P>Hopefully I will be able to do the happy naked dance with my Bunches. I may be a few months away, but, I can wait for her. <P>Hey Dana,<P>Thanks for your well wishes. This is good news for all of us. There is hope.<P>Opps Bonnet,<P>I may have inadvertantly forgotten to mention that I now have a new room mate. I'll tell her next time, maybe. <P>This is great news.<P>As far as the conflict avoidance goes, I layed it on the line that it was time to go one way or another. I would be fine either way but did have a preferance.<P>I told her she only had to sign the papers in two places and in 30 days we would be D. She asked me if I signed already and what the hurry was to get out of the marriage. No, I did not, am not in a hurry and don't want the D. I expressed my feeling that it was time to "[censored] or get off the pot."<P>I know she is afraid it will go back to the way it was and tried to reasure her that I would not even consider offering getting back together if things had not changed.<P>I offered her the "test drive" for a week. She said she is not interested in coming back for only a week. Ding.. Ding.. She needs to know it will work this time around.<P>I will do my very best to show her the new and improved Tim. Key elements.. she really doesn't want a D. Told me that. Didn't sign the papers and send them back. She would always consider me her H.<P>I know that this is the start of a long road ahead of us and am ready willing and able to reconsile with her and make her happy to her dying day.<P>But, that's only me.<P>BTW, the dishes in the sink are YOURS!<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Hey Tim,<P>Lurker Alex here... hadn't stopped around here for a while and your post... wow... I mean WOW!!! <P>I guess it really pays to be perseverant. Good for you & Val : (kinda envy you in a good way).<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>

Not much to say, Tim, but...TOO COOL <P>I hope everything works out for you two.<P>------------------<BR>Allen<BR>sparky_dog_mb@yahoo.com

Congratulations Medic and Val!!!!<P>I just stopped by the board for the first time in months and couldn't have read any better news!!! I am so happy for you both. My prayers will continue to be with you. You deserve this and a lot more. <P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<P>www.widesmiles.org/gallery/britanie<BR>

Medic,<BR>You don't know me cause i don't post too much anymore but I am truly happy for you. Keep up the great work... slow but sure, cool heads prevail....<BR>Michael

OK, where are you young man?<P>What you get some good stuff happening and it's "later" for us!!!<P>NO, Not acceptable!!!!!<P>Get your buns over here and share, mister!!!!!<P>Love Ya and Miss Ya,<P>Sheba

Hey Tim!!!<P>I missed the good news you posted !!!!<P>I knew that if anybody could do it, you could!<P>Best of luck and God Bless<P>Bob<P>p.s.<P>Bedroom is now a light gray and bathroom is forest green!!!