Meet with H today first time since he left. - 06/03/00 01:51 AM
We met to day. I survived it. I papbably did all the talking I told him that I understood what he was going through. I told him that I knew that he loved me and wanted to be with me. BUt that it was too hard right now. That he wasn't ready. He said all he wanted to do was be in contact with me. I told him that he was the one that asked to come back not me all I asked him ws what he wanted to do with the house. He was the one who brought up getting back together. I told him we both knew now that we couldn't get back together and live here. He agree. <P>He is not ready to separate from her but he want to stay in contact with me. He asked to come tomorrow to get his clothes. I asked to be here when he did. He didn't want me. I asked if he was bring her and he said she was going to help him . I said no I didn't want her in my house. He said he need things I said that was fine but he wasn't bring her why couldn't I help if he needed help. He started to walk away telling me that "that you changed the rules that you always changed the rules." I told him that I didn't change anything he did he was the one doing it. I asked him why he didn't want me there he said he didn't want to sit down in our house and talk. I asked if I promise to be good and not talk can I stay. He said yes. I asked him did he have to take everything he said no. He would only take what he needed. <P>I told him I had a chance to apply for a teaching job in Texas. I asked him if had ever thought of living in Texas. HE said don't ask right now. I said okay but in your entire life would ever consider living in Texas. He said he could live there. I said that is all I wanted to know. He said you should apply for the job.<P>He wants to stay in contact he will call me from work. I asked him to call me at least once a week he said he would but I doubt that. He left me touvh him and he held me and kissed me and told me that he loved me and always had. I asked him why he had never gone to see a counselor he siad he didn't know who to go to. I said all you had to do was ask our primary care doc. and he would have set it up for you. I told him I have four names that would take our insurance. he wants me to give him the names when he comes tomorrow. <P>I have given him a card that I had written that I believed in him and I believed in us and that we could do this. Before he left he handed it back to me saying please keep this for me. I said I would. It would have been too hard for him to get it into the house and she would have made him throw it away so aparently he didn't want to do that. <P>This is different from the first time he left. It is better. I think there is hope.<P>The week before I moved I was reading my horescope and I really didn't like it. It told me that the plans I was making should be postpone until Aug or something like that. I don't remember exactly, but that this was not the time August was. Now if he only will get help, I think we have a chance.<BR> <P><P>------------------<BR>di<P>