Okay,<P>I guess My H has such an influence over me, that I have started to think this could be true, even tho my heart says no.<P>I know that it sounds ridiculous, but I'm going to ask anyway. Believe me, I came up with a whole list of reasons other than sex for why men marry, but I'd just like to hear it from the men on this board ... what are the other reasons? And is sex the primary motivator?<P>Jo<P><P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

Sorry to burst your bubble, but what I've seen in sexual surveys (the real, published ones not these rinky dink things online), sex is a primary motivating factor for a lot of guys.<P>What the surveys don't show is why men STAY married and where they get their satisfaction from once they are married. I would hardly think it comes from sex. Since married men live longer than married women, I'd say it comes from comfort and being taken care of.

Resilent,<P>Deep down, I would have to say that sex is THE single most influencial thing for men. There are other reasons, but the sex drive is so strong that it is a major factor in all of our decisions.<P>It isn't the only one but it might as well be much of the time.<P>I have read and I believe it is true, that men think about sex, roughly every 10-20 seconds of everyday. I cannot vouch for the exact number but I will say that it is pretty much true. <P>Now think about this, that means that every train of thought, every other emotion is constantly being interferred with by the sex drive. It is, I believe, why men do compartmentalize well. We would go insane otherwise.<P>I know this all seems nuts to you. You can no more realize what I am really talking about than I can understand the drive women have to have children. Yet, it is the same drive just in different forms. <P>The perpetuation of the species, the most basic of all needs and drives. <P>So what do men do? Well, they learn that they can trade things for the sexual gratification that they need. They can offer security, by working and making money. They can offer physical safety from other men. They invent things and try and control nature for their spouses: building houses, inventing heating, etc. They will even promise to be monogamous. Of course, that has an alterior motive, we would like to know that we are the father of the children.<P>Resilent, this is so deep it is hard to articulate. But almost all behavior leads back to the sex drive. And actually if you think about it, so does most of womens behavior. <P>The difference is that in women's case it is the care and nuturing of the children and it isn't ongoing. Once children arrive women's sex drive frequently diminishes, leading to trouble in marriages. It has been reported widely in journals about how women pick men, based on their preceived ability to protect and nourish her children.<P>So I would vote with your H, for the most part. It isn't quite this simple but it is pretty simple. Why do you think that the #1 need of most men is sex? It isn't a fluke, it is because it is what drives us, especially when we are young.<P>Sorry to disillusion you, but we are pretty simple in some ways. For that matter so are women.<P>Take care,<P>JL

I had a discussion (I listened mostly) with my father about this. In the marrital counceling part of his vocation he had heard this mentioned, too.<P>There are three shared reasons that men and women give for marriage. However, the two sexes reverse the order of importance. Personally, I do not see that for my own peronal reason. The friendship aspect is what I miss the most or, I believe, I would have fallen off the celibacy wagon by now, IMHO. <P>RRunRR<BR><P>------------------<BR>Almost anything can be undone or forgiven.

I would have to agree wholeheartedly with Just Learning, while there are other reasons, the idea of having sex just about whenever one wants to, is definitely #1 with men. If only women could hear the conversations that men have

Thanks Popeye, Just Learning, Rrunrr and F A,<P>I do know how important sex is to the male species, heck ... on my H's EN list I did for him it was:<P>Sexual Fullfilment<BR>Pasta <BR>Conversation<BR>Recreational Companionship<BR>etc....<P>(can't remember exactly the order, but for sure SF was numero uno)<P>My H confirmed my interpretation of his list was accurate to the "T".<P>It was just the fact he said before we seperated it was the ONLY reason men marry ... so I thought well then his OW should be perfect for him because that is the only EN she is servicing. She's a sex machine.<P>Then I thought, wait a minute, he comes to me for all his other EN, or is trying to.<P>So if some men tout this the only reason, such as my H, then he could marry an unstable, immoral, lazy, non-spiritual, mean spirited, abusive, deceitful person like OW and BE HAPPY!<P>I'm not attacking the OW's character without first hand experience, this woman has shown me many times what she's all about.<P>It really is interesting to hear from the men on this board regarding their EN, esp with regards to SF. Unfortunetly, I am still in learning mode about how they view their marriage relationship in that regard.<P>As you said Just Learning, it's pretty basic and simple, but being a female of the species, I find myself in continuous education regarding my H, my male counterpart.<P>Thank you again, and any additional information on this subject is very welcome.<P>Jo

Resilent,<P>Ah!, the complexity comes in what and who men find sexually attractive. That is the part is missed in your question. <P>Here is where other needs come in for most men. Yeah there can be sex without emotional involvement, but it gets boring after awhile.<P>For example, men won't often find a woman attractive if she is verbally abusive, if she finds other men attractive and runs around with them, it is difficult to find her attractive. There are so many variables here, and this is where it complex. <P>If your H just wants sex, plain old no emotional attachment sex, then there is little chosing to do. However, if other factors enhance the enjoyment of sex, such as emotional connections, fidelity, etc, then other needs have to be considered.<P>In fact, you will find that depending on what is happening in his life, other needs may actually be listed first. Yes, it does happen . <P>So when women say that all men want is sex, they are right, but only partly right. Because other factors, lead to sexual attraction. Here is where it gets complex.<P>Does this make any sense?<P>Hope so,<P>Take care <P>JL<P><BR>

Hey Just Learning,<P>Have another question for you.<P>At one point my H's OW was threatening to have sex with my H's friend if he didn't leave me. She was explicit in her voice page regarding what she was going to do to him. And I know she would do it too.<P>I was disgusted when I listened to it and viewed it as a sleazy way to manipulate my H. I also thought my H would see it for what it was and be repulsed by it.<P>How would that be viewed by most men? Would it spawn jealousy, or a primal emotion of ownership? Wouldn't men see thru it?<P>Jo

Jo-<P>Well...I agree with your husband on the importance of sex as a major part of a relationship...but I'm not sure that I can say it is the "Only" reason.<P>Now divorced, looking back on my marriage I've learned that our sexual problems...(Sex was absent from our marriage for more years than I care to admitt) Dr. Phil McGraw points out that..."It is nothing short of mythical denial to think that sex becomes unimportant at any stage of an intimate relationship!"<P>His key point on this topic is..."that sex is not everything...but, if you have a good sexual relationship it registers about ten percent on the "Important Scale"...meaning it makes up about 10% of what is important in the relationship. But if the sexual relationship is not a good one...that registers about 90% on the "Important Scale"<P>From my experience, men seem to need the sexual part of the relationship to feel connected and really linked to their partner in a caring way. Women...seem to need the reverse of that. They need to feel the caring and emotinal part of the relationship before they seem to feel comfortable about letting the sexual side of the relationship grow.<P>I'm sure you will get many different opinions on this subject from both men and women.<P>mrrlk<P>

Resilent,<P>I depends on the man. For example, if this is just purely sex, he might respond to the pressure. However, if he was deeply in love with her, this threat would eventually drive him away, because he couldn't trust her.<P>However,if he knows he cannot trust her, for the very obvious reasons you have mentioned, then it might not really phase him, other than to go back to her just to satisfy his needs.<P>Are you confused yet? I am. It really does depend on what he feels for her if anything. If it is just sex, nothing else.<P>To answer your question: wouldn't most men see through it? Yes, they would, but men don't mind being manipulated by women really. It is flattering that women go to such trouble to do so. It means that she wants him. Now you are really disgusted right. But, men do like to be wanted by women.<P>Now you should be really confused. <P>I don't know if this helps, but it might give you a little different perspective.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Hi Jo!<P>How did you know I married my W mostly cus of PASTA????? LOL. Yeah, sex is great.....but my W's lasagna is to die for! Sought far and wide by everybody around here! We even got a special kitchen set up in the basement for her lasagna production....we put up a few hundred pounds of it every few months....even the plumber takes W's lasagna for payment!<P>Ummmm...musta been some other reasons I married her....Oh I know! She doesnt get mad if I forget and leave the seat up!<P>Luv Ya'll<BR>Bill<BR>

Hi Xman ...<P>Yeah, Pasta is a staple in our, I mean my house . I too make awesome lasagna. As a matter of fact, that was the first meal I cooked for my H and he's told me many times, that dinner synched the deal, he had to marry me. LOL!<P>My H has boiling of pasta noodles down to an art, when he thinks they're ready he'll throw them up and if they stick to the ceiling they're al dente and ready.<P>As far as leaving the seat up, my H was still in training. One night he left it up and I visited the lieu, well I didn't turn the light on so I wouldn't have to squint or wake up all the way, next thing I knew I was stuck in the bowl. I was not happy.<P>Best Xman!<P>Jo

If men only marry for sex or just to have there sexual needs met, and women know that this is the only reason men marry.<BR>Yet they still marry these men, what does this say about women??<BR><P>------------------<BR>PSALMS 133<BR>AMOS 7:7-8<BR>ECCLESIASTES 12:1-7

Hiya Jo!<P>I bet that COLD china bowl woke ya up......better turn the light on next time!<BR>W says the "throw it on the wall" test for al dente is for amateurs.....beats me.....whenever I think of pasta and walls, I think of Felix and Oscar in the "Odd Couple" flick of old......Rememember the scene where Oscar throws the plate of linguini up against the wall and yells "Now it's garbage!" LOL Still! RIP W Matthau <P>Best Jo!<P>Bill

Hey Daisy,<BR> Sex is great,but I guess I liked the companionship,a warm bed,and someone I could take care of(I think I spoiled her).Like JL said,I wanted her to want me to please her.Maybe that's unhealthy,but it feels good to be needed.<BR> <BR>BTW,I wouldn't DREAM of leaving the toilet seat up!<P> When are you going to make some of that awesome lasagna???<P> ~~Murph <BR> <BR>

Yes, Murph and I are waiting to be asked over for lasagna. You can't go bragging about it and then deny us can you?<P>About men marring only for sex... Then wouldn't they all marry at about age 16 as soon as possible? <BR>Lora

Well, since my H gave up an uncommitted relationship with a confirmed polyamorist to be with me, and since it was HIS idea to get married when we'd been living together for 2 years, I can't say sex was his primary motivation.<P>I think that despite his protestations of disbelief about marriage and commitment, what he really wanted was a long-term, committed relationship. I think nurturing was more important to him than sex. He's never been a real high-libido guy. However, that said, within the limits of his libido, he does seem to be happier when the limited amount of sex he DOES want is good.

D & C,<P>Question for ya. What is a "Polyamorist"? I looked it up in my Merriam/Webster Bookman and it's not listed.<P>I feel like an ignorant dork, but I've got to ask you.<P>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited July 09, 2000).]

When I first met my stbw (soon to be wife) I was dating several other women so having sex was not really a problem.<P>After dating her for a while, the sex got better and better, most likely because of the other things she did. She was warm, friendly, caring, encouraging and hard working. I felt very "complete" with her. A feeling I did not really have with the others. So while sex IS a big factor, it was not even close to the only one.<P>I knew this was it when they all "ganged up on me" and basically said none of them wanted to have this "part time" relationship and all of them broke up with me at the same time. Man, was I blown over. Of the 2 I was regularly seeing at that time, I missed my stbw the most.

Thanks Just Learning ...<P>Okay another question along the same lines.<P>If a woman sleeps around ALOT and you know this, would you marry her anyway? Lets say you do have feelings for her, doesn't the fact she is/or has been sexually active with alot of men turn you off? Or, do men think women who are "giving" (for lack of a better term) will be very experienced and thats attractive to them?<P>Just trying to understand men's libidos.<P>Jo

Resilent,<P> I have no idea, how to answer that question. But I will bounce a few things around and let you see what others say.<P>First, marriage is a commitment on both parties. So the one ingredient required is that both parties think the commitment will be up held. If they do, then the number of partners isn't really relavent. But that determination is very important. <P>By that I mean different people have different ways to reach this determination. Cultures where virginity is very very valued, use that, so a woman that has slept around will not be trusted to meet the commitment. One the other hand you could view it as sowing wild oats, and once someone is settled down they will uphold their commitments.<P>So it depends on the method of determination being made. I believe that other factors come into play, not just sexual activity when making this decision. For example is a person stable?, do they meet other commitments? , when did the sleeping around occur?, etc. <P>So I think that the answer is not really easy. I will say for my part, that I had a very enjoyable batchelorhood, and married at 31. I have been married 24 years and have never had an affair. So my view is that it would be true of women as well. I've known people who married as virgins and are divorced. You see that here on this board.<P>So the answer is expectation and how you determine peoples level of commitment. I will say, if a woman or a man has been through many serious relationships, that is not a good sign, never mind the sexual activity, but people do learn and grow. <P>So you are left with something that is not determined as a rule but on a gut level feeling between individuals. Always thought the virginity test was certainly a zeroth level test, but not necessarily useful for determining if you are marrying someone who will stick with you through thick and thin.<P>So the answer is a definite MAYBE. Heck I don't know.<P>JL

I can agree with Murphy on the companionship.<P> My wife kept renewing my Playboy subscription even when I said I didn't really want to keep receiving it. I have back issues of over a year I have not even taken out of the wrapper! Because of the trust and personal relationship we built up I can only fantasize about her. <P>Sometime ago in one of these discussions the topic of celebacy was discussed at length. Who is able to stay honost during the seperation with it? I have told my W how much I have grown through this period, but I just cannot think of anyone else.<P>She was great in the kitchen, always experimenting, but I doubt the plumber would take any of her lasagna for payment. I was always in charge of the noodles prep.<P>rrunrr<BR>

I was typing when you asked this...if a woman sleeps around...<P>WOW! What a loaded question. <P>I heard while in college from a friend that women want a man with some "experience". I never bought into that, really. <P>When I met my wife, because of her age, I was slightly impressed that she had remained a virgin. It became more important as the years went by, a feeling I felt compelled to share during our intimate times, but not every time.<P>rrunrr<BR><P>------------------<BR>Almost anything can be undone or forgiven.

Jo:<P>You asked about what a polyamorist is. If you go back and read the first post by "grandpabri", you'll see what polyamory is. <P>There are people who believe that humans are not made to have exclusive relationships, and that we limit ourselves by these limitations, and that having things like "group marriages" just means you're "sharing the love experience among more people."<P>I say, "Gag me with a spoon."<P>Most of the polyamorists I've known were sci-fi fandom types who couldn't get laid any other way. I met my H through such circles, if you can believe it, even though I don't like sci-fi. I had friends who do, and we were both on the periphery, I guess.<P>If you want to read about this stuff, do a Google search under "Loving More." This is an organization that preaches this stuff. My feeling on what I've read is that it SOUNDS logical, in a screwy way, and the practitioners are usually pretty bright, intellectual people, but there's a fallacy buried somewhere in there.<P>I hadn't planned to get involved with my H, and I knew he was in this uncommitted relationship with this other person, who also was involved with other people. But when the sex issue came up, I knew I wouldn't be able to deal with it, so I started to break off with him, saying that I couldn't proceed further without exclusivity, and he said, "That can be arranged."<P>This after saying for the last month that he was open to anything except a permanent commitment. <P>PS -- it was his idea for us to move in together and his idea for us to get married. Sounds like he had a little "fox and the grapes" thing going there. <P>You know what I always hated? What I call "the double standard after the fact." This was when a guy would want to go to bed, but after you did, he decided "Well, if she did it with me, she does it with everyone." <P>Kind of a no-win, don'tcha think?<P>I slept with a fair number of guys before I met my H. Most were in exclusive relationships, some weren't. Some I regret, some I don't. Would I do it again? No, but mostly a) because of diseases; and b) because casual sex only lets you feel less lonely for a little while (except vacation romances).<P>I was 28 when I met my H, and 31 when we married. We're the same age. He sowed his wild oats too, and he is NOT going through any kind of MLC. In fact, he seems quite happy and content these days.<P>So why Dragon Lady? Easy. I was occupied with other things, he was having a rough time at work, and she was there.

Jo,<P>Since I'm a woman I like to believe a man marries for love and companionship. <P>Murph,<P>Well, I'm insulted!! Here I am over in the other forum while you're over here trying to get lasagna from Jo! <P>Mitz

Jo/Daisy,<BR> Before I was married(if I can remember that far back),I dated a few girls who I guess you would call"easy".We actually had a lot of fun,but it wasn't just sex.But I never would of considered marrying one of them.I guess I would of felt they'd get bored fast,and would of screwed around on me.<BR> My stbx was the outgoing cheerleader type,but she didn't make the rounds,if you know what I mean.I truly believe getting older,and aging got to her in a big way.Probably happens to a lot of women,(didn't you say you had some gray hairs peeking out?).<P> Mitz/Jodie,<BR> Geez,can't a guy play the field?<BR> All I was trying to do was have a little lasagna,and chase Daisy around with a ShowerMassager! <BR> <BR> I,too,would settle for love and companionship,but life always seems to get more complicated than that.Ask TheStudent,she'll tell you. <P> ~~Murph

Hey Gang,<P>OK, odd man out again. I lived with Val for 7 years before we decided to marry. The sex was great! That's not why I married her. I loved this woman and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I still do.<P>Before I started to see her I was on a heroin overdose call that turned into a cardiac arrest and accidentally defibrillated myself with 200 joules. WOW, that hurt. It's no wonder dead people jump, it hurts like the dickens. Mr. Winky stood tall and proud for a week. <P>I was with three different women that week. That was sex, not love. I did care for them. Not enough to want to commit to a lifetime thou.<P>So, Medic says sex is very nice, but, not a foundation for a relationship or marriage.<P>I did not get married for the sex. I married for life and the love of my W.<P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

Ah Medic,<P>You just put tears in my eyes. I wish to gawd my H would have wrote that about me.<P>Your wife is a very lucky woman. And it's a relief to know that men do feel somewhat the same about the who/why they married.<P>Thank you for your response.<P>Best,<BR>Jo

I think my H married me because that was the only way he'd "get any" from me.<G><P>Seriously, while I think that may be part of it, I also think that my refusal to have sex outside of marriage indicated to him that I was suitable wife material. Another thing is that his buddies were all getting married, and he didn't want to be left out of the loop.<P>He was very into recreational sex (and I think it didn't much matter with whom it was), so I really don't think he married me <B>just</B> for sex....except from me. I do know that he probably wouldn't have married someone who slept around.

Murph,<P>It's wierd you mention gray hairs, just getting ready to do a color job tonight.<P>Hey, is The Student around anymore? I never got a chance to meet him/her.<P>Psssssst ... don't tell Lora I told you Murph, but her H is making Cherry Beer in the garage tonight. <P>So we're all invited to Lora's for Lasagna and Beer.<P>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited July 09, 2000).]

Jo/Daisy,<BR> Cherry beer and lasagna,sounds good to me.Has she started on your insert,yet?<BR> <BR>What,you never met TheStudent?She's a very knowledgeable young lady who been hanging around the Divorce Board lately.She and I go way back,you know.We've had some very enlightning conversations.Her dad works at Boeing,too,so we're going out for Mocha's the next time she's in town. <P> Dyeing your hair?Are you going with Daisy Blond again?<BR> Have a good week! Stop by the giga-thread once in a while.<P> ~~Murph/BoeingBum

Rocky/Murph,<P>No, Lora is shurking her chores. And I really need that insert installed bef winter, too.<P>Was thinking of coloring hair orangish green. Maybe it'll wake up my fellow digit heads at work. That and a Lip Stud. <P>Orkely Dorkely about visiting the Mega Thread.<P>Peace,<BR>Jo

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sweetpea:<BR><B>I also think that my refusal to have sex outside of marriage indicated to him that I was suitable wife material.<P>He was very into recreational sex (and I think it didn't much matter with whom it was), so I really don't think he married me just</B> for sex<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>It's weird, but for men, sex is the #1 emotional need, yet we fall in love with the women that initially withhold it from us. I guess it's from growing up learning that there were two types of women, those who "do" and those that you take home to meet "mama". It has to do with feeling that you can trust the "good girl", that she won't be out sleeping around on you, that you can trust her and build a life with her, while the "bad girl" was strictly for fun. I know that is how I looked at my W, she was the "good girl" that I took home to meet mama. She was the first girl that I dated that didn't just "give it up". That made her special in my eyes.<p>[This message has been edited by F A (edited July 10, 2000).]

Hey y'all,<P>Just my two cents worth thrown in the mix here:<P>It seems to me that the fact that approximately 80% of all marriages are affected by infidelity shows that there is plenty of sex available outside of the marriage bed. Sex is not the main reason that people get married. Heck, anybody with $50 can get sex.<P>HOWEVER, I will say this much. I had sex before my husband and I got married, but marital sex is much better because of the love and committment involved. At least I find it to be so.<P>Any man who would tell his wife that sex is the only reason men get married is just trying to justify his behavior and/or hurt his wife. Even if any guy believed that was the only reason to get married, he wouldn't say so if he was ANY kind of gentleman or if he was very smart.<P>Peppermint

Peppermint,<P>I think you hit it on the head. I still believe sex is the prime motivator in the relations between men and women. But You pointed out something I was trying to point out earlier. <P>An emotional connection with a person (spouse) makes the sex that much better and well worth getting married. <P>As someone pointed out earlier in this thread, if sex is good in a marriage, then other issues take top billing. However, remove sex from a marriage, and watch what happens to it. Some will survive but most won't. Of course as aging occurs this changes slightly.<P>But the original question do men marry for sex, I still think it is a yes. Not that sex isn't available other places, but not the feelings that come from a committed relationship: marriage.<P>No women in her right mind would tell a prospective husband, yes I love you and want to marry you but we will never have sex. I just don't think that would lead to many trips to the alter. <P>You could counter that no women would say yes I'll marry you but I don't love you, I just need you for the money, sex, and helping with my children. Yet, there have been a few women on this board who have done just that.<P>So like anything, it is subject to perception but mine is that sex is the GREAT motivator in the male/female dance of life.<P>This has been a very interesting topic. I suspect you will get many more answers with the new week upon us. <P>JL

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best"<P>- Woody Allen<P><BR>I didn't get married for sex. <P><BR>Slightly Sane<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I still believe sex is the prime motivator in the relations between men and women. An emotional connection with a person (spouse) makes the sex that much better and well worth getting married. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I believe that alot of the men on this board are in alot of pain because of being betrayed, therefore there are many, <B>not all</B>, but many that are in the self-rightous frame of mind right now, but I do believe that if many to look back on it now, I do believe that many would admit that sex was the primary, <B>not the only reason</B>, but the primary reason they got married. Maybe the next question that needs to be answered is how many men would have gotten married if they thought that the person that they had strong emotional ties to would never sleep with another man? I am a man and most of my friends are male, and believe me if I would have thought for one minute that I could continue to have sex with my current W without having to marry her, and felt that she would <B>never</B>have sex with another man, I seriously doubt that I would have gone down the alter. C'mon men, admit it, while it may not have been the <B>only</B> reason you said "I Do", you not wanting the person that you had an emotional attachment to and enjoyed sex with, to have sex with another man, the very fragile <B>"male ego"</B> pushed or at least nudged you down the aisle.<P><p>[This message has been edited by F A (edited July 10, 2000).]

As one of the few women who will readily admit to loving sex, and thinking it's pretty darned important in a marriage (my 2nd EN, my stbx's 1st) I would like to say this:<P>While I would prefer being married to the man I'm having it with, it was pretty nice anyway when I wasn't married. This isn't the 70's anymore, thank god (and yes, I still have my lava lamp too!) and it is not only NOT safe, but emotionally very confusing as well. <P>Is it a motivating factor for men? I betcha it is, but a few women, me included, loved the idea of being able to have it with the man I loved whenever and wherever we wanted... and frankly I was tired of "looking for love in all the wrong places". Sex was one big reason my stbx and I married, and frankly held us together (pun intended ) for years after the problems began. <P>Men, on that old EN Questionairre, where does it rate for you? That should answer how important it is.<P>

I think I sense a pattern here. Bottom line sex is important to most men. The promise of regular intimacy played a huge role in nudging most of us guys down the aisle. Is it the only thing we want? No! I know that I could not survive on a diet of only "wham bam thank you ma'am" sex. Times of emotional connection are needed too.<P>Is sex often a primary reason that men marry? I would say yes. Is it the only reason? No way!<P>Mud

peppermint,<BR> <BR> Where can you get sex for $50?<BR> Around here,it's at least $100!! <P> ~~Murph

Hey JustLearning, O2bsane, FA, NB, Mudder, and Murphy,<P>I agree that sex is a prime motivator in a relationship, and of course it affects the decisions we make when selecting a relationship partner. No argument from me.<P>However, the original question asked was whether it was the ONLY reason men get married. I do not think it is the only reason men (or women) get married, and from your posts I think you agree.<P>The whole statement is very stereotypical anyway, just as New Beginning brought to light. Sex is my number one EN, much higher than on my husband's list. And as much as I love my husband, and have since the day we met, I wouldn't have married him if it were impossible for us to have sex. I also wouldn't divorce him if it became impossible now.<P>I agree that sex is the primary factor in a relationship for most people, and not just men. I also certainly agree with New Beginning that a fabulous sex life has helped many marriages survive through other problems.<P>So, I agree with everything JL and FA said in their posts, can totally relate to New Beginning (children of the 70's that we are), and adore what O2bsane and Mudder said in their posts.<P>As for Murphy, all I can say is that I just made up the $50 figure, but you seem to know WAY to much about the whole money for sex thing for my comfort level!! I find it hard to believe that any man sensitive enough to be a MB regular would have to pay for it anyway, you know that we women just LOVE sensitive men!!<P>You guys are all great!!<P>Peppermint<P>