I JUMPING OFF THE ROLLER COASTER!!! I HATE THIS! - 07/28/00 03:18 AM
I am ready to jump off this roller coaoster of life. This has been the most horrible experience in my life. I never dreamed this would happen to me. I never ever would have thought this.<P>Do you think you get weaker as time goes on? I find myself looking to see if men are looking? Am I a whore now? What is going on? Is this normal at the age of 26? <P>I feel like I am so needy. I just want to get the hell out of here. So I can start over. I sick of the depression. Im sick of the suffering from withdrawal.<P>I thought I was over that. THis is hell. I drove by OM house today. I called him the other day. Just to see how he was doing. That was it though. Then I felt like crap after that. <P>My Aunt died last week. I was so upset. I just wanted OM to hold me so I could cry.<P>Im at the REVENGE stage now!!!! I want OM wife to know all about this. I just feel like such a [censored]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>I am trying like hell here to hang on to this roller coaster. I am dealing with it on occasion. On the other hand. OM is off scott free. He is going on with his life like nothing in the world happened. I guess the word USED could fit here.<P>I am like "I am busting to stay on this track". It is NOTHING TO HIM! Why do all the bad people always come out to the good.<P>I thought I was doing the right thing by telling. Now I wish I had stayed out on my own. And divorced. I am so sick of one day thinking baout OM. Then the next forgetting it!!!!!!!<P>It is about time that he pay as well.<P>I Need help here!!!<BR>I just needed to vent!<P>Prayers<BR>Renee