I met OM last night!!!!!!! This is LONG!!!!!! :0) - 08/18/00 05:51 AM
WOW!!!!!!! Prayer answered!!!!! I got closure finally!!!!!SLAM THE DOOR!!!! IT IS GOING IN THE HISTORY BOOK NOW!<BR>I met with OM last night. When I first walked in the door he said "Wow, you look hotter than a $3.00 pistol. LOL!! I said "OK we cannot say things like that. That isnt why I am here" "I am here to end it and say SORRY" <P>He and I discussed all this mess. The deal was that I sit on one side of the room and he sit onn the ohter. I told him that we had to be adults about this and that I didnt want him but I was having a hard time letting him go. He was now over it. He told me things that would help me cope. Plus also pointed out that this was out of sin and would never last. No matter how bad we wanted it to.He said he was sorry for doing what he done. And for what happened. he knew he loved his wife and I loved H. He said W had an idea that something happened. but she has told him in a round about way, that she doesnt want to know if he ever cheats on her. I told him taht I would never ever want to hurt her. He said when she left for the beach on Wednesday morning she said "Im going to be gone for a week. Are you going to be here when I get back?" Thta broke his heart. He said that we just screwed each others heads all up. <P>He said that he thought that one of the problems with H is with his dad. He thought that was our only problem. He said he ws the same way with his mom intil the A happened. He said the day that I called him on the phone and told him that it was wrong. And we needed to part and work on our marriages. That was when he realized that he needed to let go and it was a fantasy. He felt like he owed H something. But he didnt know what to do. He wanted to just tell him. Man, I think your a great Man for not shooting me. I think I would have done it. I just think you deserve to kick my A@#... <P>Anyway! We parted... Never to spoken to again. I promised him to never call him ever again. I told him that I would not to anything to destroy his marriage. That I was happy that it was working for him.He said he never wanted to start that again. That he could not handle it. He thought that it was a "roses" for me. I didnt want to go into that conversation to deep. We both knew that we couldnt discuss that. So we made the agreement. He will not talk to me and will avoid me in all aspects. And vice versa. He said to be strong. And think about H not him. That is what made him hang in!!!!!<BR>If I get weak and call. He has told them not to except phone calls from the 3 numbers that I contact him with. <P>So thank GOD!! I was really happy when I left. Yhe feeling that I had when I was there was odd! It wasnt the same. I think it has died over time.THANK GOD!!!!! I wanted to come home and Hug all over H. OM told me to get my [censored] home with my hubby. That i loved him and he loved me to much.... He thought that I was more of his sister than anything. But we can never be friends. So the NO CONTACT is forever now. I know he wont call me. I have to be strong and not call him.. I really dont want him. I thought he looked like crap to. So all the stuff he told me helped.......<P>So that is that. I took the day off today to kinda hash out my mind. <P>I know this is withdrawal all over again. But I know in my heart that it would not be possible. I dont have that "what if" in my mind.<P>i dont feel hurt. I feel alot better. Like it is now time to focus straight on me. Not everyone else. <P>Thanks for all the prayers<BR>Renee<P><P>------------------<BR>We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. Repeat that 5 times a day. I promise you success!