For women--embarrassing question of the day - Marriage Builders® Forums

Here goes: [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

At what age were you able to regularly "get there", and quickly at that, through either manual stimulation or intercourse? Without going into great detail, it seems unlikely, from my own experience as well as what I have read, that a 23 year old could achieve orgasm every time, in a matter of minutes, even through intercourse alone. Whew! I'm having a hard time believing that my H, though he is truly wonderful, knew just what the ow needed (even from the start, when they barely knew each other), just the right buttons to push, to get her there every time, and in a matter of minutes. OK, experts--opinions?------------------ "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:7[This message has been edited by Persevering (edited October 10, 2000).]

I'm no expert, but if she started young, like 14 or 15, she would already have several years experience. Also, this is the information age, with everything you can get on TV, the net, and reading material there are plenty of places to get tips. She may have had a good teacher. My question is why would she want to in a matter of minutes, intercourse alone??? Sounds convenient, but boring.

31 for me.I say she's faking it. Everytime and just with intercourse?!?!?! PLEASE!

I started masturbating early...maybe 13 or so, and have always been able to have an O easily & quickly on my own. When I first had sex at 17, I had one. Generally, I have one every time I have sex (yes, with intercourse alone) unless I am just too tired to want to.KathiPS--I think it has less to do with the man's ability to get her there than it does with her own...I know exactly how & where to, uhm, grind or push to hit the right spots, and I've always been blessed with a fairly high sex drive. [This message has been edited by kam6318 (edited October 10, 2000).]

I'll interject a note here: H was apparently "more" than she was used to and he actually hurt her. Would you be able to if you were in pain?

Just the wife reporting in from new home, we brought a load of stuff over last night, and of course I HAD to plug this in first thing! First, this isn't embarassing, I am getting really good at talking about this stuff here. DOUBTFUL. Highly doubtful if fact I would be willing to say HE{{ NO. I have been married 8 years to a very skilled, very sensitive (at least in this dept.), well put together, handsome fella, and even when all the emotional stuff has been in tune (and conditions perfect) intercourse alone doesn't do it all the time. Women aren't put together to get there from intercourse alone. It happens of course - but the female nerve endings that help ya get there are bundled in a neat little package we like to call the button. Getting gory now - from what I understand the O comes from the stimulation of this little bundle either from friction caused by the in out stuff or from direct (but not too direct thanks) stimulation. I first read your question before it was edited and response posted and there was no mention of the ow in it so I am not being biased against her. I thought you were talking about you. Hubby says the OW said she got there fast every time including the first which was right after they met (hello, let's f) but he now thinks she was faking. Our OW was a young thing like yours too. Faked. Betcha. It is really easy to fake one, ashamed to say it because I have done it loads of times. It gets the OW to where she wants to be though. By making him feel like he da man she is boosting up that ego and reeling him in. Compare and contrast me and our OW here. Her - oh baby oh baby you are the best. Me - over to the left, ok, now faster, now do the other thing, yeah, ok, well now lower, ok, think it will work, mmmmm, oops, baby whimpered, start all over, faster, slower, harder, softer, let's whip out the batteries for added help, 13 minutes later.... SO who would you rather do it with? I have never had a problem in the O department (before the A) and was able to get there regularly at about 18 although I was usually alone [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

IMHO she is a big ole faker just like ours was. That's ok though. I know I got mine, and hopefully she never had the pleasure with my husband that I had last night (OH LA LA).

OK, a little more. Kathi - is it a matter of moments though? I gotta party with you dear, SEND ME YOUR SECRETS!!! I bet Kathi is pretty assertive, and wiggles alot. I wonder if your hubby would tell you if OW wiggled like a wild woman. If she did maybe it is possible, but then again I still think that she was probably faking. As for the hurting stuff (again so familiar). In a cute little 23 year old voice imagine this - Oh baby you are huge, that thing is a monster, it's gonna hurt, I never had anyone so big, be gentile with me, oh don't put it in all the way, I'm not used to anything so amazing. Again, betting it is just another ego trip.

Personally I believe she was probably faking it and trying to boost his ego. In my case, my husband claims he liked sex with the OW because she did have one most times they had intercourse and even had one one time while giving him a blow job. YEAH RIGHT! We had this talk right after he told me about the affair and I tried my hardest to get him to see that she was faking it (why wouldn't she... she gave him what he wanted, boosted his ego and had that connection with him). My husband had told her that I rarely had one during intercourse (which has changed)..so why wouldn't she fake one each time so that she could be one better than me? The lying slut would do anything to hang on to him. He got very defensive while I was pointing out to him the "facts" of the situation (she wouldn't lie, would she??) so I finally just let it drop. However...if you think about it logically.. from what I have read women have affairs for emotional reasons and men have them for the sex..so in order for the sluts to keep our husbands interested they have to fake it and act like the sex was the best they ever had. What person would keep going back to someone who didn't respond or who was to difficult. With all that being said...I say the OW in your case (and I mine) is lying just like always.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>I bet Kathi is pretty assertive, and wiggles alot.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Yes, quite true. I expend A LOT of energy during sex. Like I said, he can't "give it" to me...I have to actively grind, bump, thrust & wiggle it so that contact is in just the right spots. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

However, he's never objected...

Uhhhh...I'm told I was sent to nursery school at age 2-1/2, in diapers, because I was having "too much fun" with, well, shall we say "auto-eroticism" (though obviously I didn't know it at the time.My teddybear was my partner of choice in those days, so I'm told.

Now that sex is the only thing on my mind, here is what I surfed up from one of the oxygen sites.......... "Since most women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and it's very difficult to get direct clitoral stimulation during intercourse, most women do NOT have orgasms through intercourse alone. Manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris is most usually a prerequisite for climax. (Think about it -- could you imagine a man having an orgasm without directly touching his penis? It's possible, but certainly a rare occurrence!)" Here is the home page for the O site <A HREF="http://www.thriveonline.com/sex/orgasm/orgasm.what.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.thriveonline.com/sex/orgasm/orgasm.what.html</A> Kathi - you wiggle girl! Dazed - WOO HOO, you sound like my little one.[This message has been edited by justthewife (edited October 10, 2000).]

I think I need a cigarette now. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Or maybe a cold shower.

Last time, I promise (until I have more to say of course). Joe, get thee to a shower, fast. Unless of course your wife is there with you. Then by all means...... Found another interesting site - <A HREF="http://www.thriveonline.com/sex/experts/drgardos/drgardos.orgasm.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.thriveonline.com/sex/experts/drgardos/drgardos.orgasm.html</A> This fella answers the age old ?'s re: SEX. Did y'all know that only 25% of women always O during sex, and most can't from intercourse alone? Kathi is one hellova woman. Note to self: wiggle wiggle wiggle.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by justthewife: It is really easy to fake one<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Then what are those contractions?

Faking it is easy enough. With me, the contractions are much less with a penis inside. If the man isn't sensitive enough to notice these it is easy enough to fake. A famous trick to get past a more sensitve fella would be to pretend to climax at the same time he is. With me I can even fake the contractions. Just squeeze him a few times, moan a bit, and Voila! The kegel muscles are the ones that contract during orgasm, and you can practice using them - to demonstrate, one, two, three. See? It takes alot of practice to do that, but it isn't just for nefarious means, it helps us gals that are busy having babies, and is good for controling the sneeze leakage that women sometimes experience after having a baby or when they start to gracefully age. Hope I answered your ?.

More than I ever cared to know .... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Since I was 26 I have been easily lead to O.I have never had a prob in that area ... as a matter of fact sometimes it happens oh too quickly.As far as an O being only associated with clitoral stimulation, I believe there are two types of O. I know I experience two types .... and most of times in the same .. um .. session? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Jo[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited October 10, 2000).]

Glad we're anonymous. Age 3, for me. Manual stimulation. Age 17, with a boyfriend (dry hump). 30's, intercourse alone, every time, and multiples, all night and into the wee hours, with a lover who unceremoniously dumped me by not returning a call one day. To this day I cannot tell you if his technique was any good! I was overwhelmed with lust for the guy. (Other than sex, we had nothing in common.) With H, manual, and intercourse, but never 100%. As time went on, 100% became 5%, and now there's no contact at all, ever. His choice. IMHO, the OW is probably faking it. She probably does "love" your H, but I agree with the other ladies here. And some of you are pretty humorous! This post will have me chuckling to myself today. ------------------ Belle, Domestic Goddess

Joe in Tx. Light one up for me too.This thread is embarassing! Answer to the question... I have always had a keen orgasmic sensitivity. Orgasm was always easy to achieve through intercourse and manual stimulation. I guess about 17 would be the age I noticed the ability was there through intercourse, this would have been with my pre-H. Always the best, loved it!!! (30 years). I really have a difficult time now though... I wonder if I will ever get it back, I miss it so much and it is such hard work, I sometimes don't even care if it comes back. Too tiring!, but I keep trying. If that faceless person would just not pop into my head everytime, I think it would come back.Kathi...that wiggling thing!!! Had to laugh... Reminded me of the description my H gave about OW. He CLAIMS, he never could get emotionally close enough to her to have a rigid erection(like he gets with me)...it was always semi to soft (DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?) but, she would want it and take it anyway. She didn't need much just a little bit inside of her to come, or she would get on top and wiggle like crazy to get off. I guess I need to try this wiggly stuff! Only thing is, I don't want to do anything that she did... I don't think I'll ever be on top again. Never liked that much anyway, it goes to deep!!! Can't believe I'm saying this stuff...I think I'll call my H to come home or take a cold shower with Joe Tex. Any ideas out there would be greatly appreciated.Cathy (Cathy with a C, not a wiggly K)

First to answer the OP, I started having sex at a real early age, like 10. Not my idea. I started to do some self exploration at about 13, it worked for me. I never really liked sex that much until I was 18 and met my first H. He is the first man who ever made me orgasm. I married him two months later. Mike knows what he is doing when it comes to sex too. I think a lot of it depends on the man being willing and able to learn how to please their partner, that usually take a little time. Now <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Dogbert: [QUOTE] Then what are those contractions? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Most women can clench and unclendch the muscles in the vigina. I can, it makes *things* interesting ! And it does help the man to believe you have reached the big O even if you haven't. While I do reach that point 99% of the time, there have been a few times over the years especially when I was on Zoloft , when it was just easier to go with the flow and fake it than to work that hard. Thank heavens I'm on serazone now ! ------------------ DebHepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

Oh, I want to add, I don't think she faked her O's with my H, he said it was very easy to please her, (slut), anyway, I think that could be part of my problem, I think he will have to work too hard to please me so I give up.My kegel muscles are GGGGreat! Don't have any problems with the big squeeze job!Cathy

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Catplay: I think I'll call my H to come home or take a cold shower with Joe Tex.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ummm, thats how people wind up on this site in the first place. LOL <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Bozos_ Deb: Thank heavens I'm on serazone now ! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Serazone ROCKS! I feel like I'm 18 again. Constantly!!! Woohoo!

I started exploring my body at age 10 or 11 and though at that age I didn't know what it was called, it was such an incredible feeling!I fit into the "most women" category and need to have manual stimulation to O. I didn't start consistently having O's during sex until I was in my early 30s. But my H was great at making sure I got the stimulation I needed and I could O 100% of the time. I can get there fairly quickly, but enjoy putting it off for a while. Another interesting thing worth noting: I've experienced the equivalent of a man's "wet dream" a couple dozen times in my life. I'll be having some sort of erotic dream and the next thing I know, I wake up having a mind-blowing O. No touching, just dream stimulation. Any other women have this happen? When I was younger I used to fake it because I was embarrassed to admit that I needed manual stimulation. And, yes, it is very easy to fake. Just add a few rythmic contractions to Meg Ryan's act in When Harry Met Sally and "ta da". I never fake now -- don't want to, don't need to.KristyAnn

I'm with Kathi, except it didn't start until last year right around d-day, and I was 38. (I've had orgasms, but not every time with intercourse.) Somewhere on this site, Harley has an article about couples learning to help the woman get there. Slow ones are good, but it's hard to make them the norm, especially with all the demands of life and two small kids. Now, we can enjoy quickies even when they're watching tv in the other room.For years I bought the idea that women had to have some other stimulation and the one that it was "normal" to only have the "os" at certain times of the month. The guy of Mars and Venus fame among others teaches this stuff.So why now is it all working for me? I think several things converged. H had renewed confidence in himself. (Even if we wiggle etc, there has to be a hard ummm there). And I had nothing left to lose. I was no longer self conscious and for once I was looking only for my pleasure, rather than wanting to please him.The surprise to me was that this was the highest pleasure to him, to give and give to me.So now I'm embarrassed, but I think this is a very important topic. One thing h said that hurt at the time but I took to heart was that OW really knew how to move and enjoy herself. Just like Kathi said...[This message has been edited by schizzo (edited October 10, 2000).]

Can't help chiming in. Don't remember first orgasm -- 15 or 16, I think. First intercourse was just before 18th birthday. By 20, yes almost every time, _without_ manual or oral assistance, yes lots of moving around, yes quickly sometimes (had to make effort to wait for _him_), within moments would be a possibility definitely if already aroused when the action starts, and yes, even if it hurts, after a few moments the pain gets blocked by the arousal. True, faking is easy and all the authorities say most women need manual or oral stimulation, but pressure works too and depending on how the people fit together, it can work with just intercourse. For me.(Written with red face -- hard to tell the world about this kind of stuff!)

You know, this conversation seems silly. I know when my wife does and she doesn't. Rarely in our marriage has she just said, "I don't think I can."As far as "at the same time" issue - how often does that happen? Sure occassionally. But many times it is a give and take proposition.It seems awfully extreme for a woman to fake it to that point!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Bozos_ Deb: Most women can clench and unclendch the muscles in the vigina. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the vague little rythmic ones that you can barely feel. I'm not talking about clamping down. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Well, for me, as a teenager with less experience I was able to O a lot faster and without anything but intercourse, lots of teens don't seem to understand the concept of foreplay. Then again, some grown men don't either. lolSo if this girl is young it may be easier for her to O quicker and everytime simply because she doesn't know there's supposed to be more. Also she was doing the forbidden which can make it much more interesting. I'm sure she was under the impression that she was something special instead of what she really was, a cheap replacement.H says the OW (18) was alway ready and didn't need any foreplay, no wonder he enjoyed it. I didn't either back then, had no clue as to what in the heck I was doing.Also remember she didn't have to worry about all the stresses you do in a long-term relationship complicated by things such as kids, bills, and a past between them that may not have been that rosy.

Sorry Joe in Tx. No harm meant and certainly not a come-on... you're too far away anyway....I was just kidding, who needs that situation, I have enough to deal with.Schiz were you referring to me or to Kathi with a K? And what is serazone? Cathy

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Dogbert: You know, this conversation seems silly. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I don't think so. This isn't about you being able to tell about your wife getting there, or if you think faking it is extreme. A betrayed wife is asking a question (very valid) about sexual function. Men are able to orgasm much easier than women, so maybe you don't understand the frustration women experience or how it feels to be told that the OW was all over his stuff with a big ole smile all the time. If you know your wife well and are sensitive to her needs good for you, and you are probably not in the average range for husbands. I think (tell me if I am wrong) many of the women here have experienced the same question about the OW and the relations our husbands have had with her. We are looking for a bit of information and validation here, and I must say I was really relieved to hear that someone had the same ? I had about the A. That is what this place is for right? Support, validation, information, and maybe a little hope. H and I had a great talk this morning about the whole faking it issue.

Kathi with a K, about having Os every time and not needing a big warm up.

hi, i am a 30 yr old female who didn't get there til i was 28. by this time, i had been married for 10 yrs. i always thought that what i felt during lovemaking was as good as it was gonna get. but when i discovered what it could feel like, i couldn't wait to have one everyday with my husband.but i agree with some of the other posts. having a real orgasm can takes minutes, or it can be prolonged. but also like the posts read, i do not believe that the ow only has them through intercourse. there has to be penetration and stimulation from other sources to other places on your body.women will understand this comment.now you can laugh cause the ow is lying...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Catplay: And what is serazone? Cathy<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>It is one of the newer anti-depressants that, unlike some others, does not interfer with the libdo or cause anorgasma.

You know this question is coming... What is anorgasma? Is orgasm in there somewhere?

Hot Topic!I hate to think about what my husband did with someone else...and the results of that affair is a child. I also know more about what they did, what it was like and how, what, where and a lot more than I should know. But, I do know that she had to bring herself to O because she was unable to do so through ordinary intercourse. He also said she was a log...unresponsive and unenthused.I have always been extremely orgasmic and have always experienced O without a lot of fanfare or sexual gymnastics, because for me, sex is in the head, the eroticism, the emotions and the mutual attraction. Pretty heady stuff. Especially when you can see your spouse's soul in their eyes, fingers entwined and the words...The huge difference I notice since the affair is that I am plagued with self-doubts I never had before. Maybe she was a log, maybe she was unresponsive, but my husband chose to do her a few times instead of being with me...sort of like driving a Yugo when you have a Jaguar in the garage. The Yugo may have been newer, but the Jaguar was vintage....Why he went back another few times, I will never know. Now we have child support for the next twenty years. Ugh. Must have been some kind of chemical draw towards her because she was dropping eggs like a hen and he felt the pull to fertilize. Biology, animal instincts, I guess.Catnip =^^=[This message has been edited by catnip (edited October 10, 2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Catplay: You know this question is coming... What is anorgasma? Is orgasm in there somewhere?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Inability to reach the big O because of dificulty in maintaining and aroused state. [This message has been edited by Joe in TX (edited October 10, 2000).]

Oh, catnip, you hit the nail on the head!!! When H and I are making love, I can orgasm before intercourse easily because there is so much more happening than just physical. The times we're just having sex, I couldn't orgasm easily if you offered me a million dollars.H has told me that there were several times with OW that he got up and left in the middle of it because there was noway in the world he was going to orgasm with her. He finally understands why, she wasn't me, and it was just empty not even that good sex. Now if he can just figure out why he kept going back. I think it was her fawning and telling him how incredible he was even if he had started to treat her badly.

Well,As far as the same time issue .... my H and I use to all the time ... we were definitely in sync. And it was quite erotic to have it together all the time. I miss that .... what an understatement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I miss sex PERIOD! LOL!Jo

KristyAnn, Me too, Extremely strong O's while asleep, from dreams.------------------ Belle, Domestic Goddess

I've certainly had great sex in dreams, but not to the point of O...gee, maybe I need to sleep longer!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Twice while sleeping, once waking up on the pull out couch at a family reunion party weekend at Grandma's, yes the whole family was starting to get up and move around the house [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

and the next one was at home in the middle of the night. Thank goodness I am not really noisy! OH - a side note, this is perfectly normal. See Dr. G. - <A HREF="http://www.thriveonline.com/sex/experts/drgardos/drgardos.07-14-00.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.thriveonline.com/sex/experts/drgardos/drgardos.07-14-00.html</A> Been on the puter WAY too much today. Feeling highly sexed. wonder why???

Is this all there is? I was hoping for a little more response here... Hoping to get some ideas on how to fire up my libido w/o serazone prescription/female viagra.How can you fire it up?, when you still think you are being compared or wondering if she was better, even though you've been told she was not better, just different, and trying so hard to imagine what she looks like, other than smaller than yourself. She is small, I guess that helps in the wiggling ability department!Maybe this should be another thread, but what shall I call it? Schizzo and Kathi help me out here, give me some hints on how to get my GROOVE back!!!! Great thread title, How to get your GROOVE back...Somebody else start it, ok!!!Cathy

[ February 08, 2005, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]

I am with KristyAnn on the "wet dream thing" and to add to that, I have been able to achieve orgasm without ANY stimulation whatsoever whilst fully awake....I was in my office, listening to my (now x) husband um, "entertaining himself" and totally got into it myself, without me touching myself in any way. I truly believe it's a mind over matter thing......I was a late bloomer, didn't start having O's til I was 30 (am now 35) but now I can achieve an O any time I put my mind to it. I think it's sad that people automatically assume if a woman is so in tune with her body that she can make that happen, that she must be faking it. I'd be striving to make it happen in my own love life instead of discounting it!!!

This is a joke my brother told me recently:Why do women fake orgasim?......Answer>...They think we care...D/2000

My wife is 29, I'm 28, and I can say that she has had only 1 O through intercourse. I do, however, manage to get her there every time we are together through other stimulation. I thank god she can not get it through intercourse, as the OM did not give her an O the one time thay were together.

Well, here's a topic! Age of first O: 8 years old, in bathtub, "investigating" things. First O w/partner: 13, with friend "Tammy." We started practicing kissing for boys at a sleepover (just us two) and wound up making out. She knocked my socks off! First O w/boyfriend: 15 w/H #1. I married him when I was 17. O was pretty much a regular thing after about 2 months of "doing it." I have to say I have been blessed. If I'm really aroused before we start (doesn't have to be foreplay - sexy talk, dancing, flirting, etc. works) I sometimes climax upon entry. That's the icebreaker, then more follow. I've made it into double digits on a few sultry occassions! Other times, it feels nice, but no fireworks. I think it might have something to do with my monthly cycle - ovulation and such. As far as the size factor being a turnoff - I've had lovers who hurt at first, but that really seems to intensify the erotic sensations. Sometimes the pain is what sets me off at the start. Of course, you adapt quickly and the hurt goes away. Yes, just like the OW, I've had sex with a man and made it to the O the first time with him. Others couldn't drive me there in a car! Just one more input for the embarassing question of the day![This message has been edited by Mourning (edited October 11, 2000).]

OK, Before I cough up my personal info here, ahem, I have to say that this is NOT a silly (dogbert!) or dirty or shameful conversation. Ok, well, maybe it is a little embarrassing. Some of this stuff I never even told my H!I finally 'got there' when I was about nine or ten. Bathtub faucet. Quit laughing or I'll kill you, J. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

As for the little 23 yr old chippie, I too am among the enlightened bunch who believe in our hearts that she must have been faking. In the rare possibility that she isn't, women who O that easily don't have them as strongly. Lots of little ones that aren't real earth movers.Personally, I prefer my one hard earned, neighbors-calling-the-cops ones. Justthewife, you sound like me, lololol thought I was just plain old difficult. Thanks for helping me feel normal.One last thing, I have been known to fake orgasms (pre H) just to get the poor guy off me! It was like, let's end this already, Prince Valiant! You ain't got what it takes, and I don't want to hurt your feewings, so here ya go. My present to both of us. Phew, glad that's OVER.SheeshKhyra

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Khyra: I finally 'got there' when I was about nine or ten. Bathtub faucet. Quit laughing or I'll kill you, J. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Personally, I prefer my one hard earned, neighbors-calling-the-cops ones. One last thing, I have been known to fake orgasms (pre H) just to get the poor guy off me! It was like, let's end this already, Prince Valiant! You ain't got what it takes, and I don't want to hurt your feewings, so here ya go. My present to both of us. Phew, glad that's OVER. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Khyra, thanks for starting my day with a chuckle! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Khyra - That is funny! I think we are for the most part normal. My directions last night sounded like the new electric slide song - hop three times, stomp left, cross right, stomp right twice, that's right, now how low can you go, wiggle it just a little bit, lemme see you wiggle it - Wait wrong song, but hey it worked!!!

Glad someone else feels the way I do!JTW, ROTFLMAO! Yep, that't about it! Only with me it's "ok, that's good, but I need a break, let's do this now. Ok I'm ready to try again - oops, nope not yet, sorry. Ok, go back to that thing again - NO wait for me - OK - now, I THINK I can I THINK I can ... Sheesh, when did those police cars pull up front?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Khyra: One last thing, I have been known to fake orgasms (pre H) just to get the poor guy off me! It was like, let's end this already, Prince Valiant! You ain't got what it takes, and I don't want to hurt your feewings, so here ya go. My present to both of us. Phew, glad that's OVER.SheeshKhyra <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>rotflmfho!!! Well said! Thank you for the reality check, Girlfriend!!! dt

PamO, I agree with your stress factor view...kids, bills, dinner, appts., just everyday life can get in the way of a simple hello...not to mention sex. ------------------------------------------- Not *man bashing* here, but I know that when my H is attentive emotionally, I enjoy the sex a lot more, and find it easier to have an O....feels so good and complete [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

. But if he isn't emotionally with me, I can feel it....feels so much like a chore, and empty, without any O. Faking it...tried it once after seeing that movie with Meg Ryan...and I ended up laughing. My H took it personally, so I never tried faking it again. (wanting to never hurt him, but if I do, I'd rather it be with the truth). First awareness....1st grade on the school monkey bars. I remember some of the kids watching me, telling me how good I was on those bars....I wonder if anybody had a clue as to why I liked those bars [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

mmmmm Have you ever noticed how the boys don't show as much interest in the bars as the girls? (Just a thought). First time with a partner....I remember there being Jello involved, but I was too scared to remember anything else [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I was 19, and loved him with all that I had at that age, but I kept thinking that sex with him was going to be like all of the times it was with my brother, (my brother molested me from age 5 til 12) and it was never enjoyable. I belive that for a female, sex is more mental than physical, so maybe the *slut* did have an O every time....she has already showed her mentality by not just persuing a married man, but actually having sex with him. If she had the ability to *think*, she would have stopped to consider not just your H's feelings and life in general, but her own as well. Just goes to show you how deep her love for him goes....too shallow to measure. As for your H, I can't say for sure, but I'd bet my life that his alter ego is envolved more than he his. (No....not just his pee-pee). As for you, I wish you the best...

Just one man's experience after 12 years of marriage and 15 years of sex with my STBX.I can count the number of O's she's had on both hands and both feet. I would say half were from her manual stimulation during intercourse and the others were during oral sex.She had an "inhibition" to having orgasms and frequently would not allow me to perform oral sex even thought that was what made her tick.She is a tightly wound person who has the anal retentive Felix Unger cleaning habits. Does this have anything to do with it?All I can say, is that it was a definite inhibition she had and something she did not like to discuss. In hindsight, it definetly was a void in my life not having a W who enjoyed O's.Anyone else seen this?

I will have to say this is one interesting thread. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

For me I had great O when I was younger. I had a older boyfriend when I was in HS and we had great sex. He wasn't very big (if ya know what I mean) but he was really good. We did alot of stuff I haven't done since. I used to have multiple O with him.I met and married my stbx when I was 19. Sex was good until the kids then it was fake city and he never relized it. He just thought he was that good. Don't get me wrong he was big and that was good but he just wasn't as good as my first. Maybe that is why I never O as much. I guess I think maybe at 23 she could be O as much as H says but I'm sure there is some faking going on there to. Jill

hey, dazed...teddy bear here, too...stressful home life drives babies to use it as a sedative...

I think being orgasmic is largely a matter of how well the woman knows her own self, being free from mental or emotional hang-ups, and communication skills. If WE don't know what it takes to get us there, they obviously won't have a clue. If WE don't have established communication and intimacy, it ain't gonna happen. I have heard that there are some women in their 40s that don't achieve orgasm through intercourse. I am sure that is true, but for me the first orgasm through intercourse was about the third time. However, it doesn't happen every time because there have been times when I just wasn't present and was just going through the motions. It is always better when I am "involved". Anyway, I think this "every time orgasmic wonder" is either a fabulous communicator with a wonderful sense of self and confidence (hard to come by in 23 year-olds), or she is a great actress. My guess would be the latter since they just met and she *is* 23.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Dogbert:

Quote

Originally posted by justthewife: It is really easy to fake one<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Then what are those contractions?

Anybody with the slightest bit of muscular control can do that at will, on beat, quick, slow, strong, weak, standing on their head. That means nothing. I still say she's faking it. While that may feed the H's ego, it certainly is doing nothing for her satisfaction.[This message has been edited by popeye (edited October 15, 2000).]

Ok - I have to fight back on the age thing (I'm 24)Usually I do O each time with my H. However - going to popeye's last post - not recently (a few weeks) because I've got a few hang-ups and haven't really been interested. I'd rather do it myself (sad isn't it).Other point - Resiliant - I have 2 different O's too! One O is totally more intense (oral/manual) and penetration O is different (don't know how to best explain it).But, I hate to say it, Miss Thing may not be totally faking all of it. Depends on what kind of 'wigglin' she does. Plus - this is a totally different age, Miss Thing may have had quite a few partners (sorry I know that doesn't really help) I don't quite understand that myself especially since I've only had 4 partners since I was 17.Vee

Enough already! Thanks, everyone, but I have gotten WAY more information than I ever wanted. Let's close this thread!