Deleted by author.<P>H is mad at me for posting. --HBC<p>[This message has been edited by HurtButCoping (edited October 19, 2000).]

My in person counseling experience with H sucked big time. They made us talk about things we had already settled and left behind. However, the therapist believed we didn't talk about sufficiently to really not be a source of hurt for us. Well, it didn't help in fact it made it worse. <P>We went in feeling close, and after 5 sessions we were more distant than when we began. I started counseling with Steve, but H doesn't want anymore counseling. <P>Fifteen minutes of health care system, I hope you told your H he got ripped off! That makes me so angry. It's so difficult to get them to see a counselor to begin with, and then to have a quack screw it up. Rrnnnrrrr<P>From the first session, there has to be a plan about the direction you want to go (goals). Unless the counselor can provide a plan, as opposed to let's wing it and see what happens, don't go to him. After the 5th and last couples session, H and I had enough. It took a lot out of us, but I still wanted counseling. I called Steve Harley and it was the best thing, but now I can't get H to talk to him. H says he doesn't want to go through that again!<P>I also found another website called DivorceBusters <A HREF="http://www.weiner-davis.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.weiner-davis.com/</A> <BR>See if that can help you.<P>Good luck, MT<P>

Deleted by author.<p>[This message has been edited by HurtButCoping (edited October 19, 2000).]

Hi HBC,<P>I know that there are some counselors who are quacks, and maybe this is one of them. But are you sure that your husband is giving an accurate account of the session? After talking with my husband's counselor and having a joint session, I found out that my husband tends to tell me only the things that he agrees with or the things that he likes from the sessions. Not exactly lying, but not giving the whole picture.<P>I do think it is possible that the counselor might have said what they all do, that counseling is only effective if the person is receptive to it and willing to cooperate with it. Is your husband receptive to the idea and willing to work for it?<P>I hope that he is, I am living with the proof that it can really work wonders.<P>Best wishes,<P>Peppermint<P>

Main Text deleted by author.<P>H just called me, angry at posting this. I guess he's afraid you all really know who I am, or, more importantly, who he is. I am sorry that I have betrayed his trust by posting anonymously on this forum.<BR>....<P>Sigh. The road just keeps getting steeper. I need a rest stop!<P>I will not be posting here for a while. I hope you understand.<P>Thanks again. Please send us good thoughts. --HBC<p>[This message has been edited by HurtButCoping (edited October 19, 2000).]

HurtButCoping,<P>I posted to you here, but somehow it showed up as a new post/thread. It's titled, "You May Never See This But Thought I'd Post It Anyway". I must've screwed up the way I posted it--as I was trying to put it here in your thread.<P>Robino

Sorry, HBC<P>I missed your deleted posts. Can you lurk, then? I can see how many would feel threatened by being talked about. My h fortunately doesn't and has no interest in reading either.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{HBC}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

HBC, here's a good medical description. It's at <BR> <A HREF="http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-pe07.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-pe07.html</A> <P>Check it out to see if it at all fits.<P>Robin