Update (Long) - Advice Needed - 01/04/01 02:19 PM
Hi All<P>It's been a long time since I last updated, due in the main that there hasn't been much too tell and I have been really busy with work and kids.<P>However that all changed this morning. My W (who left in September and is now renting a house a few miles away and is still seeing OM) had asked me to enquire at the kids' school about a newly-launched care-club where they will look after the kids before and after school to fit in around working hours.<P>(The kids, btw, stay with me for 13 nights our of every 14 and see very little of my W -<BR>There is no contact between us other than on children-related issues.)<P>I contacted her by phone this morning to give her the details on the school club and asked if she wanted to see the brochure etc. She stated that she was not working today and had been planning on going to my (our) house anyway whilst I was at work, to collect the rest of her belongings. This really knocked me sideways a little as the belongings in question relate to a few clothes that she never wears anyway and a few ornaments etc.<P>I suppose my issue is the sudden desire for her to do this when she has ignored them since she left. In typical analytical mode, my mind is now working overtime trying to think of a motive for this and the best that I can guess is that she is either (a)preparing to file and wants to safeguard her things from my perceived reaction, (b) There has been a major development with OM (more on that in a moment) or (c) It is related to the dawn of the new year and she is making a point of confirming that she wants to "start afresh" my ridding herself of any association with the house.<P>I suggested that I leave work and meet her at the house (I was suspicious that OM may be with her and did not want him in the house)<P>When I arrived, she saw the brochure, we went to the school together and enrolled the kids (all the while she was playing happy families in front of the teachers with lots of "us" and "we" when explaining our kids hobbies and activities)<P>On the way back, she said that she had a lot to do today and would be leaving the house as soon as she had collected her things. I casually asked what plans she had for the day and she said that she had an "appointment" in the afternoon. I became a little nervous and pried a little (almost expecting the appointment to be with a solicitor re: filing). Upon asking what type of appointment, she replied a "hospital appointment". I asked if she was ill and she replied that she was having "tests".<P>That threw me into a loop big time (not in front of her, of course) and I am now out of mind with panic that she may be pregnant by OM.<P>I didn't (and couldn't) pry any further but am now quite concerned.<P>This could tie in with her removing further belongings from the house as she now has a reason for a long-term commitment with OM.<P>I know I'm rambling here but I really need some help in centering myself. I've had to take the rest of the day of work and am worried sick. From shortly after she left, the only 2 real boundaries that I set for myself which would cause me to not want her back is either a pregnancy via someone else (I'm sorry but I could not raise another man's child) or if it fizzled out with OM and she then sought somebody new.<P>I know that I might be reading too much into one gesture and one comment but I feel that I hardly know my W anymore. Like Rick37 and WAT, I have been sort of combining Plan A (when possible) with a DB LRT technique where I don't pursue, don't make unnecessary contact and never talk about "us".<P>Can anybody talk some sense into me on this one or do you think that my suspicions are accurate?<P><BR>Thanks<P><BR>Harry<BR>