Plan A worked but now H hardly shows respect for me - 06/03/01 09:10 PM
My H of 15 yrs and I have 3 kids from teen down to tot and I have been a SAHM the whole time and moved relocated 5 times for his job promotions over the years. At the time we married and discussed having kids he was all in agreement about my staying home with them until all of them were in school full time. Well now my youngest still has 2 more years before first grade. I have a college degree and would pursue something then. H had an A with a single aggressive coworker- they were involved for a year and it was physical the last few months. She managed to 'run me down ' in his eyes constantly saying I was 'lazy' just napped all day at home which is absolutely NOT true! My H is 42 and mid life crises bigtime- he has a very demanding job that has frequent travel and requires relocating for any promotions. I feel that since the A he has had alot less respect for me than he used to. I told him I was willing to make changes in our marriage to make him happier- I've updated my wardrobe,am taking antidepressant med, am driving further than I used to, trying to do more things as a family together etc. Yet he told the counselor we are seeing that he thinks of me as 'just one more on the kids." That seems to be how he treats me too. He thought of OW as his 'peer." He gushed to our counselor about how she kept her desk so tidy and her condo so clean( he's a compulsive neatnik). Well that just isnt POSSIBLE with 3 kids around!OW used to order H around and that is something I have NEVER done- she pressured him to divorce me and he was so determined to please her he did it then cancelled the papers the next day. And now he's started telling me I should get an outside job and even that I MUST exercise. ( I am quite thin after losing 15 lbs from the shock of his A!!) Plan A worked for me in that he was going to leave me for OW but decided to re-commit to our marriage. But what about the lack of respect for me??? Can anyone give me any advice? Thanks-lifeismessy