More Hate Fog - 07/14/01 04:33 AM
My husband and I had been separated almost a year, and it was becoming apparent that our differences were truly irreconciliable. Most of these differences had to do with alcoholism, abuse, and expectations. This was not the first time we discussed EN's. I thought this conclusion was made calmly, in a kitchen conversation about needs, etc. Still, we remained friendly and occasionally did family things (maybe twice a month, dinner and a video). <P>Weeks later, out of the blue, I received a spate of hate email from my husband, vilifying me as the most unreasonable, contentious, impossible shrew he has ever lived his life with. Blow after blow, this man castigated me, criticizing my religion, my unreasonable demands, and my "ocean of emotional needs" he can never meet. It was awful. He accused me of expecting him to be so pure that why don't I "marry a man of the cloth." I was emotionally pummelled for not working, although I worked 7 jobs last year. I've been on an extended leave of absence since my husband's last affair and the discovery I was bipolar. I've been working as a freelance writer. He has attacked me in the past, but never so viciously. He completely rejected me, demanding that we divorce because there was no possible way he'd ever come back. I was blindsided.<P>I very soon realized he was attempting to keep me away because he had involved himself in another affair, an exit affair I gather. I am devastated not so much that he is with another woman, but that not only is my marriage gone, but my divorce has been taken away from me (in a sense). He is not aware that I have knowledge and documentation about his affair. I'm afraid of this guy's anger and his wrath. I have had to cut all forms of communication off from this man because he has become a hostile button pusher. I have no family here, no help in my struggles. I truly feel emotionally abandoned, and blinded by my circumstance. Perhaps my expectation of having a helpful, go-at-you-own-speed divorce was way out there. We had talked about doing all the filing ourselves. Just when I thought I was emerging from the well of codependency, I slip and fall back.<P>Now, what is foggy about this situation, you MB gurus?<P>Nell :cool"<P>------------------<BR>One faces the future with one's past.<BR>--Pearl S. Buck