Second affair in our 6 1/2 year marriage. . - 10/03/05 08:55 PM
do I give it another chance. The first affair was an emotional one, no sexual contact what so ever. It was talked about but never happend. We did the EN Questionaire and talked a lot and learned that we both were lacking in the relationship. We worked it out, took me a full year to "recover". Neither of us went to counseling.
Found out just this weekend that he has been having a physical affair since early April. Only had sex one time, this last week. This time it was purely sexual, no emotional attachment. Not sure which type of affair is worse? I at first told WH that I wanted a divorce. Ofcourse he begged me to let him stay, give him ANOTHER chance, that he doesn't know why he did what he did, he wants help, that he doesn't care AT ALL about this OW. I do believe that he has no emotional attachment.
I calmed down a bit and after talking for 6 hours agreed to think it over on whether to file for divorce or not. He promised to work on the things I told him I wanted him to change. I am sick though, neither of us had ever been with another person sexually before in our lives. I feel betrayed and sick, I keep thinking of the revenge thing - he got to experience another partner, I should too. I told him he has till Jan 2nd to show me he really wants to stay.
OW lives out of state, so no worry of accidental contact.
Am I foolish for giving him a second chance? I told him and I know in my heart that I can not handle another affair again! I honestly think it would kill me. I am so scared that 3 years from now 20 years from now I will stumble on this again. I don't want to be the stupid wife who stays with her husband hoping he will change. After 2 affairs can a person change? I need help. I have NO ONE else to talk to right now. I DO NOT want to involve family and I don't have and super close friends to confide in.
Sorry this got so long, please help me.
Found out just this weekend that he has been having a physical affair since early April. Only had sex one time, this last week. This time it was purely sexual, no emotional attachment. Not sure which type of affair is worse? I at first told WH that I wanted a divorce. Ofcourse he begged me to let him stay, give him ANOTHER chance, that he doesn't know why he did what he did, he wants help, that he doesn't care AT ALL about this OW. I do believe that he has no emotional attachment.
I calmed down a bit and after talking for 6 hours agreed to think it over on whether to file for divorce or not. He promised to work on the things I told him I wanted him to change. I am sick though, neither of us had ever been with another person sexually before in our lives. I feel betrayed and sick, I keep thinking of the revenge thing - he got to experience another partner, I should too. I told him he has till Jan 2nd to show me he really wants to stay.
OW lives out of state, so no worry of accidental contact.
Am I foolish for giving him a second chance? I told him and I know in my heart that I can not handle another affair again! I honestly think it would kill me. I am so scared that 3 years from now 20 years from now I will stumble on this again. I don't want to be the stupid wife who stays with her husband hoping he will change. After 2 affairs can a person change? I need help. I have NO ONE else to talk to right now. I DO NOT want to involve family and I don't have and super close friends to confide in.
Sorry this got so long, please help me.