Desperately seeking advice!!! - 09/07/00 05:49 AM
A few months back my wife participated in an Internet affair with a married (I think) man upstate. I found e-mails, confronted her with them and sent an e-mail to the man saying to back off. Since then my wife appears to have gotten a new e-mail account and I suspect is still conversing with this man. She has learned from the last mistake and is covering her tracks well but there are too many behavioral changes to ignore an affair. I have been using Plan A for almost 5 weeks in an attempt to win her back. She has not threatened to leave but it is clear her mind is elsewhere. We have three children and I just don't know if she wants our marriage enough to work at it. Now she wants to go upstate again, ostensibly to spend time alone but I am not so naive to believe it. She won't use this time for us to be alone but would rather run closer to the OM. I have no definitive proof yet but here is my question:<P>If she persists in asking to go upstate, do I counter that I think it's more important to work on the marriage?<P>If she persists, do I let her go? How do I prevent it?<P>I know that if I let her go, I'll end up using a PI because my suspicions are strong. She has denied four different direct non-threatening questions about seeing someone else. It's obvious she's not going to admit it. If I don't find out the truth, I'll go crazy. How can I fight against someone who gets the quality time she denies me?<P>This is affecting my job performance and my life. I am doing the best Plan A job I can but I am not sure it's working. I could see her tossing and turning last night but I am not sure it's guilt or a burning desire to see the OM.<P>Please Help!