After much soul-searching (my problems are well documented in this forum) and sleepless nights, I decided to send my wife an E-mail about my feelings about her "dalliance".... Is this a LB? I don't think it is...<P><BR>I am reaching out to you with love in my heart, genuine feelings that should not be misconstrued as anything but wanting us together. I have been and will continue to be a man who loves you, listens to you and desires you. Let me love you and love me. Love me because I see the beauty in you and our family and want to keep it above all else. I'm still standing before you every day, arms open wide, waiting....<P>My needs are modest. Thay have always been. The things I cherish and desire are here. I see them every morning when I wake up and realize that I have what I need most. <P>If you love me, then reach for me....open your heart.....I won't hurt you.....this is too important to me....you're too important to me. Needing someone is not a weakness, it does not mean dependence...it means sharing something together ....a marriage , children, a home, happiness, sorrow....being there for each other.....loving one another....not holding back.....<P>If you cannot, summon the courage and tell me. There will come a time, if you don't love me, that this will be impossible to hide.

Gill...<P>I hate to say it...<P>...it(your letter) can be thought of as LB-ing.<P>Thoughts like...<P>"Love me because I see the beauty in you and our family..."... could be the thoughts she has about the OM.<P>"My needs are modest..."... implies her's are not.<P>"Needing someone is not a weakness, it does not mean dependence..."... true or not... it is not what needs to be said in a "love letter"!<P>"If you love me, then reach for me..."... your saying <B>she</B> has to do it herself!<P>"If you cannot, summon the courage and tell me..."... can be interpretted as judging her courage...<P>...all can be considered as LBs.<P>Check out the post by <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000436.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A letter for separated WS - seeking advice </A> as an example where there is less LB-ing.<P>Love letters need to show your strength...<BR>your independence...<BR>your self-reliance...<P>...not listing your needs<BR>...not listing your wants<BR>...not what is right or wrong<BR>...not educating your spouse<P>------------------------------------------<P>This is a hard time for you...<BR>...think through what I said...<BR>(I'm not saying I know it all...<BR>...just recounting 14 months of what I've seen on these forums)<P>Praying for you...<P> <P>Jim

I would like to say that you reaching out to her is wonderful. But you need to inform her that you can meet her needs, and that you have chosen her. I would love to get a letter saying that my husband chose me, and that he loved and respected me. That what ever happens between us, I will never lose that respect. I would like it if my H. would write letters of encouragement, and building of trust, talking about my strengths and his strengths, and how we compliment each other and how we can build our dreams together. But H. chose to write those words to OW> Hang in there, expressing your desire for her, and your willingness to listen, encourage, comfort, and empathize will be evident to her soon. I will keep you in my prayers, and will check in later tonight and see how you are doing. Maybe, through this channel of support, your W. will see how loving, determined, and willing you are to be with her. God bless, Gn

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by snugglermi:<BR><B>I would like to say that you reaching out to her is wonderful. But you need to inform her that you can meet her needs, and that you have chosen her. I would love to get a letter saying that my husband chose me, and that he loved and respected me. That what ever happens between us, I will never lose that respect. I would like it if my H. would write letters of encouragement, and building of trust, talking about my strengths and his strengths, and how we compliment each other and how we can build our dreams together. But H. chose to write those words to OW> Hang in there, expressing your desire for her, and your willingness to listen, encourage, comfort, and empathize will be evident to her soon. I will keep you in my prayers, and will check in later tonight and see how you are doing. Maybe, through this channel of support, your W. will see how loving, determined, and willing you are to be with her. God bless, Gn</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks for your kind words. The support I find among the group is an enormous help at a very difficult time. <BR>