Need advise - 06/29/10 01:36 PM
I have been gone after many months of posting. I thought we were all done, but things have changed at the last minute.
My wife and I had a date on Saturday for the first time in several months. She has been involved with OM for about 8 months and I filed back in late April for D. We have had very little contact with each other and she had been very clear that she loved the OM and wanted a Divorce ASAP. She has been encouraging me for months to date and move on with my life and in May I did. I have been with OW for a couple months and she found out. My wife is not at all happy and I am totally confused. She has called her every name in the book and now wants to consider reconsiliation...CONSIDER.
Setting aside ego and pride it is what I want to. She (in my opinion) has no right to be angry with me. I don't feel I have done anything wrong. We are in the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs in the divorce process and she thinks I'm commiting adultry. Well, in the strictest sense, yes. But really!!! It was over, she could not have been clearer and now this.
The date was actually nice. We had a good time and for the first time in many months there was some intimacy. No sex, but we did sleep together. Now she is out of town on business and when she calls she is very angry about OW. Yet, she is not ready to break from OM. I told her what I wanted, but I also told her I want this done one way or another and I want it done fast. We have been together 11 years, have two children and there is still feelings, but she is entrenched with OM and I am done with it. She said the other night we are so opposite. With me, she feels safe and compfortable. With him, it's exciting and new. He (she says) wants to marry her. She is concerned that he is "by the seat of his pants". Another consideration is he is very well off finacially and could offer her a different life style. He lives 150 miles away and would have to sell his house and move to this area because of the children. She says he is willing to do that, but I can't imagine they REALLY know what to expect. It's been weekends and part-time without any real life influences. What happens when real life gets involved? What sucks is I had resigned myself and started to move on. Now, I have hope without resolve and it sucks. Is there any waywards out there who have delt with this and have advise?....thanks
My wife and I had a date on Saturday for the first time in several months. She has been involved with OM for about 8 months and I filed back in late April for D. We have had very little contact with each other and she had been very clear that she loved the OM and wanted a Divorce ASAP. She has been encouraging me for months to date and move on with my life and in May I did. I have been with OW for a couple months and she found out. My wife is not at all happy and I am totally confused. She has called her every name in the book and now wants to consider reconsiliation...CONSIDER.
Setting aside ego and pride it is what I want to. She (in my opinion) has no right to be angry with me. I don't feel I have done anything wrong. We are in the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs in the divorce process and she thinks I'm commiting adultry. Well, in the strictest sense, yes. But really!!! It was over, she could not have been clearer and now this.
The date was actually nice. We had a good time and for the first time in many months there was some intimacy. No sex, but we did sleep together. Now she is out of town on business and when she calls she is very angry about OW. Yet, she is not ready to break from OM. I told her what I wanted, but I also told her I want this done one way or another and I want it done fast. We have been together 11 years, have two children and there is still feelings, but she is entrenched with OM and I am done with it. She said the other night we are so opposite. With me, she feels safe and compfortable. With him, it's exciting and new. He (she says) wants to marry her. She is concerned that he is "by the seat of his pants". Another consideration is he is very well off finacially and could offer her a different life style. He lives 150 miles away and would have to sell his house and move to this area because of the children. She says he is willing to do that, but I can't imagine they REALLY know what to expect. It's been weekends and part-time without any real life influences. What happens when real life gets involved? What sucks is I had resigned myself and started to move on. Now, I have hope without resolve and it sucks. Is there any waywards out there who have delt with this and have advise?....thanks