. . . however at the moment, I feel like a failure.
Stop that! You are not a failure! Hey, we all contributed to our failed marriages - I take 50% responsibility for our marriage getting to the point where WW was unhappy, but I take 0% responsibility for her decision to bring another man into our relationship instead of trying to fix what was wrong.
You and I and many, many others here made a lot of mistakes in our relationships, but we have learned and are better for it. That's not failure, that's progress!
And STOP checking her FB page! It will only trigger bad stuff, as you found out.
Thanks Linus. I do get the DivorceCare daily emails and according to them, its a normal feeling after divorce. I will get over it tho. But you are right, its not failure its progress.
I also believe, or maybe just trying to convice myself, based on her history, that it wouldn't have mattered what I did or didn't do. WxW is a serial cheater and this has been her pattern her entire life. She HAS to have a second secret life. Her entire family has a wayward mindset, yet proclaim they are Christians, especially her brother. Her mom just enables her by looking the other way.
As far as revenge on the OM.....she will be my revenge....guaranteed!
Yeah I'm staying off facebook. My taker wants me to destroy her life and I've got plenty of ammo to do it, but that just keeps me from letting go and moving on, which is my goal.
I am very lucky in some ways. I can move anywhere in the country and still work my same job as all I need is a high speed internet connection and a phone. Right now I'm in TN staying with my mom for a while. Not sure how long I can deal with that tho lol. I had my house refied and have the payment down to where it shouldn't be a problem anymore, however I will put it back up for sale beginning next month. My plan is to move to Knoxville to be closer to my mom so I can help her out when needed, and not have to live in that terrible county she lives in.
In the mean time, I will live part time in TN and part time in MO.
Thats always been my plan from the start of this. But apparently it wasn't God's will as he didn't start opening those doors for me until late last year. If he will provide a buyer for my house, then it is His will and I will be good to go!