Is This Normal? - 11/14/20 03:38 AM
I have pondered divorce for a while now but have never been sure if the root cause of my unhappiness is my relationship with my husband or with the stress of this time in our lives. We have three young children and we both have demanding careers which means very little time for fun. It’s all routines and every day feels like a repeat of the last.
When I think about our relationship, I don’t really feel anything. I don’t miss him when he’s gone and I’m not excited to see him when I get home from work. We’re very opposite in most ways and there is always friction between us on decisions big and small. I can’t say that I enjoy the intimacy either or that it really does much for me. I also find myself thinking of other men regularly, though I have never cheated and would never cheat. I want to feel like I’m on the same page with my partner, I want to light up when I see my partner and miss him when he is away. He is a great father and is also a dedicated husband - I know he loves me. This blah feeling isn’t what I envisioned for marriage but I don’t know if I’m just fantasizing about a mystical world of marriage that doesn’t exist in real life.
I don’t want to break our children with a divorce. It makes me sick to think about that. But I also don’t want to stay in a blah marriage and look back in the future and wish I had left.
Any advice?
When I think about our relationship, I don’t really feel anything. I don’t miss him when he’s gone and I’m not excited to see him when I get home from work. We’re very opposite in most ways and there is always friction between us on decisions big and small. I can’t say that I enjoy the intimacy either or that it really does much for me. I also find myself thinking of other men regularly, though I have never cheated and would never cheat. I want to feel like I’m on the same page with my partner, I want to light up when I see my partner and miss him when he is away. He is a great father and is also a dedicated husband - I know he loves me. This blah feeling isn’t what I envisioned for marriage but I don’t know if I’m just fantasizing about a mystical world of marriage that doesn’t exist in real life.
I don’t want to break our children with a divorce. It makes me sick to think about that. But I also don’t want to stay in a blah marriage and look back in the future and wish I had left.
Any advice?