Should I Move Back In? - 12/20/20 05:36 AM
Short version:
My wife of 4 years left me the day before Thanksgiving. She was preparing her exit strategy for about a month, and went to stay with a friend (girl) in Boston with no intention of returning. Before she left, I did catch her sexting a guy, but it was really early on and I told the guy's wife about it (I think I shut it down).
She planned to live up there permanently, but agreed to come home if I moved out. I consulted my pastor and my wife's father (he owns the house we live in. He is devastated that his daughter is doing all this), and they both agreed that providing my wife with space might be a good idea.
It's been a month. My wife will not even acknowledge her infidelity, says she is done with the marriage, and will not seek counseling. I don't think she is still having an affair, as she had no one to pick her up from the airport (except me) and is planning to spend Christmas with her aunt.
I am willing to give space and work on myself if it means saving my marriage, but it sounds like many here disagree with my pastor and father in law, and instead think I should return home. I am concerned that she will be furious, and will just leave again, this time for good. We have no children.
I don't know what to do, but I recognize that I am emotionally devastated and the least qualified to make rational decisions at this point. Which is why I am relying on the guidance of people who share my goals and values when it comes to my marriage; but are they wrong?
My wife of 4 years left me the day before Thanksgiving. She was preparing her exit strategy for about a month, and went to stay with a friend (girl) in Boston with no intention of returning. Before she left, I did catch her sexting a guy, but it was really early on and I told the guy's wife about it (I think I shut it down).
She planned to live up there permanently, but agreed to come home if I moved out. I consulted my pastor and my wife's father (he owns the house we live in. He is devastated that his daughter is doing all this), and they both agreed that providing my wife with space might be a good idea.
It's been a month. My wife will not even acknowledge her infidelity, says she is done with the marriage, and will not seek counseling. I don't think she is still having an affair, as she had no one to pick her up from the airport (except me) and is planning to spend Christmas with her aunt.
I am willing to give space and work on myself if it means saving my marriage, but it sounds like many here disagree with my pastor and father in law, and instead think I should return home. I am concerned that she will be furious, and will just leave again, this time for good. We have no children.
I don't know what to do, but I recognize that I am emotionally devastated and the least qualified to make rational decisions at this point. Which is why I am relying on the guidance of people who share my goals and values when it comes to my marriage; but are they wrong?