Well,that's all she wrote.....<P> I'm officially a member of the MBPS Club.<BR> That's the Marriage Builders Permanently Single Club.At least,that's how I feel right now,anyways.<BR> <BR> I went into court,and it was over real quick.She never showed.You think they'd make them at least show up,and look you in the eye while you're getting divorced.Not in this state.<P> At least I gave it almost 2 years,so I tried.But during that time,I lost whatever love I had.She changed,she wasn't coming back,and I accepted that.Time to move on.<BR>Not sure how long I'll stay on the board,now that I'm single.Maybe just to chat.<P> And that's all I got to say about that.....<P><BR> ~~Murph <BR>

Hey Murphy,<BR> It really does not seem fair that they can avoid the marriage, and avoid the divorce toodoes it? Does anyone have to be there? I'm sorry that your marriage is over, maybe now you an really get on with the healing.<P>You must stick around tho, maybe you should ask for a new board for the MBPS. I am sure alot of us feel that way. Certainly doesn't seem worth the hassle at this point. Of course there are a few things I certainly miss.....<P>Beautiful day hum? I got out early, put waterproofing on the deck and got started with fall cleanup. Now don't get any ideas, I still have lots to keep me busy around here. H is moving out on Wed. So I guess i am on my own.<BR>Lora

Hey Murph,<P>Sorry to hear that buddy. I hope ya stick around with us all yet.<P>Looks like I'll be next. I run to the mail box every day hoping the final decree is there. I have a bottle of champagne ready for the occation.<P>I look at it this way, I use the betrayers principle as well. I remember all the bad and all the lies she told me. Why would I want someone like that back. To do me again without the courtesy of a reach around. I don't think so.<P>The love I have for Val is gone. The girl I married is dead.<P>I will definately get married again. Threes the charm. <P>Take care of you, Bud.<P>Zippy

Hey Murph,<P>I still feel numb.....it's been 11 days, 3 hrs and 19 minutes for me...not that all I've done is count them. I know what you mean about the short amount of time it takes too. That's what I meant when I said it was just, BOOM, it's over. My X signed a joinder so he didn't have to appear in court either...just as well, really. I didn't need to have him see me try to hold back the tears while I was having to say to the judge, yeah - the marriage is 'irretrievably broken.'<P>You know what though? This place is helping me to get over that bridge. I can go somewhere and vent, or giggle, or ROTFLMAO, or cry......and you've been there to help me even if you didn't know that you were. I thank you. I don't cry every night anymore <P>Luv ya babe,<P>Bridget

Hey Murph,<P>Don't even think about going anywhere! Who else will keep the mega thread going with me?? <P>You tried for almost 2 years and can now walk away with no regrets. <P>(((((HUGS)))))<BR>Mitzi

Murph,<BR>Sucks raw eggs doesn't it. I'm like Medic, I've bought into all her bad time stories too, my x's, not his stbx, and that has helped me alot to get through things.<P>Please hang around.<P>God bless,<P>Bob

Thanks,Gang<P> Lora,<BR> Maybe we can share some yardwork.<BR> I'll mow your lawn,and you can prune my hedge,bushes,trees,rake leaves,clean the gutters,chop firewood,clean the hot tub,etc,etc,....... <P> Zip,<BR> Yeah,the girl I married is dead,too.That's the only way I can accept it.Not sure if I want to get married again,though.... <P> Bridget,<BR> Glad to help.That's what I'm here for.<BR> And you thought I was just here to hit on Jodie! <P> Jodie,<BR> Now that I'm single,what do you say you and me go....... <P> Bob,<BR> Ok,I'll hang around if you insist.<BR> It does suck raw eggs...... <P> <BR> ~~Murph

Hey Murph,<P>You better not be going anywhere,<BR>How would I get my laughs from reading you and Mitz's posts! Not to mention the Ice-cream. <P>Don't worry too much about the getting re-married stuff.Enjoy your freedom.<BR>Come and go as you please,leave the dishes in the sink,having those socks just lay there on the bedroom floor! <P>You get the picture! <P>Here is a cyber hug<P>((((( Murphy ))))))))<P>(now if only I knew your real name I could have given the real Murph,that cyber hug.) <BR>LOL LOL LOL LOL <P>Take it easy and Hang in there buddy!<P>Gina <P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Murph, <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>]<p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited September 12, 2000).]

{{{{{{{{{Murph}}}}}}}}}}<P>When I get there, we'll go out and get drunk... on me. Then we'll take pics of our x's up on the needle.... fold them into airplanes (or rocks ) and let them fly.<P>Hey, there is no reason for you to leave... my D has been final for almost 7 months, and I'm still here. <P>Here, we didn't even go to court.... my lawyer took the papers to the judge and dropped them off. I got a phone call.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Murph/Mel/YG}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>B

Murph,<P>Only 9 more days until mine should be final.<P>Do I get free membership in the club??<P>Jodie

Hey Murph... <P>You need those smiles...<P>I'll be joining you in just 4 weeks time.<BR>I wish I weren't... but it will happen.<P>Give yourself some time...<BR>...and you will heal!<BR>...you've done alot of healing already!<P> <P>Jim

Hey Murph, Dr. Phil Mcgraw says you must EARN your way out of a marriage.<P>Doing whatever you can to save it. If you've truly done that , THEN you can move on ...<BR>Well It seems to me YOU'VE earned it big time!!!<P>So keep coming back here to help those of us that are still trying to EARN our way out...if we're not fortunate enough to recover from all of this..<BR>Best Wishes

Murph, <BR>I have been divorced for almost 10 months now, and I am still around!! <BR>Stay and post...I feel this board is for any of us who are going through a divorce or already divorced. The topics are diverse here, and when I have something to contribute, I do. If I don't, or it doesn't fit the place I am, then I don't. <BR>The most important thing is that we learn and grow. MB is a great place to do that. <BR>If you ever do want another relatonship, how neat would it be if you could use what you have learned here to make it the best it can be???<P>------------------<BR>Susan

I am so sorry that things didn't work out the way you had wished. I'm sure you did your best but sometimes people change. I know the man I married died - though it wasn't a physical death. It was spiritual or emotional. <P>It's been a long time since we went to court. And I remember thinking at the time that it was the saddest but yet one of the happiest days of my life. I felt like the apostle Paul wrote, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."<P>I do hope you'll stay with us. We like you here. Besides, it may do you some good. A lot of us need your words of encouragement. And a lot of us might have some things to say which might be helpful for you. Even though it's been a fairly long time since I went to court, I know I still have lots of things about my divorce I need to work on. I, personally, have found some things here that helped me over bumps in the road.<P>Stay until at least January and my hottub party. We need more men!! Gina, Dana, Butterfly, Mitzi, Tom, and I will be there. There will be others. You wouldn't want to miss the fun. <P>I have a friend who is a singer/songwrter who has a song with a line about "one last cloud that just won't rain." Even though I am happier than I have been in years, I think that surviving a divorce sort of leaves you with that one last cloud. This place could be a great umbrella.<P>Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.<P>-- Jane-Elise

Murph,<BR>uh,oh. Butterfly said the drinks were "on her". Well, I don't have the rack that she does , but I bet I could fit a couple of drinks on my bubble butt. Kinda like Jennifer Lopez. <P>Hey, maybe you two could hold a little MB ceremony for all of us. I'm not in favor of polluting, but maybe just this once? The Needle is so cool. Maybe we could start the "Fly it off the Needle" thread. We could post one or two lines, something inspirational about our new life or a special motto, one of you can print it out, then sail it off the Needle for us. <P>I'm sorry about it being final. My ex didn't want me to show up at court. He didn't want a "fuss". Of course, he set the divorce date for the day before our anniversary. Also about a month after my mom was diagnosed with cancer. It is pretty disgusting how easy it is.<P>I'm right with you about the never getting married again thing, but hey, I just heard Gloria Steinem got married. First time at age 61. So, you never know. If there is hope for a die-hard feminist like her, maybe there is hope for me (another die-hard feminist ya know).<BR>

{{{{{{{{{{{{{MURPHY}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I can't say I know how you feel, but in two weeks, you can tell me, you know how I will feel.<P>Know that your presence here has helped a great deal of people. Try not to leave us just yet. If anything, keep up with the new friends you've made. Thats what I'm trying to do right now myself.<P>I'm too drained to read many new things right now, but I always check for my friends who helped me in times when I really had no where else to turn.<P>Your a great person. You tried your best. You can look ahead to the future now. You WILL go on to bigger and better things!<P> <P>Dana<BR>

Thanks,Gang....<P> Gina(CGF)<BR> Chris(You won)<BR> Butterfly(See ya around)<BR> Mitz(Join the Club,JF)<BR> NSR(Still smiling )<BR> Tyra(I earned it)<BR> Sue(You haveta stay,too)<BR> Jane(MORE men? )<BR> Student(BubbleButt!)<BR> Dana(Hang in there...)<P><BR> ~~Murph

Murphy,<P>Haven't been around much........sorry to see your post.<P>I guess the thing I realized after the divorce.....well maybe even before the divorce was finalized is that I have felt divorced for over a year. He was completely out of my life for so long that signing those papers was just a formality.<P>I found out that this isn't really so bad. All those tears, those sleepless nights, the bags under my eyes......what where they for? <P>I don't cry anymore, haven't in a long time. I accepted this divorce long before it happened. I have healed and it sounds like you have too.<P>Now comes our new life......and I sure hope and pray that it is now "our" turn to find the happiness we deserve.<P>Nancy

Hey Murph,<BR>You can make me an official member of the MBPS club. Although, I'll have to tell you that being a born-again-virgin is tougher than a real one. At least a real one doesn't know what they are missing <BR>

Nancy,<P> Haven't seen you around much.<BR> I hope things are going Ok for you.<BR> <BR>I felt the same way about the divorce,too,just a formality.I haven't seen her in months.It looks like she blew that"two year timeframe"out of the water.Besides,it's over,I'd never take her back now.I'd rather be alone than see her again.<P> Some advice--Don't try to find happiness,it'll only make you miserable.<BR>Happiness can only come from within.<P><BR> Hey Student,<P> If you want to become an official member of the MBPS Club,you'll have to fill out a form.<BR> I'll send you one.<P> And your address is,............??<P><BR> ~~Murph <p>[This message has been edited by Murphy (edited September 21, 2000).]

You could send it to my college, c/o TheStudent. Heck, there are only about 20,000 students here <P>Let's see...What "big,important" engineering school resides in Atlanta. Hmmm.

Hey Student,<P> Just a wild guess.<P> Could it be the Georgia Institute of Technology?.......<P><BR> ~~Murph

murph,<P>BUSTED!! And if you see a 5'10" good looking, trim man in his 50's, wearing a GaTech sweatshirt, wandering around the shop floor that would be my dad. Oh, not that you would LOOK or anything, but he and I do have something in common. Yes, the "dreaded" Swedish BB. That would be the clincher.

Murph,<P>Your right again. I really am happy. It seems like it has been so long since I have felt this way.<P>This happiness came from within. I have no one to thank, but that little voice inside my head that has been trying to tell me this for so long.<P>It is so true.......I remember hearing my ex telling me that "I" made him miserable, unhappy and he needed to search elsewhere for "his" happiness. When all along it was right there inside of him. He made himself miserable and will be for the rest of his life.<P>I do deserve the happiness I feel. We all do. And maybe someday in the future I will share all of this happiness with someone else again.<P>I am fine.....thanks for asking. My custody hearing is approaching quickly. With no attorney, I am some what scared.....but I will fight and use everything I have in my power to once and for all make the judge see who the real "mental" person is.<P>I am sick and tired of hearing about how I am this emotionally unbalanced person. And if I am.......I sure have adapted pretty damn well.<P><BR>Nancy