Hey JL!!<P>Yes, it has been a long time... and yes, the marriage is over- haven't signed the papers yet but I am in no hurry. I even am starting dating again (so technically right now I am a married man with an affair- lol).<P>It still hurts though, and I hope that BIET (kinda like this name better) can some day come in terms with his new situation.<P>BIET: there are very few things that I can advise; I read your posts and I see the same language that I used, the same insecurities, the same fears, the same hope; it doesn't really matter if we are good or bad looking, tall or short, thin or fat, if we have strong or weak muscles: been betrayed makes us feel devaluated, worthless to certain degree and hopeless… been left for someone of the same sex than the spouse also makes us feel very confused and frustrated because we KNOW that in most cases for the spouse there is no turning back. Also after months of thinking and <B>remembering old lessons</B> I have come to realize that there is little advise I can give; <B>the answers are YOUR answers, the REAL answer is within, not without</B> but don't travel this journey alone- get counseling form a professional, being this a priest, a sociologist, a psychiatrist, they'll help you understand YOUR feelings and YOU will find the right answers (and no, it doesn't really matter if the counselor is male or female as long as he/she makes you feel comfortable, if is a good listener and a patient & compassionate human being.<P>Take care of your self, BIET, don't think too much, let your positive feelings flow…<P>
Alex<P>PS: JL, I hope you are doing fine.<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>