Old timer needs advice on PECULIAR new situation! Any lawyers? - 11/12/05 05:15 PM
My H and I have fought with OW for five years to finally get a custody and visitation agreement through the courts. About eight months ago OW finally agreed, and our visitation schedule was every other weekend and every Weds night plus two weeks in the summer. Well...
Early last month OC said she wanted to go to school with our daughter and spend more time here in our home. OW agreed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> and registered OC into our elementary school, listing our home address and OC now stays with us 50% of the time. This new schedule and responsibility for OC's education is insanely time consuming and sometimes confusing....but worth getting to see her more.
Here's the problem: OW is not a very responsible parent. She lives in a two bedroom apartment that looks like a dumpster, OC does not even have a bed to sleep in, and OW has not been good about getting OC to school or getting OC to do her homework. We just had OC's teacher conference and she is seriously, seriously behind our other daughter in her skills and all talks with OW to rectify the situation fall on dead ears. OW does not want us to notify the court of the changes in the visitation or school because OW is on TANF and her benefits would be taken away. I feel that since OW signed all the paperwork to register her in our elementary listing our address, that the courts might see that as OW giving us "joint" custody, both legally and physically. I am trying to convince my H to file a request for modification with the court, but he's afraid to upset OW and cause another meltdown.
Right now our schedule is this: We get OC for two overnights, OW gets her for five overnights, We get her for five overnights, OW gets her for two overnights and all over again.....Confused, yet? I AM! I can't keep any of this straight. It would be easier on everyone if OC were with us during the school week while attending this school, and went to OW's house on weekends. But OW is "afraid OC will not deal well with being away from mommy so much" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I'll tell you, OC adjusts just fine, it's OW that can't adjust. So, we're keeping this insane schedule to soothe OW. I can't stand it. I've got three other children.....it's hard enough to stay on top of homework, feild trips, days off, and appointments without having to worry about whether or not I can remember which days OC is supposed to be here!
We've had the current schedule since Oct 21st, OW has kept her home from school twice because OC was "emotional" or "tired" and has only gotten her to school on time three days, not to mention OW keeps forgetting to have OC turn in her homework, does not transfer vital school items back and forth, and doesn't work on anything with OC (like alphabet, sounds, and number recognition). What should we do to make this situation better for everyone??
Early last month OC said she wanted to go to school with our daughter and spend more time here in our home. OW agreed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> and registered OC into our elementary school, listing our home address and OC now stays with us 50% of the time. This new schedule and responsibility for OC's education is insanely time consuming and sometimes confusing....but worth getting to see her more.
Here's the problem: OW is not a very responsible parent. She lives in a two bedroom apartment that looks like a dumpster, OC does not even have a bed to sleep in, and OW has not been good about getting OC to school or getting OC to do her homework. We just had OC's teacher conference and she is seriously, seriously behind our other daughter in her skills and all talks with OW to rectify the situation fall on dead ears. OW does not want us to notify the court of the changes in the visitation or school because OW is on TANF and her benefits would be taken away. I feel that since OW signed all the paperwork to register her in our elementary listing our address, that the courts might see that as OW giving us "joint" custody, both legally and physically. I am trying to convince my H to file a request for modification with the court, but he's afraid to upset OW and cause another meltdown.
Right now our schedule is this: We get OC for two overnights, OW gets her for five overnights, We get her for five overnights, OW gets her for two overnights and all over again.....Confused, yet? I AM! I can't keep any of this straight. It would be easier on everyone if OC were with us during the school week while attending this school, and went to OW's house on weekends. But OW is "afraid OC will not deal well with being away from mommy so much" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I'll tell you, OC adjusts just fine, it's OW that can't adjust. So, we're keeping this insane schedule to soothe OW. I can't stand it. I've got three other children.....it's hard enough to stay on top of homework, feild trips, days off, and appointments without having to worry about whether or not I can remember which days OC is supposed to be here!
We've had the current schedule since Oct 21st, OW has kept her home from school twice because OC was "emotional" or "tired" and has only gotten her to school on time three days, not to mention OW keeps forgetting to have OC turn in her homework, does not transfer vital school items back and forth, and doesn't work on anything with OC (like alphabet, sounds, and number recognition). What should we do to make this situation better for everyone??