no futher contact right now...but how to keep it open in the future??? feedback pls - 05/14/03 02:28 AM
I think my H and I are pretty clear on no contact from now on. We tried...too much stress on our marriage and we're not trying to take on extra, especially now since he's deployed.
So, how to walk away and allow lil lady the opportunity and promise of a relationship with her dad and step mom?
Well here are some thoughts that came to mind last night...thought I'd run them by you all.
1. As far as cs, it is about 30% over the amount of day care. So, should or could my H request that any amount over a certain percentage beyond day care/food, be set aside for college. Sort of like a savings account for college. Not an IRA, xow won’t get yet another tax break off my H’s money. I say this because she seems to keep the pattern of only working when convenient. Not keeping a job on a regular basis. No way she can save for college and help make ends meet and keep a roof over her own child’s head. She can’t do it, and hasn’t been able to do it since the baby was born almost three years ago.
2. As far as medical coverage, he could request that she be placed under his medical coverage until her mom proves she can remain employed for at least 365 days. Afterwards, she can choose whatever coverage she wants.
3. Most importantly, future contact. I hope my H has a desire to bring closure to this chapter. I hope he decides to find a way to communicate to his daughter that when she’s old enough to maintain a relationship with her mom’s family AND her dad’s family, that she’s welcomed in our lives and in our home. She could potentially be faced with dealing with an absentee dad. Would paving the bridge this way make her decision to contact in the future more easy? Would she be more inclined to contact him and want to get to know him and her brothers and sisters? Or would she just see him as a paycheck and think the ‘invitation’ is insincere?
So, how to walk away and allow lil lady the opportunity and promise of a relationship with her dad and step mom?
Well here are some thoughts that came to mind last night...thought I'd run them by you all.
1. As far as cs, it is about 30% over the amount of day care. So, should or could my H request that any amount over a certain percentage beyond day care/food, be set aside for college. Sort of like a savings account for college. Not an IRA, xow won’t get yet another tax break off my H’s money. I say this because she seems to keep the pattern of only working when convenient. Not keeping a job on a regular basis. No way she can save for college and help make ends meet and keep a roof over her own child’s head. She can’t do it, and hasn’t been able to do it since the baby was born almost three years ago.
2. As far as medical coverage, he could request that she be placed under his medical coverage until her mom proves she can remain employed for at least 365 days. Afterwards, she can choose whatever coverage she wants.
3. Most importantly, future contact. I hope my H has a desire to bring closure to this chapter. I hope he decides to find a way to communicate to his daughter that when she’s old enough to maintain a relationship with her mom’s family AND her dad’s family, that she’s welcomed in our lives and in our home. She could potentially be faced with dealing with an absentee dad. Would paving the bridge this way make her decision to contact in the future more easy? Would she be more inclined to contact him and want to get to know him and her brothers and sisters? Or would she just see him as a paycheck and think the ‘invitation’ is insincere?