Do I have any hope ? - 05/21/10 06:46 PM
I have been writing on another post since this began. I spend countless hours trying to figure out what to do and why this is happening and how I can turn it around.
I didnt blow the lid off the affair with his family and friends when the A was exposed but I thought we were going to work it out. I thought I could spare the rest of the people who love him the pain. obviously, I was wrong!
When he left it became obvious to his family and mine that something wasnt right. Even though we live in a different town we have family get togethers often and when he didnt show up to the last one questions were inevitable. Rumors and gossip has spread to friends and before we knew it friends in our home town had heard the gossip.
Now, he has filed a petition for divorce. That is all that has been done at this point but he calls every other week to ask have I sign the "acknowledgment" and filed it yet. As soon as I hear that my world falls apart all over again.
I have gotten advice to focus on myself and to focus on me and my kids. I am doing my best.
But, he and I are planning to talk soon and I will have the opportunity to be show him that things for us can be different. Changes can be made and we can find a way to work this out.
Mothers Day came and he showed up with a hug and a Mothers Day Card. We all went to grandparents house for the day. We all spent the day together almost as if nothing happened. He offered to come by and make some repairs around the house. When we all got back to the house he had come by but was locked out. I think it made him mad. The next day he sent me a message asking about the D papers.
We have talked several times since then on the phone. Mostly, I talk. He listens. I realize that I cant change his mind. I just want the opportunity to help him see our lives can be better than ever if he would just learn from this as I have. I think this happening has given us the opportunity to make our marriage better than ever. To learn things about each other and be so much happier than before.
Do I have any hope? Everyone was so right that he was eventually going to leave me. He did!!! He sneaked out just like he did the first time. He hid where he was staying for a couple of months. He called and took me to lunch and dinner but after a couple of months sneaked into my house again and left Divorce papers.
He isnt seeing her. She is seriously seeing another man. I dont know if he is still waiting on her but I suspect that is the case.
What do I do? If I give up and dont have anything to do with him I am afraid I will never have the chance again.
How do I handle this that will lead me to the best chance for him to come back to his senses. TO open his eyes and see what he is leaving? He may not come back. Probably wont unless I make the necessary steps.
The Plan B involves complete distance? No contact? Should I just let my lawyer handle everything and whatever tactics necessary to get what I need as a settlement. He has threatened to "expose" things about me that I will have to explain to his family and mine and the kids. There is nothing that he could say that would compare to his A but goodness knows what he would be capable of if my lawyer embarrasses him and reveals all the "nasty" A for all to see. I dont want to hurt him anyway.
Just need some advice from some that may have been here. Do I just give up and cut my losses or is there a chance still left that I will ever see my husband again?
I didnt blow the lid off the affair with his family and friends when the A was exposed but I thought we were going to work it out. I thought I could spare the rest of the people who love him the pain. obviously, I was wrong!
When he left it became obvious to his family and mine that something wasnt right. Even though we live in a different town we have family get togethers often and when he didnt show up to the last one questions were inevitable. Rumors and gossip has spread to friends and before we knew it friends in our home town had heard the gossip.
Now, he has filed a petition for divorce. That is all that has been done at this point but he calls every other week to ask have I sign the "acknowledgment" and filed it yet. As soon as I hear that my world falls apart all over again.
I have gotten advice to focus on myself and to focus on me and my kids. I am doing my best.
But, he and I are planning to talk soon and I will have the opportunity to be show him that things for us can be different. Changes can be made and we can find a way to work this out.
Mothers Day came and he showed up with a hug and a Mothers Day Card. We all went to grandparents house for the day. We all spent the day together almost as if nothing happened. He offered to come by and make some repairs around the house. When we all got back to the house he had come by but was locked out. I think it made him mad. The next day he sent me a message asking about the D papers.
We have talked several times since then on the phone. Mostly, I talk. He listens. I realize that I cant change his mind. I just want the opportunity to help him see our lives can be better than ever if he would just learn from this as I have. I think this happening has given us the opportunity to make our marriage better than ever. To learn things about each other and be so much happier than before.
Do I have any hope? Everyone was so right that he was eventually going to leave me. He did!!! He sneaked out just like he did the first time. He hid where he was staying for a couple of months. He called and took me to lunch and dinner but after a couple of months sneaked into my house again and left Divorce papers.
He isnt seeing her. She is seriously seeing another man. I dont know if he is still waiting on her but I suspect that is the case.
What do I do? If I give up and dont have anything to do with him I am afraid I will never have the chance again.
How do I handle this that will lead me to the best chance for him to come back to his senses. TO open his eyes and see what he is leaving? He may not come back. Probably wont unless I make the necessary steps.
The Plan B involves complete distance? No contact? Should I just let my lawyer handle everything and whatever tactics necessary to get what I need as a settlement. He has threatened to "expose" things about me that I will have to explain to his family and mine and the kids. There is nothing that he could say that would compare to his A but goodness knows what he would be capable of if my lawyer embarrasses him and reveals all the "nasty" A for all to see. I dont want to hurt him anyway.
Just need some advice from some that may have been here. Do I just give up and cut my losses or is there a chance still left that I will ever see my husband again?