HI there, and welcome to MB.

I was just reading over the 27 posts you have made in the last 4 days, and noted this:

was the only piece of info you have provided about yourself. I also noted that while you have a modicum of understanding of MB, much of your 'advice' is not MB, and in fact on 3 occasions lead you to being edited.

Please, feel free to use this thread to let us know more about you and what lead you to MB.

Lil

i'm entp, of course i've been edited. lol my fww had an a. we have restored our marriage recently and i happened onto this site to hopefully help others in the same situation. its not just about recovering from infidelity, it going deep into ourselves for better self awareness. Then you are better than even pre-a.

prd

Have you read all of the material on THIS site? Do you have any questions about how to use these materials in your own marriage? Are you currently implementing any of the MB material in your own marriage?

BTW, since entp is not an MB term(as far as I know) what does it mean?

Well, I dont know what entp means, I gather its one of those personality disorder things


How very true. There just seems to be a bit of a discrepancy between your 'advice' and what Dr W. Harley (owner of the MB site) advises. I wonder if you have read any of the 10 basic facts, something recommended at the top of each page



If you do that, you might find that your advice to others will not only be more in keeping with what MB endeavours to accomplish, you might also find yourself being edited less too LOL

have you ever taken myers-briggs? how can you work on your marriage if you dont understand yourself? my fww and i have an amazing marriage now. we use mb type principles in conjunction with an intense and deep understanding of one's self.

prd

My marriage is just fine and dandy thanks, with or without knowing what kind of nutso personality I have.(I suspect many)

All I need to know is how to make my DH happy, how to make me happy and how to have a good life.

Have you read any of the Harley literature??

I have learned A LOT about myself in these past 7.5 months. All of these things I have learned through MB principals and concepts. I do not need to know what kind of personality trait I have or my WH has to understand that these concepts WORK. I am sure that there are many people on this forum, who have recovered their marriages, using MB, and they fall into certain personality traits that shouldn't be with each other. As MelodyLane pointed out to you on a previous thread, MB CREATES compatibility.

I hope you find your time at MB as rewarding as I have.

i'm certain you and your hubby are great. i am actually much better than i was even pre-a. Just trying to help others get there.

prd

My DH and I have an amazing marriage now. We use MB principles, and dont worry about one's self.

Awesome goal.

Have you read any of the Harley literature??

i'm glad for you. you are very convincing and i'm sure you've learned everything you need to get to such a euphoric relationship with your spouse. congrats!

prd

Still learning everyday, MB has a lot to offer.

So what 'type' principles are you applying?

Pale:

Welcome to the DB.

We have lots of folks who drop by, look around, and decide to hang out a bit.

Shake the dust of the trail off a bit, I guess.

Sometimes, though, to hang out, someone will ask what your story is.

Someone has.

And you responded with two or three lines.

Well. Nothing WRONG with that. Maybe your just not that talkative. Maybe you hate to type.

Very few hang around for long without revealing much more about themselves. You can read all day if you want, and learn alot that way. You can talk all you want about Myers-Briggs, but it doesn't steep you at all in MB concepts.

Some folks around here have saved thier marriages, and, by extention, some haved saved their sanity and lives becasue of this site. This site is free to read and to post, but the information is so valuable, that it transcends just your normal daily chat board.

When I see somebody who has been here along time, and knows the MB Principles, and has been to through the wringer, call out a new poster to talk a little bit about thier sitch, and they only get some lip service, I get concerned. I get concerned because the new poster may feel a little offended, and I want as many people to be here to get help as well as to help. And when your asked to reveal something about yourself, its to find out how you tick. When we get a blank slate, we tend to wonder.

This does not require you to post your entire life story. Or to repeat your life story. Folks remember. You can put something up that reveals enough so that others understand you better. And when you post some advice, if it is contrary to MB principles, then you can be guided to a source, and how to learn more about that part of MB.

This isn't like "Animal Farm" where some feel that they are "more equal" We are all equal here, and peers. You can join all of us as peers in a matter of days if you learn quickly. Or never. There are plenty who linger but never post. Just be sure to try and address any advice you provide using the MB concepts. If you have alot of experience in other methods, there is no problem with presenting that info, but please try to establish SOME credibility with it at first, ok?

LG

Just a reminder that the purpose of this forum to learn and discuss Marriage Builders. If you can help newcomers in this respect, feel free to post. If not, please refrain from posting to newcomers.

Any questions, shoot me an email.

agreed and thank you for your post. I'm fairly certain that i will not say anything that contradicts mb, just compliments it like myers-briggs. knowing your tendencies is vital to any relationship. its not an either or situation.

prd

Lil, he also added this nugget below indicating that HE was also a WH with an OW. Might be a revenge affair situation just like the former annoying no-so-bright poster he so much reminds me of, Dude.

What a coincidence they both have "Dude" in their names.



Dude, it seems to me you could disguise yourself a little better than this.

PaleriderDUDE....Really.

FAIL

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - btw, I'm an Aries

I am fairly certain that is not Marriage Builder's material, so I would strongly advise you refrain from posting it.

Dude!!!! I miss DUDE!!!

Mr. W, I'm not so sure... Dude v. 1.0 would be way more entertaining than this!

He's "pale"...

maybe he's anemic and thus, lacks the strength to entertain

Mr. W

i agree!

i wish i understood your references to this dude gentleman, but yet i am just a drifting preacher man passing through your lil community.

prd

Preacher???

Are you familiar with the book of dude?

It says:

Revenge Affairs work better than MB and are a whole lot more fun. Dude 13:69


Mr. Wondering

wow. this chap you speak of seems to have made a lasting impression on you. is he still married?

prd

So, Pale, what did lead you to MB? I think we still don't know.

What Marriage Builders books do you have?

well. like i said, i'm just passing through sharing what i learned from my sitch. i have his needs her needs.

prd

Most schools are out, and we get an influx of this type of thing every summer. Do we really have time for teenaged nonsense?

how old do you think i am? is it my mystique that intrigues you to post like that?

prd

And what led you to that book, which is part of the Marriage Builders program?

Have you read the Basic Concepts from the top of the site?

Reminds me very much of a poster from a few years back...think his user name was TheSenator or Senator or something with Senator in it.....

Brit's Brat, it was Senator H, and I do agree that his posts are somewhat similar; however, I don't think that the very rigid Senator H would ever come up with a user name like Paleriderdude. LOL!

Paleriderdude, every year we get a high school/college kid or two trolling the boards, posting a bunch of junk. You think you have mystique? Is that what you think you're using in order try to impress us? LOL!

I don't think anyone here is impressed at all!

I think what makes me giggle most are the posters who come on for brief snippets of time and assume all of us on here are high school drop outs who need to be graced with their insights and "tools" the others wouldn't know about such as Myers-Briggs. What they don't know from not having been on the Board long enough is that we are true mix of society. Yes, there are those of us who may be high school drop outs who never heard of Myers-Briggs. There are still others who are highly educated doctors, lawyers, psychologists,engineers, senior executives at major corporations, PhD's, professors at institutes of higher learning.

Confucius say: "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

just a preacher man with insightful life experiences like many of you.

prd

Seriously, anyone banging their head against a wall yet? Why bother/enable?

prd, you remind me a guy I dated once. Not a very mature guy.....he thought he was really funny but in fact people were laughing AT him, not with him (we didn't date long lol). You amuse me.

All the best with your Myer-Briggs. Brush up on your MB principles though, then you can REALLY knock the socks off people!

Prd ... what led you to His Needs Her Needs, which is part of the Marriage Builders program?

Have you read the Basic Concepts from the top of the site?

i will not respond in kind, i am the highway!

prd

Insight and advice carries weight when you understand the experiences that generated them. Telling HOW you got that experience, the processes that you went through, what you learned, all of these things give weight to your advice. That is why you've been asked to give your story. You've given the bare minimum which leads people to distrust your insights. The fact that you seem heavy on non-MB content and light on MB content further detracts from the quality and reliability of your advice when counselling those who are dealing with infidelity.

You say you're recovering from infidelity (though it's unclear if it's yours, your wife's, or both). However it doesn't seem like you did it the MB way. While that may be commendable- your path worked for you, that's fine, but has it worked for thousands?

That's what we're here to discuss. MB.

Your input has very little weight and may actually do more harm than good here because you refuse to detail what you know and how you learned it.

You're 'mystique' doesn't make you interesting, it just further detracts from your proposed purpose here: helping and providing insight.

FTR, I graduated HS and even attended University for Engineering and College for Computer Programming. I have not heard of Myers-Briggs. I find things when I need them and I keep things that are useful. I find MB to be extremely useful and I definitely needed it when I came here(still do).

I haven't been around long, but I HAVE been around long enough to have seen this a few times already. It is actually a DJ to assume that the people whom one is posting to is uneducated or needs to be taught what YOU know. I have learned much about human relations and the way people tick from reading the MB materials and this forum. I don't go to other forums and before this one, I had never posted on one before. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. MB works for me, so why do I need to go somewhere else? I will learn what I can and try to help others on their journey as well. That was what I was trying to accomplish with Pale. Maybe there was something that you needed help with or something you could teach me about the practical application in marriage of MB concepts.

You pretty much won't respond at all, which makes you one of the unkindest preachers I've ever met. Is there a reason you won't answer my polite questions:

What led you to His Needs Her Needs, which is part of the Marriage Builders program?

Have you read the Basic Concepts from the top of the site?

I'm with you Gdar! Didn't we just go through this with MaiMai? Except that prd is not being overtly disrespectful, just not encouraging MB.

It reminds me of talking to my son. I ask him a question, and I get "I dunno" and because he knows it gets my goat.

I have taken Myers-Briggs - twice, and so has my DH. We are opposites. So what? I am all for insight into one's personality, but using that type of test as a "this is how I am....so deal with it" approach to marriage is, quite frankly, a cop out. Because of my personality I tend to be a bit flighty, disorganized, and messy, but DS is one of my H's top needs. So guess what? I learned. Due to his personality, DH is not overly affectionate, and affection is one of my needs. So guess what? He needs to learn.

I have found people who focus on "personality types" tend to be very opposed to any change or action that leads them out of their comfort zones, so their "personalities" become a cloak for relational stubbornness.

And for the record, until you drop the forum gymnastics and just SHARE your story in some detail, the vets here, who have excellent crap-detectors, are going to continue to call you out. So you can be secretive, or you can share. But I don't think you are really obtuse enough NOT to understand that people want to know more about your background.

I seriously doubt this guy is a preacher, of the Word anyway. Having been a preacher's kid all my life and now married to one, I can say with almost certain knowledge, this kite won't fly.

I saw that Mr W, but it was actually a partial quote of a post made by someone with an X in their name (trixie?) cant remember sorry. If you go back a page from the orginal, you'll see it. My concern at that stage was it was someone posting anything to increase their post count, especially since of the earlier ones, most were just "I agree". Then there was a series of edits, then suddenly all very pro exposure.

She's got a goat!!!!

Beat that dude.

Mr. W

p.s.- you all are gr8 defending MB like this. 3 or 4 years ago trolls would last for weeks/months around here disturbing the heck out of every thread with their crap. Mentally ill (or at least challenged) posters, unmarried posters, unbetrayed posters with agenda's other than marriage building were given carte blanche to say whatever they wanted and not get called on it. There were far less marraige builders back then and way more people that thought all opinions were equal and valid. In fact THIS THREAD would have had posters backlashing at how mean and judgemental we all are. It warms my heart to see all you people on your games and taking this place as serious as we usually take it.

p.p.s. - I heard a rumor (don't know if it's true) that if you wanted to discover the secret to MaiMai's posts you need only write his poster name down on a piece of paper and hold it up to a mirror. If you haven't been here for a few years it won't make any sense to you so don't bother. Redrum...redrum.

You're right. He quoted txnatheart in full and added nothing new at all. mmmmm. Still think it's Dude or else he'd have pointed out that mistake pretty quick instead of just going with it.

Mr. W

How wonderful. My DH (Flick) comes from a long line of preachers, some lay preachers, some ordained. I am just not that fortunate, so had to learn the bible myself I have noticed that often during scripture study, I can actually read MB principles into the events. But I digress.

What led you to His Needs Her Needs, which is part of the Marriage Builders program? How did you apply it to your M? Do you have any comments on the book? I admit, it is my favourite out of the series.

Have you read the Basic Concepts from the top of the site? Just repeating this one because I have asked you several times and it seems to of have been overlooked.

[[[snicker]]]

The sixth (of nine) paragraph gracing each page of this forum (emphasis added):

Fred, good to see you. I was just thinking that I hadn't seen you in a while and I was gonna pop over to the D forum to check up on you. Hope all is well.

My story continues on that forum, Scotty. Thank for asking.

[/tj]

what exactly did i do to bring on this firestorm? noticed someone was an entp? let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.

prd

Refused to answer polite and reasonable questions.

PreacherDude, do you have a church?

What IS an entp person? What does "entp" stand for?

Dude....people asked you for your story and if you had read the Basic Concepts. You avoid answering. Hence the firestorm. We all have shared our stories on here.

Here's one for ya preacher man...

The "let he who is without sin, cast the first stone" incident is one of the most well-known lessons of the Bible. A woman, who had been caught in the act of adultery was brought to Jesus Christ by the scribes and Pharisees as a test to see if the Messiah was a liberal in matters of the Law of God. In response to their deceitful query, He didn't condemn the woman, not because He was a liberal, not because He condoned her sin, but because the men who brought the woman to Him were Hypocrites. He was the only person there that day who was free of sin, the only one who had the right to "cast the first stone." He didn't stone her (or her accusers), but instead forgave her and told her to "sin no more." Otherwise, the day wass coming when she, if she didn't thereafter repent, wouldn't be stoned, but would be burned - along with the hypocrites who brought her to Him that day, if they didn't thereafter repent of their sin.

I don't believe anyone questioning you is a hypocrite, just people who follow a programme and want to know who you are and why you are on MB, and in order to ascertain whether or not you are here as a helper or a hinderer.

There's another well known scripture in the bible..'be as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves'

The questions we are asking are far from a firestorm.

How about a little Johnny Cash:

Whats this tread about? Mmmmm, seems like another funny smiley thread to me...

He's not really a preacher. Dude's just fancying himself into the role of Clint Eastwood in the move Pale Rider, a reformed gun fighter preacher forced to put aside his righteousness to stand up and fight [righteously] for a small band of Christian gold miners against the forces of the man.

In this case...Dude's the righteous preacher on his pale horse and the collective we (or maybe justuss and the moderators) are the man subverting and perverting his misplaced right to freedome of speech on a PRIVATE forum.

Saddest thing is this is an adult man we are talking about here. Since it's an alias I presume he was banned and getting banned from here is about as mature a thing as getting kicked out of a funeral for laughing too much and then to sneak back in to poke at the family some more????

Mr. Wondering

Even if he was, he's not the only one who has READ the bible - all of it, not just the easily used to try and panic others into backing away with bits.

Prd, just answer the dang questions will ya?

bingo, Mr. W.

no, i think the dude you all are probably referring to is quite possibly happily married now, he might even have just got back from nappa valley with his beautiful bride? idk call me an optimist!

prd

And there you have it.

Sounds more and more like Dud(e) all the time.

He could have. But then instead of posting under a new alias and confusing people who could be in the worst pain of their lives, he would just say, "It's me! I am married and happy!"

re-married and happy would probably be the way he'd phrase it.

prd

Well, if his new marriage was perfect, he would never ever feel the need to be here, or so he said.

Look Around. Really Really Yell? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

This is like an old poster called Hu, and how he was his wife....

maybe its a refurbished marriage, not a "new" one? idk i'm merely speculating.

prd

AHA!!!

I can't think of anything else to say

yanno, if you talked/shared about you instead of speculating about dude, things like...IDK... umm.... MB and how it applies to you, instead of all this shilly-shallying about. we'd get off your case.

Frankly, my care factor has run out. I noted your odd postings, I called you out in an attempt to find out if your legit, your constant prancing round proves your not, and everyone has had it brought to their attention. If you post ANYTHING the slightest bit not MB ANYWHERE on the forum, expect to be shouted down.

Lil out!

I CAN'T HELP IT!!! I love you Dude! I have so missed your sick pompousness..... but a preacher??? That is stretching it even for you.

God's Blessings,

Say

shilly-shallying? I couldnt read anything after that.

i'm sure dude would say he loved you too!

prd

I so do not like people who will only kind of sort of admit the truth after much attention and teeth pulling. Dude, you were NEVER worth our time and right now you are taking away from people who need MB. I do hope though that your re-marriage succeeds and all your time spent here you LEARNED the MB concepts.

Maybe he's doing a more refined version of himself? I thought it was Dude, too!

Dang, I just started following this thread! Lemme read the rest - I mean, "preacher man"? "lil community"? This is too rich!

"i am the highway!" ?? Tell me this is as far as this flimsy prose goes! No, wait - don't tell me! Let me read the rest of the thread!

chris cornell. i'm entp and i rock!

prd

Yay! A new smiley thread!

lets do it to it!!!!!

prd

You do know that the admins are going to ban you again.

All they have to do is check your I.P. address.
This time instead of banning just your user name, they will probably ban the I.P.

You still impressing the ladys with your cool sports car?

<<crunch>> <<crunch>> passing popcorn around...

Gonna watch this one play out.

Hey...got an idea here.

Maybe we should get Mel on the scent of this one.

She busted mr anderson out of the water...maybe she can turn the tide on this one too.

committed

Watching Melody in action is like poetry!


That is what I get for staying away. I missed Mr. Anderson. I hate when I miss stuff!

Hey DUDE, I thought you said you would never remarry.

What happened?

i hear they only ban pretty people, so you should be safe.

prd

Mmm...thanks - could use a little more salt...

You wound me with your words sir!

So, why did you get remarried?

Have you learned anything?

So not true. The mods are equal opportunity tossers. Gay, straight, in school or out - they'll TOS just about anyone.