Insight and advice carries weight when you understand the experiences that generated them. Telling HOW you got that experience, the processes that you went through, what you learned, all of these things give weight to your advice. That is why you've been asked to give your story. You've given the bare minimum which leads people to distrust your insights. The fact that you seem heavy on non-MB content and light on MB content further detracts from the quality and reliability of your advice when counselling those who are dealing with infidelity.

You say you're recovering from infidelity (though it's unclear if it's yours, your wife's, or both). However it doesn't seem like you did it the MB way. While that may be commendable- your path worked for you, that's fine, but has it worked for thousands?

That's what we're here to discuss. MB.

Your input has very little weight and may actually do more harm than good here because you refuse to detail what you know and how you learned it.

You're 'mystique' doesn't make you interesting, it just further detracts from your proposed purpose here: helping and providing insight.

FTR, I graduated HS and even attended University for Engineering and College for Computer Programming. I have not heard of Myers-Briggs. I find things when I need them and I keep things that are useful. I find MB to be extremely useful and I definitely needed it when I came here(still do).

I haven't been around long, but I HAVE been around long enough to have seen this a few times already. It is actually a DJ to assume that the people whom one is posting to is uneducated or needs to be taught what YOU know. I have learned much about human relations and the way people tick from reading the MB materials and this forum. I don't go to other forums and before this one, I had never posted on one before. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. MB works for me, so why do I need to go somewhere else? I will learn what I can and try to help others on their journey as well. That was what I was trying to accomplish with Pale. Maybe there was something that you needed help with or something you could teach me about the practical application in marriage of MB concepts.

You pretty much won't respond at all, which makes you one of the unkindest preachers I've ever met. Is there a reason you won't answer my polite questions:

What led you to His Needs Her Needs, which is part of the Marriage Builders program?

Have you read the Basic Concepts from the top of the site?

I'm with you Gdar! Didn't we just go through this with MaiMai? Except that prd is not being overtly disrespectful, just not encouraging MB.

It reminds me of talking to my son. I ask him a question, and I get "I dunno" and because he knows it gets my goat.

I have taken Myers-Briggs - twice, and so has my DH. We are opposites. So what? I am all for insight into one's personality, but using that type of test as a "this is how I am....so deal with it" approach to marriage is, quite frankly, a cop out. Because of my personality I tend to be a bit flighty, disorganized, and messy, but DS is one of my H's top needs. So guess what? I learned. Due to his personality, DH is not overly affectionate, and affection is one of my needs. So guess what? He needs to learn.

I have found people who focus on "personality types" tend to be very opposed to any change or action that leads them out of their comfort zones, so their "personalities" become a cloak for relational stubbornness.

And for the record, until you drop the forum gymnastics and just SHARE your story in some detail, the vets here, who have excellent crap-detectors, are going to continue to call you out. So you can be secretive, or you can share. But I don't think you are really obtuse enough NOT to understand that people want to know more about your background.

I seriously doubt this guy is a preacher, of the Word anyway. Having been a preacher's kid all my life and now married to one, I can say with almost certain knowledge, this kite won't fly.

I saw that Mr W, but it was actually a partial quote of a post made by someone with an X in their name (trixie?) cant remember sorry. If you go back a page from the orginal, you'll see it. My concern at that stage was it was someone posting anything to increase their post count, especially since of the earlier ones, most were just "I agree". Then there was a series of edits, then suddenly all very pro exposure.

She's got a goat!!!!

Beat that dude.

Mr. W

p.s.- you all are gr8 defending MB like this. 3 or 4 years ago trolls would last for weeks/months around here disturbing the heck out of every thread with their crap. Mentally ill (or at least challenged) posters, unmarried posters, unbetrayed posters with agenda's other than marriage building were given carte blanche to say whatever they wanted and not get called on it. There were far less marraige builders back then and way more people that thought all opinions were equal and valid. In fact THIS THREAD would have had posters backlashing at how mean and judgemental we all are. It warms my heart to see all you people on your games and taking this place as serious as we usually take it.

p.p.s. - I heard a rumor (don't know if it's true) that if you wanted to discover the secret to MaiMai's posts you need only write his poster name down on a piece of paper and hold it up to a mirror. If you haven't been here for a few years it won't make any sense to you so don't bother. Redrum...redrum.

You're right. He quoted txnatheart in full and added nothing new at all. mmmmm. Still think it's Dude or else he'd have pointed out that mistake pretty quick instead of just going with it.

Mr. W

How wonderful. My DH (Flick) comes from a long line of preachers, some lay preachers, some ordained. I am just not that fortunate, so had to learn the bible myself I have noticed that often during scripture study, I can actually read MB principles into the events. But I digress.

What led you to His Needs Her Needs, which is part of the Marriage Builders program? How did you apply it to your M? Do you have any comments on the book? I admit, it is my favourite out of the series.

Have you read the Basic Concepts from the top of the site? Just repeating this one because I have asked you several times and it seems to of have been overlooked.

[[[snicker]]]

The sixth (of nine) paragraph gracing each page of this forum (emphasis added):

Fred, good to see you. I was just thinking that I hadn't seen you in a while and I was gonna pop over to the D forum to check up on you. Hope all is well.

My story continues on that forum, Scotty. Thank for asking.

[/tj]

what exactly did i do to bring on this firestorm? noticed someone was an entp? let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.

prd

Refused to answer polite and reasonable questions.

PreacherDude, do you have a church?

What IS an entp person? What does "entp" stand for?

Dude....people asked you for your story and if you had read the Basic Concepts. You avoid answering. Hence the firestorm. We all have shared our stories on here.