My situation - 07/19/10 01:50 AM
Hello to everyone. I discovered this website a couple of weeks ago and it has been an awesome source for information. Reading so many posts about others in my situation has been very helpful and reassuring to know that so many people are going through
or went through similar situations.
Me: 40 BH. Her 39 WW. Married for 10 yrs and together for 13. Two beautiful children ages 1 and 3. First marriage for both of us.
I confirmed that she was having an affair on 5/28. Prior to this the signs were all over for a week or two. I think she must have bought one of everything they sell at Victoria's Secret. The thought brings bile to the back of my throat. Silly me, I thought she was branching out and doing this for me. The real clincher was the bag I seen I the closet with lingerie and massage oil in it. Anyways, my suspicians were very high and she must have been in a hurry and left her password for her yahoo account on the screen. I discovered a folder with about 50 emails in it. Lots of flowery love letters and poetry. It felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. This was 5/28. The worst part is I know the OW. We all work in a close medical community. I called him and after a few verbal threats and then a little evidence he came clean and admitted the A. It started as an EA between co-workers and turned a little physical. I had him write an email to my wife ending the A because of a change of heart and recommitment to his family. She bought it for a few days. Apparently the OW's wife found a few texts on 6/1 and confronted him. He then confessed to my wife that I knew and she told me her side of the story on 6/1.
She said it was just an EA, but after some pushing by me admitted touching but no intercourse. Still hurts terribly though. She said it was over between them. Things went downhill. She bacame withdrawn, didn't want to be touched and very moody. Nice for a couple days and then very mean. She still seemed a little suspicious to me at times and was still secretive. Changing email address. Secretive with phone. I ended up putting a keylogger on the computer and discovered they had a hidden email account. The emails were toned down a bit but still innapropriately lovey and they did meet once for a few minutes in a strip mall lot.
We had an argument and she admitted to ongoing communications with him on 6/26. Come to find out his wife found some emails on their computer the same week-end. WW and OM both swear to not talk or see each other again. I made some threats to OW. I think he is scared now and his wife is monitoring him very closely.
I discovered this website around then. I should have done an exposure then but I didn't fully understand the importance of it at that time. Since then for past 2 1/2
weeks wife has been very moody with no affection towards me. Says she needs space
and time to sort things out. I told her she can have as much time as she needs and have been doing a Plan A on her.
She loves to try and reverse roles on me and make it look like I'm the bad guy for spying on her and that she can no longer trust me. Fog talk. No logic at all. Anyways WW and OM are employed at same place. He put his termination notice in for sept 30. WW is also looking for different job and hopefully will be able to leave sooner.
OM wife and I have talked a few times to share info. As of now WW will have nothing to do with home computer. She uses her smart phone for everything so I don't really have a way to monitor her. I ordered to real-time gps monitors, one for WW 's car and one for OM. I pretty much know both of their schedules and know in advance what days they could try and meet. I figure gps will tell me the truth one way or the other. I also plan on getting a VAR and sneak it in her car to see if they try and talk on phone while driving to work or home.
If I find out they are communicating again I will do a full exposure. This will be tricky. Because of their occupations and will damage their carrers signicantly. I don't care about his, but I feel for his wife who will be part of collateral damage. My wife is afraid OW's wife will tell people and has told me she doesn't think she is strong enough to handle it and she will probably commit suicide. She does look depressed at times and did mention using a gun to herself in an email to OW. She said the guilt was so bad she was going to kill herself. She is not really one for drama but who knows?
The only one that knows about affair is her sister. If I do an exposure I'd for sure tell family and friends, just not sure how to proceed with job. I accessed facebook and got many emails from OW familyand friends and will probably tell them to.
or went through similar situations.
Me: 40 BH. Her 39 WW. Married for 10 yrs and together for 13. Two beautiful children ages 1 and 3. First marriage for both of us.
I confirmed that she was having an affair on 5/28. Prior to this the signs were all over for a week or two. I think she must have bought one of everything they sell at Victoria's Secret. The thought brings bile to the back of my throat. Silly me, I thought she was branching out and doing this for me. The real clincher was the bag I seen I the closet with lingerie and massage oil in it. Anyways, my suspicians were very high and she must have been in a hurry and left her password for her yahoo account on the screen. I discovered a folder with about 50 emails in it. Lots of flowery love letters and poetry. It felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. This was 5/28. The worst part is I know the OW. We all work in a close medical community. I called him and after a few verbal threats and then a little evidence he came clean and admitted the A. It started as an EA between co-workers and turned a little physical. I had him write an email to my wife ending the A because of a change of heart and recommitment to his family. She bought it for a few days. Apparently the OW's wife found a few texts on 6/1 and confronted him. He then confessed to my wife that I knew and she told me her side of the story on 6/1.
She said it was just an EA, but after some pushing by me admitted touching but no intercourse. Still hurts terribly though. She said it was over between them. Things went downhill. She bacame withdrawn, didn't want to be touched and very moody. Nice for a couple days and then very mean. She still seemed a little suspicious to me at times and was still secretive. Changing email address. Secretive with phone. I ended up putting a keylogger on the computer and discovered they had a hidden email account. The emails were toned down a bit but still innapropriately lovey and they did meet once for a few minutes in a strip mall lot.
We had an argument and she admitted to ongoing communications with him on 6/26. Come to find out his wife found some emails on their computer the same week-end. WW and OM both swear to not talk or see each other again. I made some threats to OW. I think he is scared now and his wife is monitoring him very closely.
I discovered this website around then. I should have done an exposure then but I didn't fully understand the importance of it at that time. Since then for past 2 1/2
weeks wife has been very moody with no affection towards me. Says she needs space
and time to sort things out. I told her she can have as much time as she needs and have been doing a Plan A on her.
She loves to try and reverse roles on me and make it look like I'm the bad guy for spying on her and that she can no longer trust me. Fog talk. No logic at all. Anyways WW and OM are employed at same place. He put his termination notice in for sept 30. WW is also looking for different job and hopefully will be able to leave sooner.
OM wife and I have talked a few times to share info. As of now WW will have nothing to do with home computer. She uses her smart phone for everything so I don't really have a way to monitor her. I ordered to real-time gps monitors, one for WW 's car and one for OM. I pretty much know both of their schedules and know in advance what days they could try and meet. I figure gps will tell me the truth one way or the other. I also plan on getting a VAR and sneak it in her car to see if they try and talk on phone while driving to work or home.
If I find out they are communicating again I will do a full exposure. This will be tricky. Because of their occupations and will damage their carrers signicantly. I don't care about his, but I feel for his wife who will be part of collateral damage. My wife is afraid OW's wife will tell people and has told me she doesn't think she is strong enough to handle it and she will probably commit suicide. She does look depressed at times and did mention using a gun to herself in an email to OW. She said the guilt was so bad she was going to kill herself. She is not really one for drama but who knows?
The only one that knows about affair is her sister. If I do an exposure I'd for sure tell family and friends, just not sure how to proceed with job. I accessed facebook and got many emails from OW familyand friends and will probably tell them to.