Pretty sure my new wife cheated - 08/20/13 08:37 AM
I don't know how my life got to this point but I am falling apart and have hit rock bottom. My wife and I got married in March, no kids, she's 30, I'm 29. We both have good jobs and a nice house together but I still have credit cards and student loans I am paying on which is a constant argument we have about how I mismanage my money, etc. The big issues we have besides my family are that I don't provide financial security for her and I am not outgoing enough for her.
We have had several big blowouts after the wedding which had to do with me using a gift card that should have been used for kitchen ware and family issues again. I have distanced myself from my family and cut off most of my ties to them but the damage is done. There are too many issues to name but my mom has said some really nasty things about her and she said I didn't stand up enough for her and protect her like I should have. I felt like I did defend her but not enough for her liking.
Fast forward to the summer and we were having a good time until we had a big fight about money and she went out on her own. I know she had been depressed recently over all the fighting we have had and some of her friends moving away but I didn't know how bad it got until she was leaving for hours and getting back around 1 in the morning drunk on weekdays. I know it was wrong but I looked in her phone and found dozens of texts to a guy about getting drugs and hanging out.
I could go into detail about the texts but clearly there was an emotional affair going on already. She would call him sexy and he called her "baby" and at one point he mentioned he needed to see her and she replied hold off one more day babe. I confronted her and instead of admitting it she just said she was using him for drugs and was leading him on.
We had several more fights and she wanted a break for a week but I couldn't find somewhere to crash for a week so we took a week where I slept on the couch and we didn't really talk. She went out a lot and I still suspected it was going on. This past weekend we went to her moms and she told her mom the problems we had without giving her the details of what she did and her mom was very supportive and begged me to stay and work it out.
I was still suspicious so I looked into her phone again and found dozens of emails instead of texts going into graphic detail about how they were sneaking around and at one point she emailed him "I need you right now!" I was stunned but at this point I don't have the financial security to live somewhere else and because her mom gave me some money I feel like I am being bribed to work it out. I know the guy was a college student so he is away to college now but when I talk to her she claims nothing physical ever happened. I know what I saw and she keeps trying to tell me I was seeing too much into the texts. I know something happened so at this point I just want to get out and start over since we are only 5 months into our marriage with no kids. I can't talk to my family because of her and even though they were harsh to her she is overly sensitive and reads way to much into every situation. Without a smoking gun I can't say she really cheated on me but at this point I am just fooling myself to think nothing happened. I want to believe her but at the same time I keep thinking about how they both were making a fool out of me while I was sitting at home being pathetic. She wants to work it out and get counseling and she keeps saying we never gave ourselves a chance to work after all of the drama and fighting that happened during our engagement and the wedding but I think she is the one that never gave it a chance and now is regretting it. I am stuck in the house because I can't afford to live somewhere else and she can't afford it on her own so I dont know what to do next. She really wants to work it out but the same problems are still there. At this point I just feel like giving up on life...
We have had several big blowouts after the wedding which had to do with me using a gift card that should have been used for kitchen ware and family issues again. I have distanced myself from my family and cut off most of my ties to them but the damage is done. There are too many issues to name but my mom has said some really nasty things about her and she said I didn't stand up enough for her and protect her like I should have. I felt like I did defend her but not enough for her liking.
Fast forward to the summer and we were having a good time until we had a big fight about money and she went out on her own. I know she had been depressed recently over all the fighting we have had and some of her friends moving away but I didn't know how bad it got until she was leaving for hours and getting back around 1 in the morning drunk on weekdays. I know it was wrong but I looked in her phone and found dozens of texts to a guy about getting drugs and hanging out.
I could go into detail about the texts but clearly there was an emotional affair going on already. She would call him sexy and he called her "baby" and at one point he mentioned he needed to see her and she replied hold off one more day babe. I confronted her and instead of admitting it she just said she was using him for drugs and was leading him on.
We had several more fights and she wanted a break for a week but I couldn't find somewhere to crash for a week so we took a week where I slept on the couch and we didn't really talk. She went out a lot and I still suspected it was going on. This past weekend we went to her moms and she told her mom the problems we had without giving her the details of what she did and her mom was very supportive and begged me to stay and work it out.
I was still suspicious so I looked into her phone again and found dozens of emails instead of texts going into graphic detail about how they were sneaking around and at one point she emailed him "I need you right now!" I was stunned but at this point I don't have the financial security to live somewhere else and because her mom gave me some money I feel like I am being bribed to work it out. I know the guy was a college student so he is away to college now but when I talk to her she claims nothing physical ever happened. I know what I saw and she keeps trying to tell me I was seeing too much into the texts. I know something happened so at this point I just want to get out and start over since we are only 5 months into our marriage with no kids. I can't talk to my family because of her and even though they were harsh to her she is overly sensitive and reads way to much into every situation. Without a smoking gun I can't say she really cheated on me but at this point I am just fooling myself to think nothing happened. I want to believe her but at the same time I keep thinking about how they both were making a fool out of me while I was sitting at home being pathetic. She wants to work it out and get counseling and she keeps saying we never gave ourselves a chance to work after all of the drama and fighting that happened during our engagement and the wedding but I think she is the one that never gave it a chance and now is regretting it. I am stuck in the house because I can't afford to live somewhere else and she can't afford it on her own so I dont know what to do next. She really wants to work it out but the same problems are still there. At this point I just feel like giving up on life...