I don't know how my life got to this point but I am falling apart and have hit rock bottom. My wife and I got married in March, no kids, she's 30, I'm 29. We both have good jobs and a nice house together but I still have credit cards and student loans I am paying on which is a constant argument we have about how I mismanage my money, etc. The big issues we have besides my family are that I don't provide financial security for her and I am not outgoing enough for her.

We have had several big blowouts after the wedding which had to do with me using a gift card that should have been used for kitchen ware and family issues again. I have distanced myself from my family and cut off most of my ties to them but the damage is done. There are too many issues to name but my mom has said some really nasty things about her and she said I didn't stand up enough for her and protect her like I should have. I felt like I did defend her but not enough for her liking.

Fast forward to the summer and we were having a good time until we had a big fight about money and she went out on her own. I know she had been depressed recently over all the fighting we have had and some of her friends moving away but I didn't know how bad it got until she was leaving for hours and getting back around 1 in the morning drunk on weekdays. I know it was wrong but I looked in her phone and found dozens of texts to a guy about getting drugs and hanging out.

I could go into detail about the texts but clearly there was an emotional affair going on already. She would call him sexy and he called her "baby" and at one point he mentioned he needed to see her and she replied hold off one more day babe. I confronted her and instead of admitting it she just said she was using him for drugs and was leading him on.

We had several more fights and she wanted a break for a week but I couldn't find somewhere to crash for a week so we took a week where I slept on the couch and we didn't really talk. She went out a lot and I still suspected it was going on. This past weekend we went to her moms and she told her mom the problems we had without giving her the details of what she did and her mom was very supportive and begged me to stay and work it out.

I was still suspicious so I looked into her phone again and found dozens of emails instead of texts going into graphic detail about how they were sneaking around and at one point she emailed him "I need you right now!" I was stunned but at this point I don't have the financial security to live somewhere else and because her mom gave me some money I feel like I am being bribed to work it out. I know the guy was a college student so he is away to college now but when I talk to her she claims nothing physical ever happened. I know what I saw and she keeps trying to tell me I was seeing too much into the texts. I know something happened so at this point I just want to get out and start over since we are only 5 months into our marriage with no kids. I can't talk to my family because of her and even though they were harsh to her she is overly sensitive and reads way to much into every situation. Without a smoking gun I can't say she really cheated on me but at this point I am just fooling myself to think nothing happened. I want to believe her but at the same time I keep thinking about how they both were making a fool out of me while I was sitting at home being pathetic. She wants to work it out and get counseling and she keeps saying we never gave ourselves a chance to work after all of the drama and fighting that happened during our engagement and the wedding but I think she is the one that never gave it a chance and now is regretting it. I am stuck in the house because I can't afford to live somewhere else and she can't afford it on her own so I dont know what to do next. She really wants to work it out but the same problems are still there. At this point I just feel like giving up on life...

There is no question about it; your wife cheated. Even if her affair is emotional only, the consequences to you and your marriage are just as serious. Besides, it is almost certainly a physical affair.

You can recover from an affair even this early in a marriage. My wife had an emotional affair in the first year of our marriage. The blueprint on how to recover is here. The path is narrow. Start by watching the infidelity video on the home page. Explore the website. Get the book "Surviving an Affair." To start with, you will need to expose the affair.

Agree with Eureka, for sure a PA.

How long have you two been together?

and

Do you want to save this?

Honestly, 5 months in and this happens, I would take a hard long look at this relationship and ask what is the logic behind it and is it a viable long term M. If the excuse is financial woes, whats her response going to be when you two have little ones running around?

You need to go talk to somebody. Call a suicide hotline, go to your family physician and get antidepressants.

This feeling of betrayal will do this to you. It is not you, but you have to take care of this IMMEDIATELY!

We will help to empower you!

5 months. No kids.

I would advise you to protect yourself financially and file for divorce.

If she's using drunks and alcohol and cheating right off the bat then you should seriously consider divorcing her

I know the next steps are no contact letter and to expose but what if I don't even want to stay with her whats the point? I feel like if I tell everyone she is going to deny it and make me out to be crazy.

I feel like if I tell everyone she is going to deny it and make me out to be crazy.

Which is why the "exposure" step follows the "gather evidence" step!

Seriously, your likely end result will be a dissolution. With that understood, would you prefer she exits able to claim, "We just grew apart," or spending all her time explaining why the evidence you presented to all and sundry can be explained in ways that don't involve her betraying you with other men?