When Does the Affection Return? Do I stay? - 01/25/15 09:34 PM
Hello,
Been with my wife 8 years, married 4. We have one child each from previous relationships. Her daughter is 9,mine is 11. Both our kids consider us their "mommy and daddy" despite having another set of parents each. Anyway, I discovered an affair my wife was having with one of my best friends about 3 weeks ago. The affair was emotional at first but has been physical for the last 8 months. I asked for all the details on the affair and she provided them and agreed to end contact and go for counseling. We are in counseling now, our counselor uses gottman method. The reason for her affair was lack of emotional support from me and lack of romance in the relationship. I have begun making drastic changes and we talk about everything now. However, she gives me no affection, none. Wont tell me she loves me, and has said several times she is not sure she made the right choice to try and work things out with me. The only positive I have is that she has said a couple of times that she "hopes" we work out. I still tell her I love her and I do, with every bit of my being. But the coldness she shows to me now is difficult to deal with and I wonder if its not better just to end it and move on. I feel so empty inside most of the time and I have become obsessed with making her happy but it seems to go mostly unnoticed.
Thoughts?
Been with my wife 8 years, married 4. We have one child each from previous relationships. Her daughter is 9,mine is 11. Both our kids consider us their "mommy and daddy" despite having another set of parents each. Anyway, I discovered an affair my wife was having with one of my best friends about 3 weeks ago. The affair was emotional at first but has been physical for the last 8 months. I asked for all the details on the affair and she provided them and agreed to end contact and go for counseling. We are in counseling now, our counselor uses gottman method. The reason for her affair was lack of emotional support from me and lack of romance in the relationship. I have begun making drastic changes and we talk about everything now. However, she gives me no affection, none. Wont tell me she loves me, and has said several times she is not sure she made the right choice to try and work things out with me. The only positive I have is that she has said a couple of times that she "hopes" we work out. I still tell her I love her and I do, with every bit of my being. But the coldness she shows to me now is difficult to deal with and I wonder if its not better just to end it and move on. I feel so empty inside most of the time and I have become obsessed with making her happy but it seems to go mostly unnoticed.
Thoughts?