Okay, onto more.<P>re: first wife's status. Yes, she does generally retain the head honcho status. I imagine it could be quite empowering--she's more of a mom to the other wives, who are "sisters." She has more freedom and less duties as well, generally. A lot of the menial work is passed on to younger wives, and she is more able to just enjoy life.
<P>As for the halal meat thing. . . Well, sometimes it's a pain in the butt. I'd kill for a plain old McDonald's cheeseburger, at times. No matter what you do at home, you can't make a Micky Dees burger.
Also, my favorite meat as I was growing up was --get this--HAM! I miss it terribly. I always say that if I ever do something horribly awful, like kill someone or something, I'll be easy to find. I'll be naked, in my living room, with a ham on the bone and a bottle of plain yellow mustard. No fork. Hee hee hee. But I chose my religion, and have to accept those restrictions that I don't like, along with the generosities of Islam. <P>As far as recipes, I don't know what to say. I can cook quite a lot of Iraqi food, don't know that you'll interest him with any of it. But try making the grape leave thing some time, but don't use the leaves. Stuff tomatoes, roll it up in onions, stuff baby eggplants, or small peppers, etc. I like it better than the leaves at times, because I don't always like to eat the leaf (after a couple I start feeling like an herbivore), but I LOVE to eat the tomatoes, onions, etc. <P>A lot of the food that I've been taught is not only iraqi, but more localized than that--right down to food that isn't found a lot out of the city he's from! Like fes-n-joon, a pasty soup made from chicken, pomegranite syrup, walnuts, and tahini. Looks like henna, or (ewww--) runny poop!, but tastes fantastic. Also, his people don't give me recipes, they just say "do this, then this, then taste it and if it needs something, put in this. . ." It works well for me, because I'm a more than competent cook (I used to cook at a resort, as well as short-order), but some people don't do well with that. But here's a recipe I love, and actually took the time to configure into a recipe. . . It's easy and yummy (though you have to be into fried foods. . .) I'm copying and pasting it from MS Word, I had written it up for a collection at work. . .<P>Kub’ba<P>This is a middle-eastern dish, and I see it as an appetizer. It is generally eaten by breaking a piece off and sandwiching it in a torn piece of pita bread, with a few chunks of lettuce, tomato, green pepper, onion, or whatever veggies taste good with it. There are many varieties of Kub’ba around, as Kub’ba is basically any little stuffed finger-food. This is my personal favorite.<P>Meat filling: 1 tsp salt <BR> 1 tsp allspice ½ tsp pepper ¼ tsp garlic 1/3 cup raisins<BR> 1/3 cup minced onions<BR> 1/3 lb ground beef<BR>Rice mixture: 4 cups leftover rice<BR> 1/3 to 1 cup water<BR> ¼ to ½ cup flour<BR> Salt to taste<BR>Also: 1 egg, well beaten (optional)<P>Meat filling:<BR>Brown the onions in lightly oiled pan. Add the beef, salt, pepper, garlic, and allspice. Brown the meat and drain the fat. Let cool. Break the meat up well—the mixture should be very crumbled and loose. Soak the raisins in warm water until plump. Add them to the meat mixture, and mix well. (Keep in mind, folks, that this is a basic idea of the filling. Taste it! If it needs salt, give it some. If it needs some other seasoning, add it too!)<P>Rice mixture:<BR>Dump the rice into a large bowl--one with lots of room to work with (a 2 quart bowl works well). Take a fork, and start adding the water and flour a little at a time, mashing it into the rice. (i.e. Add a couple tablespoons of water, and a couple teaspoons of flour. Mash away. Add a little more water, mash, then a little more water, mash, then maybe some flour, mash. . . etc.) Keep working the rice mixture with flour and water until you have a pasty mixture that holds together well, and can be formed into balls easily. (Note: as the mixture gets pastier, it is best to actually mix it with your hands, so you can feel when it is at a good consistency to work with--the consistency should be similar to a real thick, cold, cream-of-wheat. Also, it’s fun to get your hands messy!) Salt this mixture to taste—it should be noticeably salty, or the kub’ba will be very bland. <P>Here comes the fun! Sprinkle some water on a big platter or pan, and wipe it around. You’re going to set the kub’ba on this before you cook it, and it will stick if the pan isn’t a little wet. Now get your hands all wet. Grab a ball of the rice mixture (I use approx. golf ball size, or a little smaller. To be honest, the smaller ones taste best, but it’s kind of a pain, and I get lazy, so they get bigger as I go). Roll it around in your hands until it makes a nice little ball, all very compact. Now poke it! Stick your finger in it, make a hole, and spoon some meat filling into it. Close the hole, roll the ball around a little, and then flatten it a little—think “flying saucer” shape. Put it on the platter. Repeat that until you run out of rice or meat. (If you run out of meat first, you can use the rest of the rice and fill them with whatever you want—cheese, veggies, whatever—be creative! If you run out of rice first, use the leftover meat mixture on top of a garden salad—yummy!) After you have a platter full of kub’ba, put them in the fridge to chill, while you heat the oil (the next step).<P>Put a big frying pan on the stove. Put in about an inch or so of oil, and heat it. I mean, it should be HOT, almost to the point of smoking. Now here’s the catch: if you trust yourself, and have made this recipe a few times (which tends to give you false security) then toss your Kub’ba into the oil, fry until a little darker than golden on each side, and set them to cool and drain on a paper bag. If you’re unsure of your Kub’ba prowess, dip the Kub’ba in the beaten egg before frying. The egg gives a nice color, and keeps the Kub’ba from breaking up into little pieces in your oil. (This will happen if your rice has too much water, not enough water, not enough flour, because the moon is rising, because you really want them to turn out well, because it’s a leap year, because a cat sneezed in Japan, and for a variety of other reasons I haven’t discovered yet.)<P>A few notes: If you dip them in egg, and they still fall apart, your oil is definitely not hot enough. If you make cheese-filled Kub’ba, fry them LAST, as the cheese inevitably leaks out and ruins your oil (I’m speaking from experience). BE CREATIVE! Vary the seasoning to taste, skip the raisins, add extra onion, or stuff them with whatever’s sitting in your fridge, asking to be used! This is not a set-in-stone recipe, it’s a guide. Enjoy!<P>Anyway. Onto my last note for the moment. You had mentioned that if it doesn't work out with your man, he doesn't want you to be with any other arab.
My man is the other way around, kind of. He's okay with the fact that I'm american, and he wasn't the first. However, had I ever slept with an arab before I had met him, he would have never considered me. . . Can't stand the thought, don't know why. But if something should happen and we don't make it, or he dies, or whatever, he's very insistent that I should go to his oldest brother so his brother will find some nice man for me to marry. He feels like only a shia iraqi good muslim man will take care of me appropriately, and if it isn't him, his brother will make sure that I get a "good one." He had even told me this in the past, when we were having problems and not sure we were going to make it--he'd say "We're too different, it's not going to work. But go to *his brother*, and he'll make sure you get someone you deserve." Granted, part of this was to hurt me "go away, go away, go away," but part of this was based in his true desire to make sure that I have a good arab man.<P>Gotta run!<BR>--3H<BR>