LA,
Sorry to take so long to reply...been a busy few days...I am glad you're doing better...there must be something in the air because my oldest daughter is just getting over a nasty cold, and she still has a lingering cough. Now my youngest is starting! Ugh.
I'm not really sure how to answer your question...I don't really consider myself "good" at fighting fair. In the past, and even still, I tend to get snotty and biting when I "fight". I tried very hard not to get that way on the other JJ thread, because it never turns out well. So I just try to keep in mind, we are really all in this together, we are all a lot more alike than we think, and we all need to treat each other with respect. Also what helps a lot is to keep emotions out of it, although that's much easier said than done. If someone responds to me with what i might see as a personal attack or dig, I choose to ignore the emotional response I get and just really try to listen to the message, the words themselves and respond in as neutral a way as I can.
As for what the Bible says about it, I can't think of specific verses that answer that, so I guess I just try to think about how Jesus would respond. Whenever he was attacked or someone tried to start an argument in order to trick Him, he responded in as few words as possible, and always got to the underlying issue. I have found for myself that keeping responses short is best, and I try to stick to responding only to what was said without interjecting a whole lot of other issues or assumptions about what people "mean." In other words, I take what was said at face value. I tend towards reading things into what is said, so I really watch out for that. It always ends up bad! It is for that same reason that i try to keep responses short and to the point, because I may say something off the top of my head that really doesn't have much to do with the issue at hand, and a lot of times, it is those statements that jump out at people, and gives fuel for the fire, kwim?
Anyway, I hope this helped....and like i said, I am no expert at fighting fair! But it really does help to avoid "reacting" and just stick to "responding". Make sense?
And to remember there is another human being at the other end of the "fight" that may just be as vulnerable as you and just not showing it!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
NOW