Can't find the solution - can you help? - 06/23/00 06:21 AM
Here is the background:<BR>My husband and I have been having numerous problems lately. He says he feels like he has "lost" something about me. He says he still loves me but that getting over the "loss" is hard for him. He has also been reflecting on all the problems in our marriage and says he doesn't think things will ever change. He says there are things he wants in his future (like a family) but doesn't think we'll fix our problems so that we could have a good family life. He has withdrawn a lot from me in the last couple of months, although he still says that he loves me (when I ask him). <BR>Now my problem:<BR>We just recently got our computer. Since we got it, he found a chat room which he goes to daily. In that chat room he met a girl who he now sends e-mails to. Now, he didn't tell me about all this, I "searched" for it myself. Being in the uncertain situation we're in, I felt he might be up to something so I investigated. I haven't told him that I know about her although, I know he knows that I know. He says he knows I've been checking his e-mails. <BR>The problem is that I don't know if he's pursuing a romantic relationship or a friendship relationship with her. The message so far have been friendly but they have ended with "hugs and kisses" and stuff like that. Am I freaking out or should I be worried? I don't know what to think.<BR>He knows I've seen the messages but still continues to write to her. We talked about faithfulness the other night - without admiting to him that I knew about her and bout my fear that he would leave me for someone else. He said that there was no reason for me to be worring about that; that there was no reason for me to feel insecure. He also always says that if he ever left me for someone, he would tell me so.<P>So what do you think?<BR>Should I just trust him and hope that he is only seeking her for friendship? Should I tell her that he's married and ask her to keep their relationship as only friends?<BR>Any suggestions as to any of this?