I feel so sick of dating and I keep making it worse! - 01/03/06 02:56 AM
Recently I tried to break it off with a man who I have been seeing for about a year. I am very insecure still and emotionally naive after my divorce and i felt unsure of when to get really involved-sex. So I decided rather than torture us both to call it off by telling him it's not working. He refuses to accept that answer and calls constantly to tell me he will never stop loving me or stop calling. He writes me emails professing love and offering to pay me to stay with him, pay me as his assistant, love slave because he never wants me to be unhappy or leave him again. I stopped talking to him for a week, it just got worse as he is now more giving and I don't know if this is what I wanted at one time?
Do women want this? To be live with someone and be adored is such a dream of mine but we can't be together because we are just so not compatible in our viewpoints, he hates women working, he yells at me when I ask questions.
Recently it's been getting bad like this:
He says there is one boss and he is it, to stop talking, when I talk, to act like a real woman, be more submissive, take care of the man and everything will be better, because I have bad habits, argue too much. It scares me a bit the way he tries to manage the way I talk, dress, act, but I am more afraid of breaking it off cold turkey. I won't see him again, that's for sure.
To make things worse I got lonely over New Years and talked up another man in his neighborhood which was really stupid because the entire family lives there and they are tight. Right away he asked if I just broke up with my b/f and I said yes and he asked if he was around here and I said, yes and he then said I bet I could find out who he is. At that point I cut off the conversation, but he knows my name, and could say we were talking which would just cause more drama. I don't want to cause more problems,
What can I do to end this gracefully or are things going to get ugly and how ugly? What can I do?
I feel so sick of dating, of love relationships, why would anyone want romance anyway? There is no affection, no love, no hope, just this constant fear of not doing the right thing, not knowing what to do, and no one to ask what to do. I want to talk to my therapist but I feel guilty as I told my ex b/f I was going to do that and he said don't dare bring our problems in front of someone else.
I can't believe I would listen to another man and let him run my emotions this way and be afraid. My therapist says if we are not physically compatible to end it, and that's the problem, but I can't tell him this. I feel I don't know how to act in any relationship anymore, and there must be something really wrong with me. What if my ex b/f goes nuts, at this point and never leaves me alone?
Nat
Do women want this? To be live with someone and be adored is such a dream of mine but we can't be together because we are just so not compatible in our viewpoints, he hates women working, he yells at me when I ask questions.
Recently it's been getting bad like this:
He says there is one boss and he is it, to stop talking, when I talk, to act like a real woman, be more submissive, take care of the man and everything will be better, because I have bad habits, argue too much. It scares me a bit the way he tries to manage the way I talk, dress, act, but I am more afraid of breaking it off cold turkey. I won't see him again, that's for sure.
To make things worse I got lonely over New Years and talked up another man in his neighborhood which was really stupid because the entire family lives there and they are tight. Right away he asked if I just broke up with my b/f and I said yes and he asked if he was around here and I said, yes and he then said I bet I could find out who he is. At that point I cut off the conversation, but he knows my name, and could say we were talking which would just cause more drama. I don't want to cause more problems,
What can I do to end this gracefully or are things going to get ugly and how ugly? What can I do?
I feel so sick of dating, of love relationships, why would anyone want romance anyway? There is no affection, no love, no hope, just this constant fear of not doing the right thing, not knowing what to do, and no one to ask what to do. I want to talk to my therapist but I feel guilty as I told my ex b/f I was going to do that and he said don't dare bring our problems in front of someone else.
I can't believe I would listen to another man and let him run my emotions this way and be afraid. My therapist says if we are not physically compatible to end it, and that's the problem, but I can't tell him this. I feel I don't know how to act in any relationship anymore, and there must be something really wrong with me. What if my ex b/f goes nuts, at this point and never leaves me alone?
Nat