Friends like me.... - 11/03/08 11:41 PM
OK guys I must be a good friend to listen to everyone elses issues but this one perplexes me.... give me some advice for this friend...
I have a male friend...6 years ago he was diagnosed with cancer...he underwent chemo and a transplant and was blessed with clean scans afterward. His at the time girlfriend stayed with him...they developed a more of a patient and nurse relationship. Afterward they got married. He feels now that it was a wow I survived lets get married I don't want to wait life crisis thing. The marriage was never close. They had SEVERE communication issues. There fighting grew worse and worse. Eventually out of a want to shake things up (per his therepist) he made the mistake of cheating on his wife. They went to therapy for 2 years but nothing got better. Eventually he moved out. Things did not get better and he decided they were better friends instead of lovers and after a year and a half seperation decided he wanted a divorce. 3 months later he met a woman who has been everything he ever wanted....he has stayed by her and they even live together now. He wants to marry her and have a life with her. He has told me he communicates better with her. He isn't scared to talk about what he's feelng with her and she listens and doesn't get angry with him.
The problem remains that he is still married. He agreed with his ex wife that he would help to finish paying off some mutual bills before filing the papers. But it seems she keeps finding things to add on to his name from a dog that was hit by a car (it was fine tho nothing broken)(his girlfriend was furious when she called asking his info to give to the vet as the dog isn't even his) and then she keeps adding medical issues she needs to get treated....this has caused some issues between him and his girlfriend. For the most part tho they have a great relationship and really communicate about things and work it out. She has been great for him and we all love her....How would you all suggest I advise him on this issue?
I have a male friend...6 years ago he was diagnosed with cancer...he underwent chemo and a transplant and was blessed with clean scans afterward. His at the time girlfriend stayed with him...they developed a more of a patient and nurse relationship. Afterward they got married. He feels now that it was a wow I survived lets get married I don't want to wait life crisis thing. The marriage was never close. They had SEVERE communication issues. There fighting grew worse and worse. Eventually out of a want to shake things up (per his therepist) he made the mistake of cheating on his wife. They went to therapy for 2 years but nothing got better. Eventually he moved out. Things did not get better and he decided they were better friends instead of lovers and after a year and a half seperation decided he wanted a divorce. 3 months later he met a woman who has been everything he ever wanted....he has stayed by her and they even live together now. He wants to marry her and have a life with her. He has told me he communicates better with her. He isn't scared to talk about what he's feelng with her and she listens and doesn't get angry with him.
The problem remains that he is still married. He agreed with his ex wife that he would help to finish paying off some mutual bills before filing the papers. But it seems she keeps finding things to add on to his name from a dog that was hit by a car (it was fine tho nothing broken)(his girlfriend was furious when she called asking his info to give to the vet as the dog isn't even his) and then she keeps adding medical issues she needs to get treated....this has caused some issues between him and his girlfriend. For the most part tho they have a great relationship and really communicate about things and work it out. She has been great for him and we all love her....How would you all suggest I advise him on this issue?