I'm simply devastated - 01/30/13 03:29 AM
I've been lurking on this forum for some time and have read through Dr. H's different threads. I agree with the principals of his method and approach. I'm also overwhelmed by the action that is required on my part to salvage this relationship. My hope is that I have the strength, courage and fortitude to follow this through.
I'll preface what I'm about to say by stating I am devastated, angry and feel like I'm going crazy. I understand this is normal.... the crazy part?
I'm not well versed in all the acronyms, but do have some of the basics down. I will learn though, as time goes on.
We have been together for 8+ years and engaged since 2009. We met in 2004, 4 years after his divorce was final and 3 years after my divorce was final. He has two alienated teenage daughters and a N/BPD ex-wife. I have no biological children of my own and we do not have children together. We own a business together and I own the house we live in. Is this information relevant?
As of tonight, I am thoroughly convinced my fiance is having an affair since I found further validation of this by snooping. And yes, I have print outs of emails, OW's phone number and email addresses as well as print screens of text messages. I feel like throwing up just typing this out. My fiance recently got a very sophisticated smart phone and has it in lock down. I can no longer snoop.
I did confront him about the OW and he lied about the extent of their involvement, of course????
I want to try and salvage our relationship. I'm typically a problem solver and do not know where to begin. I have read about plan A as well as Plan B. I think I'm ready to do exposure? But at this point I am looking for validation that my thoughts are real and I'm nor going crazy. I would also welcome pointed questions from those that have been through this. I'm so lost.
This post is the first time I have communicated my suspicion as well as the affair.
Where do I begin?
I'll preface what I'm about to say by stating I am devastated, angry and feel like I'm going crazy. I understand this is normal.... the crazy part?
I'm not well versed in all the acronyms, but do have some of the basics down. I will learn though, as time goes on.
We have been together for 8+ years and engaged since 2009. We met in 2004, 4 years after his divorce was final and 3 years after my divorce was final. He has two alienated teenage daughters and a N/BPD ex-wife. I have no biological children of my own and we do not have children together. We own a business together and I own the house we live in. Is this information relevant?
As of tonight, I am thoroughly convinced my fiance is having an affair since I found further validation of this by snooping. And yes, I have print outs of emails, OW's phone number and email addresses as well as print screens of text messages. I feel like throwing up just typing this out. My fiance recently got a very sophisticated smart phone and has it in lock down. I can no longer snoop.
I did confront him about the OW and he lied about the extent of their involvement, of course????
I want to try and salvage our relationship. I'm typically a problem solver and do not know where to begin. I have read about plan A as well as Plan B. I think I'm ready to do exposure? But at this point I am looking for validation that my thoughts are real and I'm nor going crazy. I would also welcome pointed questions from those that have been through this. I'm so lost.
This post is the first time I have communicated my suspicion as well as the affair.
Where do I begin?