Is spying something MB advocates? - 11/29/11 07:51 PM
I am curious. I have been perusing these boards for a few weeks, just to try to make myself more comfortable posting here and learn what it is all about. I think I may have a WH, but not sure how much. I know he has contacted girls on CL (none local to us, thank god) and asking them to send nude pics. I truly don't think he has done anything physically yet, but who knows where this is going to lead.
We are working on our marriage and just discovered MB. He is all for us doing this. After 25 years of marriage, I am afraid it has gotten stale. We both seem to no longer put our spouses needs ahead of our own, and I am afraid it has caused him to seek some sort of validation elsewhere, even if only on the internet. He says he has stopped and it didn't go on very long. It was several girls online, not just one.
But, of course, how can one believe someone who has lied to them in the past. So, does MB advocate installing keyloggers, VAR, etc. to "spy" on a suspected cheating spouse. I only ask, because it seems to me, that if you can't start to build trust with your spouse, without stooping to this type of thing, what is there really to "save" in a marriage. Is it really worth saving? I guess I am grappling with the need to build trust back up in our marriage, but the feeling that am I really anymore trustworthy than he is, if I "secretly" spy on him to try to "catch him" in something. It is a struggle.
We are working on our marriage and just discovered MB. He is all for us doing this. After 25 years of marriage, I am afraid it has gotten stale. We both seem to no longer put our spouses needs ahead of our own, and I am afraid it has caused him to seek some sort of validation elsewhere, even if only on the internet. He says he has stopped and it didn't go on very long. It was several girls online, not just one.
But, of course, how can one believe someone who has lied to them in the past. So, does MB advocate installing keyloggers, VAR, etc. to "spy" on a suspected cheating spouse. I only ask, because it seems to me, that if you can't start to build trust with your spouse, without stooping to this type of thing, what is there really to "save" in a marriage. Is it really worth saving? I guess I am grappling with the need to build trust back up in our marriage, but the feeling that am I really anymore trustworthy than he is, if I "secretly" spy on him to try to "catch him" in something. It is a struggle.