Situation w/ my wife- Concerns valid? or Paranoid? - 06/25/12 10:37 PM
Background, married 7 years now, wife and I just had our 3rd child a month ago. She is a project engineer for a large plumbing company. She works with all men. She is the only female on a team of 12 other men. She specifically works directly with another man on her 2 person sub-team.
So, needless to say every project she has to work on, she has to work directly with this other guy. She has worked with this other guy on her team since 2009.
Well I work in the oilfield 6 hours away and am gone 24 days per month. Personally other than me being gone all the time for the past 12 months our marriage I feel has been great.
Well recently I noticed this guy texting her. So I downloaded a program and retrieved all of her texts for the past 3 years just to see if anything was going on. Well out of 3,512 texts with this co-worker she works directly with on all projects for their 2 person team, I didnt really find anything out of the ordinary.
80% of the texts are work related. The others are just random stuff like telling her he went golfing with his wife, got a babysitter for their newborn and wanted to know what to pay her, pics of his newborn, and my wife in turn texted him pics from time to time of our kids either playing sports, or winning awards, etc. My wife did tell me she was babysitting his newborn one night while he and his wife went out to eat.
So nothing like meet me here, lets go do this, etc. just work stuff and some random personal stuff like babysitters, what he was doing over the weekend (golf, etc) and random tv shows they talk about at work.
What really bugs me is how much they text and talk on their company chat. it's a work computer, and work internal chat system. But they talk back and forth all day about the projects they work on. I dont mind the work related texting and chatting, but when he texts at 9:30pm at night every night or two about his golf game with the guys, or a tv show outcome that night, I feel it is kinda weird.
I confronted her about him 2 months ago and she said he is like a big brother since she works with him daily and has for the past 3 years. She doesnt lock her phone, I have access to her internal chat password, so she isnt really hiding anything in my opinion.
I guess since I was cheated on in the relationship prior to mine with my wife, I dated her for 3 years and found out I was being cheated on right before I proposed (so good luck finding out then!)
Is my uneasyness justified, or am I just paranoid due to a previous relationship that I was cheated on?
Let me know your thoughts..........
So, needless to say every project she has to work on, she has to work directly with this other guy. She has worked with this other guy on her team since 2009.
Well I work in the oilfield 6 hours away and am gone 24 days per month. Personally other than me being gone all the time for the past 12 months our marriage I feel has been great.
Well recently I noticed this guy texting her. So I downloaded a program and retrieved all of her texts for the past 3 years just to see if anything was going on. Well out of 3,512 texts with this co-worker she works directly with on all projects for their 2 person team, I didnt really find anything out of the ordinary.
80% of the texts are work related. The others are just random stuff like telling her he went golfing with his wife, got a babysitter for their newborn and wanted to know what to pay her, pics of his newborn, and my wife in turn texted him pics from time to time of our kids either playing sports, or winning awards, etc. My wife did tell me she was babysitting his newborn one night while he and his wife went out to eat.
So nothing like meet me here, lets go do this, etc. just work stuff and some random personal stuff like babysitters, what he was doing over the weekend (golf, etc) and random tv shows they talk about at work.
What really bugs me is how much they text and talk on their company chat. it's a work computer, and work internal chat system. But they talk back and forth all day about the projects they work on. I dont mind the work related texting and chatting, but when he texts at 9:30pm at night every night or two about his golf game with the guys, or a tv show outcome that night, I feel it is kinda weird.
I confronted her about him 2 months ago and she said he is like a big brother since she works with him daily and has for the past 3 years. She doesnt lock her phone, I have access to her internal chat password, so she isnt really hiding anything in my opinion.
I guess since I was cheated on in the relationship prior to mine with my wife, I dated her for 3 years and found out I was being cheated on right before I proposed (so good luck finding out then!)
Is my uneasyness justified, or am I just paranoid due to a previous relationship that I was cheated on?
Let me know your thoughts..........