At the breaking point - 11/13/13 10:05 PM
Hi everyone. New to posting but not reading. I have lurked for awhile and have forums this to be very useful in helping me to build a stronger marriage or so I thought.
Quick background. Married 10 years. 2nd marriage for both. H - 49. Me 47. I have 2 boys ages 22 and 15. He has 2 girls 24 and 20 and a boy 22. We have no children living with us but out living circumstances are that we live with my parents so that I can be a caregiver to them as they need the help and it was a mutual agreement between my husband and myself to do this. We have help that comes in in order to let us be off duty for every other weekend (4 days each time )and we spend all our fee time together. In fact we rarely do anything without the other person by our side besides work.
Recently things have been going downhill in our relationship as I have been not accepting certain types of behaviour from my husband, such as angry outbursts and it finally came to ahead this weekend when he left for 3 days after a particularly bad fight. He asked to come home and said he was ready to get anger management help. I agreed for him to come on that condition.
My question is I am having a hard time getting my worries and anxieties under control in order to not contribute to his angry feelings. I was having a bad day yesterday and I was trying to not cry in front of him when I got home from taking my mother out. Crying is one of his love busters and I am working on not doing it any longer but how does one behave around their husband when he is still so sensitive to everything. That anything I say could set him off into retreat mode for days and I never know what it's going to be. So I have no way of predicting what to expect.
I am not sure the question even makes sense but ask me what you need to know for it to be clear. I am afraid every minute of the day to say anything for fear he will leave again.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Quick background. Married 10 years. 2nd marriage for both. H - 49. Me 47. I have 2 boys ages 22 and 15. He has 2 girls 24 and 20 and a boy 22. We have no children living with us but out living circumstances are that we live with my parents so that I can be a caregiver to them as they need the help and it was a mutual agreement between my husband and myself to do this. We have help that comes in in order to let us be off duty for every other weekend (4 days each time )and we spend all our fee time together. In fact we rarely do anything without the other person by our side besides work.
Recently things have been going downhill in our relationship as I have been not accepting certain types of behaviour from my husband, such as angry outbursts and it finally came to ahead this weekend when he left for 3 days after a particularly bad fight. He asked to come home and said he was ready to get anger management help. I agreed for him to come on that condition.
My question is I am having a hard time getting my worries and anxieties under control in order to not contribute to his angry feelings. I was having a bad day yesterday and I was trying to not cry in front of him when I got home from taking my mother out. Crying is one of his love busters and I am working on not doing it any longer but how does one behave around their husband when he is still so sensitive to everything. That anything I say could set him off into retreat mode for days and I never know what it's going to be. So I have no way of predicting what to expect.
I am not sure the question even makes sense but ask me what you need to know for it to be clear. I am afraid every minute of the day to say anything for fear he will leave again.
Thank you for your time and consideration.