Husband shows zero affection yet says helovesme

It's a case of whirlwind pregnancy and marriage
We both committed to eachother and with a tiny bud of love and affection we began this marriage as a blended family. It's been 5 years now.
I love him. He loves me he says. Yet I get no affection ever. I'm a giver. Constantly giving. I don't recieve. My love bank is near empty. He is amazing provider. Father. And he will hug and kids the kids and play with them. But not me. Never me. He can go weeks without affectionate behavior. He thinks sex is all I need and only every few weeks. He says stress is high but when will it ever not be? We have young kids but im telling you, I am always down for a flirtatious conversation or even a damn look. Just a look. An appreciative look of sexuality desire or even love. A cheesy word or SOMETHING. but I get nothing. And when I bring it up it is backfired into my face. He is well aware that I need affection. But apparently it isn't important? What's going on here? He says he loves me but I'm about to throw in the towel. We are not a typical started marriage but we are a good family and by God I try to please him and feel he is just not attracted anymore.
Suggestions?

Originally Posted by Mastiffmama

It's a case of whirlwind pregnancy and marriage
We both committed to eachother and with a tiny bud of love and affection we began this marriage as a blended family. It's been 5 years now.
I love him. He loves me he says. Yet I get no affection ever. I'm a giver. Constantly giving. I don't recieve. My love bank is near empty. He is amazing provider. Father. And he will hug and kids the kids and play with them. But not me. Never me. He can go weeks without affectionate behavior. He thinks sex is all I need and only every few weeks. He says stress is high but when will it ever not be? We have young kids but im telling you, I am always down for a flirtatious conversation or even a damn look. Just a look. An appreciative look of sexuality desire or even love. A cheesy word or SOMETHING. but I get nothing. And when I bring it up it is backfired into my face. He is well aware that I need affection. But apparently it isn't important? What's going on here? He says he loves me but I'm about to throw in the towel. We are not a typical started marriage but we are a good family and by God I try to please him and feel he is just not attracted anymore.
Suggestions?

Welcome to MB.

How did yours and your husband's previous marriages end?

This is his first marriage. He was non committing to all previous women. Never more than a few months with any woman. I was not previously married but was in a serious relationship that made it nearly to alter after 8 years and a child. But we mutually split.

I just affection. He says I am asking him to change an integrated part of him. What am I supposed to respond to that with? He is open to counseling though

Merged threads. Please stick to one thread.

Is he familiar with MB? Love busters? Emotional needs?

Originally Posted by Mastiffmama

I just affection. He says I am asking him to change an integrated part of him. What am I supposed to respond to that with? He is open to counseling though

Dr. Harley has some great material that responds directly to that. He has free articles on this site about affection. He has the book His Needs Her Needs that directly addresses this issue. And he discusses it on his free radio show.

Is your husband willing to check out Dr. Harley's information?