I think I'm going to sue Betty Crocker. It's all their fault.

I started making a cake today. I read half of the instructions, but it soon became apparent to me that they had written them for general use and not for my very special, unique circumstances. I quickly revised a few things to meet the needs of my situation.

I got some things out to do it. The recipe said that I needed 3 eggs. I only had one, and going to the store was very inconvenient. I decided just to use the one and a package of Egg Beaters.

I got out a bowl. It wasn't a mixing bowl like the instructions said. It was just a plain old soup bowl, but that should have been good enough. I mean, really, what do they want?

Since the cake takes so long to make and bake, and I didn't want to wait that long, I just kept dipping my spoon into the mix and eating it as I went along. I set the oven to 500 degrees and turned it on to preheat. I added 4 cups of olive oil and my eggs. The package said vegetable oil, but olive oil is so much better for you that I decided to substitute it.

I got out my electric mixer like the one pictured on the package and turned it on the highest level. (I mean, HELLO, I want this sooner than later!) Well, let me tell you, the stuff went flying EVERYWHERE! WTF were they thinking?! Since the mixer obviously wasn’t working, I just got out a spoon and stirred my mixture a few times.

I poured the mixture into the exact pan size that they said, and it didn’t even cover the BOTTOM OF THE PAN, so I transferred the batter to a smaller pan that was 3 inches deep. I like thicker cakes, anyway.

I put the pan in the oven, and go to watch some TV. Who wants to watch something bake? I have better things to do…

Well, 45 minutes later I go to check on my cake (cause it was NOT smelling good) and I notice black smoke everywhere! The batter had oozed all over the side of my pan and burning on the oven’s heating element! The rest of the cake was completely charred, there’s no way I can eat that. I doesn’t even look like a cake.

The box DID say to only bake it for 25 minutes, but really, should that be MY responsibility? Shouldn’t the cake just KNOW when it’s done and stop baking? Come on, it’s the 21st century.

So, here I am standing in the middle of a mess with a worthless burnt cake. My oven is almost ruined, I’ve got cake mixture on every surface in my kitchen, and I didn’t get to have my cake, let alone eat it too.

I don’t advise anyone here to buy Betty Crocker products. They are nothing but a fraudulent rip-off. Your kitchen could be ruined.

And I’m suing them. It’s all their fault.

Hi, Takola!

LOL!

I heard that back in the 50s, when prepackaged cake mixes were first introduced to the market, they sold poorly. Some marketing genius at Betty Crocker theorized that housewives felt guilty using a prepackaged cake mix that required very little effort on their part. The company accordingly reformulated their mixture so that the cook was now required to add an egg to the mixture - something that had not been required before.

It worked - sales of prepackaged cake mixes took off and have been fairly high ever since.

Great re-post, Tak!!

CC, this is for pple that take the MB Guidelines, change them to fit "their unique" needs and then cry and complain that MB DOESN'T WORK!!!!

Oh yes, it works....follow through the EXACT recipe!!!

Hi Fraggles. Long time no type. How's it going?

Fraggs!!!!! Long time no see!!! Hope things are going well with you!

Hi Tak!
Glad to see you typing!

Things here are peachy-keen.

I think we earned the "Recovery Badge"

Hard work, love, and MB all the way.

Lots happened in the past 4 years...

M is stronger than ever, young kids (DS14 & DD12 doing well) AND

We are GRANDPARENTS!!!

1st one GSon (Bubby) is 2 1/2 (almost) and GC #2 on the way due in Novemeber!

LOL

Yes I've heard the same thing about the cake mixes, and letting the cooks add an egg to feel good.

I love the website www.epicurious.com. I get a lot of recipes there. One of our family's faves is the Red-Wine Pot Roast with Porcini Mushrooms. Don't tell my H - it's the only thing I am not honest about. The poor dear thinks he doesn't like mushrooms. Shh!

Here is an actual review of that recipe:

10/03/06
A Cook from Cleveland
Made it for my girlfriend and this was absolutely horrible. I substituted Welch's Grape juice for the wine because my girlfriend is Moslem. I couldn't find Porcini mushrooms so I used B&B canned mushrooms. Also I was out of tomatos so I substituted a cup of V8 juice and being out of onions and garlic, I just tripled the amount of celery. Also the store was out of chuck roast so I had to use skirt steak. It had to be the worst meal ever. Do not make this recipe!

Here's the link if you want to check it out yourself.

(You have to scroll down to get to the "Cook from Cleveland" review.)

Tak,

That was a great analogy. Thanks for sharing it that way... I liked that it was both humorous but rang true and that there was a deeper meaning too.

Thanks for reposting here.

Jilly

Jilly,

I'm glad you liked it. I wrote it in 2003, I think. It's been a while...

Thanks for reposting it. I had the old one bookmarked forever and lost all my bookmarks recently.

Tak,

As you well know my friend, this is one of my all time favorite posts! I still giggle every time I read it. You are missed here.

I bow to the queen of analogy!

Hi Star! I bowed to temptation over on the GQII board...someone slap me with a wet fish.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2038986&fpart=1

Consider yourself fish-slapped. LOL.