My story...

XW(41) and I (42) experienced serious financial problems mainly caused by me(no gambling). We lived in a beautiful house, drove nice cars and had money. I made poor financial choices and they lasted for 3 years until my XW wanted out. We have 2 children D6 and S5. Last July my XW states that she wants out of the marriage(ILYBNLILWY).

On that very day, she began an emotional affair with a recently divorced neighbor who she was introduced to by a friend of hers. I knew right away that something was going on and I confronted her. I got the "he is just a friend" speech and he is just being supportive since he went through a divorce himself.

She asked me to move out and I refused since I would not leave my family but also knowing that she was talking to another man. Well, she moved out 7 weeks later all the while talking to OM on secret pay cell phones and our home phone. I had to endure 7 weeks of pure hell and all I got from her was anger, yelling, blame and everything else.

She went to a divorce attorney within 2 days after she dropped the bomb. Pushed the divorce down my throat meanwhile she was involved with the OM. We settled by mediation and finalized our divorce this past July. She has lied again and again and stated that I was "making it out to be more than it is" really...!!!

So here we are today and now she has brought the OM to meet her family, she has brought my children to meet him and his 3 children(I was not even given the courtesy of being told she was introducing our children to the OM). She said: "they should meet him since he will be a part of their lives for quite some time". She has said that they have a future together and that I should find someone and be happy.

So here I am...

- My wife left me because of finances
- She began an affair while still living under the same roof with me and our children
- She gets child support
- Now appears to be making a dash to remarriage and the ink is barely dry on the papers
- She is bringing my children in direct contact with OM(divorced w/3 children)

I am just trying to work through this. I have stayed true to my vows throughout our separation. I have dated no one and not been involved physically with any woman. I need to heal alone and am so far from ready to get involved with any one.

I really loved her but she betrayed me in one of the worse ways a spouse can do to another.

Why is this so hard to get over?

Does any one care to comment on where SHE is at mentally/emotionally right now??

How can a mother expose her children to breaking apart a family, taking them away from their father and bring the OM around them so quickly??

Thanks for reading

MMF

What is the age of the kids?

Well, she probably feels fine since she is in the thoes of an affair. Unfortunately her affair won't last, and then she will be miserable again.

You need to take excellent care of yourself and make a good life.

Our daughter is 6(D6) and son is 5(S5)

Because you are still grieving the loss of your marriage.
If you don't go through the grief process fully, the effects will impact you for the rest of your life.
So be thankful that you are in this stage, and work to move through all the stages of grief.
You can only recover after you've fully grieved.
You can have the relationship you want, in the future, when you have done the work on yourself and become a better person.
But you need to move through the steps. We all do it at a different pace.

We see people who move from relationship to relationship, and never truly grieve, or truly heal. They can never experience the full joy of a great relationship. Date if that's what you want, but if you want to build a future, then keep working on yourself, enjoy your children, and you will love your life.

I'm right there with ya but technically she doesn't owe you that courtesy. Y'all are divorced and there is nothing you or i can do to change who the ex dates or introduces to the kids

I just hope your OM isn't nearly as bad as mine. It pisses me off when I know my son is with him.

The consensus around here is if you want your ex back the best thing you can do is focus on yoursef... heal, lose some weight, meet new people, have some fun with the guys and hope that OM turns out to be a loser so you can swoop down and ask your ex out on a date and be confident while doing so

one last thing... your thread title... she doesn't get to decide whether you are happy or not. that is all up to you. whether you want to admit it or not, you made some mistakes that led to the divorce too. figure out what they are. cry. get that out of your system. start healing and focusing on the future