Dear M***,

I want to apologize to you for my part in creating an environment that helped make your affair with Her possible. I foolishly put the needs of the children and the house as my primary focus without understanding my responsibility to meet your most important emotional needs. I was not there for you when you needed me the most. We are now both suffering for my mistakes. I am willing to avoid the mistakes I have made in the past and create a new life for the both of us that will meet your needs. However, I cannot do that until you end your relationship with Her once and for all.

Until then, I will avoid seeing you or talking to you. Our friends, J** and A**, have agreed to be an intermediary for us, if you want to communicate about the children or any other matter, it will have to be through J** and A**.

I ask you to respect my decision to separate from you in this way. You must know about the suffering the children and I have endured because of your relationship with Her, your selfish poor financial decisions, and the lies that you have told, and I simply cannot be with you any longer knowing that you are with Her. I still love you, but cannot see you under these conditions.

As soon as you are willing to permanently separate from Her and are willing to follow the measures that were suggested to ensure total separation, I will be willing to discuss our future together.
( Please advise here I think that this area needs to be expounded upon, but I don’t know what, I think I need to say about marriage counseling or something, but ?????)

I want us to be able to rebuild our marriage someday. I want us to be able to meet each other's emotional needs and to avoid doing anything to hurt each other. We need to build a new lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then, there will never again be a reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend again, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend like you had been for so many years. I want to be there to encourage and watch you achieve your dreams and goals, and have you experience the joy of seeing our children and I achieve our goals and dreams too. There are so many beautiful and good things about our marriage and family. I pray that you will listen to the Holy Spirit who lives in you and not turn your back on its leading.

I loved you when we married, and I continue to love you right up to this day. I just cannot be with you or help you as long as you are seeing Her.

With All My Love,

T***

I ask you to respect my decision to separate from you in this way. You must know about the suffering the children and I have endured because of your relationship with Her, your selfish poor financial decisions, and the lies that you have told, and I simply cannot be with you any longer knowing that you are with Her. I still love you, but cannot see you under these conditions.