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A3,
I am so glad your littlest is yours!
Rock on daddy-o!
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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What I've learned is that ANYTHING meant...ANYTHING other than my job or my kid. Basically, she's willing to do NOTHING except apologize and hope I'll agree to take her and her child back in.  This was the closest emoticon I could find to an incredulous head shake. :RollieEyes:
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Unless you want pulled back into the drama, you might want to reconsider the "helping her spiritually" part. She would do well to find a good committed FEMALE Christian counselor to help guide her back into relationship with God. It would be all too easy for her to manipulate you with never-ending episodes of "immediate spiritual crisis", if you know what I mean!
I wish the best for you and your three children as you battle all the normal hardships in life, in addition to the financial stress.
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I completely agree with keepitreal. As a man it is innappropriate to counsel a woman without another adult present. Plus, I don't trust her motives. Sorry about the job loss, though I am certain you will get through this with God's help. He always provides. If I were you I would not consider taking her back unless she is completely broken and even then it would be hard to do.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Ab,
I also agree with keepitreal and FF. She will pull you into the drama again and you don't need nor want that. Direct support is no longer your job. I know it sounds cruel to not try to help but she will attempt to manipulate you endlessly. She hasn't changed a bit and she doesn't want to.
Keep your distance and discontinue the long conversations. You can be civil, but guard yourself. If she truly changes one day you will know and the first step will be accepting the consequences of her actions.
Sorry about your job. Keep your head up there's good things coming.
BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
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I think I just want so badly for her too change...for HER sake and for our children...NOT necessarily for R.
BTW, I have refused to speak with her in any way accept by phone. She has tried the "I'm on my way over" ploy or the "meet me at X" pitch...I will not!
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I can see she is trying to soften you up by saying things related to religion or spirituality. She is trying to appeal to your "teacher, spiritual leader" side in order to manipulate you as she has many times before.
"I think I just want so badly for her too change...for HER sake and for our children...NOT necessarily for R."
I know you want this, anyone would. But please please please dont let her manipulate you because you want this. I fear you might start to see "changes in her" that are false.
Please keep that door closed to your heart. Try and NOT talk to her anymore. She needs NOTHING from you and you need NOTHING from her. I believe even God would not want YOU to be the one to help her spirituality. She is just using that to appeal to your heart so that she can soften it up and begin to manipulate you again and again and again and again.
After all, it has worked in the past hasn't it? !
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Hey there! How's it going? I noticed that your blog is down and wondered about you guys.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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***edit***
Last edited by McLovin; 11/22/10 02:21 PM. Reason: Inappropriate
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Hmm...this reminds me of someone... 
Last edited by McLovin; 11/22/10 02:22 PM. Reason: edited quote
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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***edit***
Last edited by McLovin; 11/22/10 02:24 PM. Reason: TOS - multiple aliases
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D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Hmm...necroing an old board...
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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***edit***
Last edited by McLovin; 11/22/10 02:59 PM. Reason: TOS - multiple aliases
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Last edited by McLovin; 11/22/10 03:01 PM. Reason: edited quote
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Dear MB Members, Thank you very much for the moderator alerts. This situation has been handled. We appreciate all you do to help us keep the forum running smoothly. 
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