me 48 wife40 12 years together child in college. today my wife told me she wishes she could just disappear or go away. she said she likes to be by herself . she questioned whether she was ever meant to be with anyone? this has been stated before but never with this degree of conviction. she has recently moved out for about two weeks and came back saying how much she missed me. over these years we've really spent A LOT of time together. I like that but she feels smothered. It is just the two of us, kid adult away at school. We work together in our Home. We lunch and dinner together and workout sometimes together. But she does have friends and family and goes out when she wants. TODAY she started a job outside the home. She has many times cited boredom in the marriage. We travel and go out often...usually movies and dinner, N.Y.C., comedy clubs and concerts. This is Much more than most of our friends. But she is still bored. She said we are like best friends, brother and sister. I told her thats a good thing (best friends) but she feels the marriage should be more passionate. I would like that also but she is the limiting factor as she claims to have a low libido although to look at her she's the definition of Sexy. This is not just My opinion but that of everyone. I'm not bad looking and in pretty good shape, well groomed etc.. BUT TODAY>>> for the first time, she Actually said that SHE BELIEVES that because she doesn't feel like she wants to rip my clothes off shes not a normal or good wife. This , she says, is why she has been so hot and cold regarding our relationship.She say that i meet most of her emotional needs but she knows that she doesn't meet mine. For this she is sorry and thinks the marriage is not a real marriage!!!! She really seems to feel this way. I told her how much i love her and believe there is a future for us. I don't need to have frequent sex , nor should she feel badly for not wanting it. I THINK she has maybe unreasonable expectations of what she should feel?? I told her i can give her time and space whenever she needs, just say so. I too like space and my own time. I'm hoping this job (her first in many years outside of our home business) will give her some seperation and newfound independance which will help the marriage. She REALLY FEELS there is something very wrong with her, and this is severely affecting us. Again..this is the first time she has told me how she feels on this level. I am writing a lot here but maybe someone at this site will understand what i am jibbering and offer some insight. thankyou, frustrated but hopeful, rich
