1. I AM MARRIED TO MY CHILD'S OTHER PARENT

How do I think my child's views about MARRIAGE has been (will be) effected by your choice to

1. MARRY

.... your child's other parent?

I expect my children will grow to view marriage as something honorable, respectable, and very pleasurable and desirable for both partners.

Now, do this survey again, and ask if we are in love with our child's parent whom we are married to (answer: not currently, but have been in the past and will be again), and ask how I expect my children will be expected by my decision to pursue nauseatingly wonderful head over heels puppy dog love with my child's parent whom I am married to. Because I expect my children's attitudes toward marriage will be impacted spectacularly by that!!!

Yes


My children see marriage as a good thing and understand what is the "ideal" order of things. They are small so of course their views may change. Some of the things my children see and comment on, can be good or bad depending on how you look at it but at least it gives way for discussion. If we ever divorced...I have no idea how they would view it.

I am married to the father of all three of my children. We were married for 2 years prior to the birth of our first child.
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I think my h and I have tried to show our children that being married is working together on things, sometimes there is good and sometimes there is bad, but as long as you work together you can get through anything including infidelity.

Although I will say that the infidelity hit them hard since we had been married so long and seemed to have a great marriage, now they think that no matter what it will happen to them too.

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I am married to my children's other parent. I don't really know what my kids think of marriage. My DD14 doesn't say much, but she will every once in awhile talk about the kind of boy she doesn't want to date (i.e. jerk, one who pushes for sex before marriage, one who is too short - she's pretty tall). I know she smiles when she walks in on H and I in a hug. But she has also seen us through icy times and my A. I worry a little about how it has affected my kids. DS12 says nothing, and he blushes and leaves the room if H kisses me. So who knows.

Yes, my 3 children's father and I are married....


Well, since I wasn't so sure what my children's view are I asked them!!!!...

This was thier responses.....

DD16- "Marriage SUCKS!!!!!....Too many affairs happen. Its ridiculous.....though, one day I will find the man of my dreams, and I will get married...."

note-H's affair had the most effect on her. Plus, she also knows of my parents infidelities, my FIL affair, and my sister's affair. So she is a bit jaded about this subject......(can ya blame her??!!???..... )

DD13- "Mom, why are you asking me this?...I am 13, I shouldn't be thinking about this yet?...... "

So I asked her, "Don't you ever think about getting married? The ceremony, living with your H and having kids? Living 'Happily Ever After'?"

DD13-"uhhhh, NO. You know I am not a girly-girl like DD16. I don't care about that kind of stuff...... "

Me-"Well, do you think Dad and I have been a good example of how a marriage "should" be?"....

DD13-"Sometimes yes, and when you all fight, no....but I don't think about it....Mom, really, why do you ask such questions?.... ....Go ask DD16 instead. I'm texting with friends....."

So, I called DS11 in to ask him.....

DS11-"Mom, I AM 11!!!!....I am sure I will get married one day because that's what grown-ups do, but I do think about it. I am a BOY. Boys don't care about this stuff.....because girls are icky...."

So I asked him, "Do you think dad and I have a good marriage?"

DS11-"I don't know.....I guess so...except when you had a fight last week...."

I suppose I should fess up to H's and I's disagreement last week. The only reason the kids knew about it was because we were supposed to be going to the zoo as a family, but the disagreement caused that to get delayed....

not2fun

I am divorced from my children's mother and I think about how the divorce will affect them and their future relationships every day.

My folks are working on year 47 this year. Both the maternal and paternal grandparents on my side were married until death do us part. My exWW? Her mother and father were both married 3x's, her grandmother 5x's.

I learned that marriage isn't a sprint - it is a marathon. When you are married for 50 plus years, would you throw everything away because of one bad year or one bad mistake? Heck no!

My exWW grew up learning that marriage is disposable. Instead of working with your spouse to solve problems and find happiness, you divorce and look elsewhere.

Unfortunately, I worry my exWW's actions will ensure that the divorce cycle will continue for a fourth generation with at least one of our kids.

Before POSOM came into the picture, exWW and I had a good, happy marriage. Her absolute, abrupt decision to replace me with POSOM I'm sure has left an imprint on the kids on how to be selfish and self serving in relationships. Unfortunately, I worry that I'll have to comfort a future SIL or DIL as one of our children copies the behavior they learned from their mother.