Fool me twice shame on me...that was my grandfather's favorite quote also...

Trying to answer some of the questions above and get some feedback:

1. WH still hasn't sent the NC letter - talked last night and explained that it has to come from him not me. No comment from WH on that...

2. Workplace: for him to leave his job that of course would be really tough - we live on a small island - we have the highest rate of unemployment in the state - there really isn't anything out there right now. That said the workplace connection is that they work for the same company - but different crews, different shifts but same location and then different buildings - he is a supervisor and she is crew member.

There is a job opening in July that my husband is planning on applying for - he has a really good chance of getting it due to his seniority and experience - that job would put him in a different town and on a shift the same as mine.

I of course want HER to leave - she has less time with the company and less to loose -

3. OW's H? I don't have his ph# (unlisted) but I have their mailing address - would sending a letter be cruel?

4. Family: We have 2 boys - 10 and 14. I want to call his mom to tell her - of course worried about her reaction but her support would be helpful but she will probably chew him out...

If I tell my brothers - unfortunately that might lead to a physical confrontation...

5. Why didn't I keep up with the MB plan? I don't know - I went with Plan A - went to therapy - cried and cried and then like my mom is saying I'm just too nice - I want things to be nice - everyone happy and just sweep everything under the rug and not deal with it.

6. WH not leaving...WH said he has too much to loose by leaving...

7. Am I ready to do the work to save our M this time FOR REAL? Yes, at the end of the day I love my husband - he has many redeeming qualities - I think we are better together then apart - we've always made a good team.

That said I realize that I wasn't meeting his ENs - we fell back into the routine of our lives and we both fell away from working on us. I had so much anger from the 1st A - that I couldn't wouldn't didn't let go that triggered him to find someone that he could confide in and get those ENs filled. The OW is someone that he has known for years - they are golfing buddies - she is that girl from high school that is every guys friend - I think she has always had a thing for my H - and when the opportunity came up she weasled her way in.

We talked on Friday - he shared that I am so angry and stressed out all the time and I take it out on him which is true - that is part of the issues in our M that we weren't dealing with. Between work and all the volunteering I do projects for school and community I'm stretched so thin - I realize I'm about to snap.

While it doesn't excuse him going outside of our M again for fullfillment I can see that I have some things to work on too.

Me - BS (43)
Him - WH (45)
Kids - DS (10) and (14)
Together - 24 yrs
Married - 18 yrs
1st(EA) - DD = 2/28/2009
2nd(EA) - DD = 5/13/2010