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paraphrased quotes: "What is Plan C? It is a compromise. I never recommend Plan C. Plan A is you do the best to win your spouse back. Plan B is you have absolutely nothing to do with the spouse. Those 2 are the best strategies in an affair. They give you the best shot at saving the marriage. Plan C, which I don't ever recommend is a compromise is an inbetween state where you are in contact but the contact is not solving the problem. Plan C makes it more likely you will end up divorced. Some contact but not quality contact. This is a BAD PLAN. It is better to have no contact." radio clip here
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"Men are just as susceptible to an emotional affair as women."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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LOL ML, I just posted about Plan C on your Radio thread!
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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paraphrased quotes:
"What is Plan C?
It is a compromise. I never recommend Plan C. Plan A is you do the best to win your spouse back.
Plan B is you have absolutely nothing to do with the spouse.
Those 2 are the best strategies in an affair. They give you the best shot at saving the marriage.
Plan C, which I don't ever recommend is a compromise is an inbetween state where you are in contact but the contact is not solving the problem.
Plan C makes it more likely you will end up divorced. Some contact but not quality contact. This is a BAD PLAN. It is better to have no contact." He said something similar yesterday to a caller in the second half of the show.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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"Men are just as susceptible to an emotional affair as women." Yep; it's a little known secret, but men actually like being in love.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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"dogs are better listeners than husbands!" 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hey Markos, where in Texas are you? I am down south of Houston but used to live in east Texas.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Dr Harley: "your pet doesn't even understand what you are talking about !! So learn to be a better listener than your pet!"
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I hate to bust the good doctor's bubble, but I used to have a Cocker Spaniel that hung onto my every word. He could even spell "bath"! 
Last edited by Lady_Clueless; 05/04/10 03:04 PM.
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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I hate to bust the good doctor's bubble, but I used to have a Cocker Spaniel that hung onto my every word. He could even spell "bath"! Are you sure you "heard" him right Lady C? Couldn't he have been spelling math? Wow, that's cool... a dog that spells.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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I hate to bust the good doctor's bubble, but I used to have a Cocker Spaniel that hung onto my every word. He could even spell "bath"! The good doctor is right, LC!! Your cocker spaniel is a better listener than your H!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I LOVE that he makes the point that if it ain't Plan A or Plan B, it ain't gonna work. I've not seen him state this so clearly in any of his books.
Parts of Plans A & B are so "hard" that it's a real temptation to cherry pick which parts they'll do. Yet Dr. Harley says there is a "narrow path" to recovery.
Can you make mistakes working the plan? You betcha. I sure did. Can you ignore the "hard" parts and succeed? Not likely.
Me BS 61
Him FWS 63
Married 40 years
D-Day 6/30/06
Still can't believe it.
6/08 Recovering nicely. Anything is possible!
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Like doing the carrot of Plan A, but not the stick. All that shows the wayward is that you don't mind the affair and are even nicer since you know about it!
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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"dogs are better listeners than husbands!" What about deer? 
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"Plan C" could also be called "Plan Confusion".
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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Plan C radio clip here: here
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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**duplicate post deleted at poster's request**
Married: 22 years Me: BW 41 Him: WH 43 Sons: 19, 17, 12 Daughter: 16 DD 8/09 EA started 8/08 PA started 7/09 Brief recovery of a few months in there. Separated 10/10 Legal Separation 8/11 Plan B 5/17/12 Plan D 5/31/12 My Story
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rainysweet,
Cut and paste your entire last post on this thread and send it via email to
mbradio@marriagebuilders.com
and you might get clear, concise input on what you ought to do at this juncture.
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