Wow! I was finally able to again login here. Haven't been here in ages.

Just wanted to say 'hi' to all my old MB friends, and also wanted to give encouragement to all here. Your marriage can be saved! If mine could be resurrected, anyone's can!

I came here about three years ago AFTER I was divorced. I was the former WS, and my husband had filed for divorce. The affair had lasted about four years, and for two of those years I was living with my husband. All told, my DH and I lived apart for 3 1/2 years, of which 1.5 years were spent legally divorced.

When I ended the dreadful A I found MB. It was incredible how my story was like so many others' here. What a mess I'd made of my life, and of my family's life.

After posting here for FIFTEEN months and getting much encouragment and advice from JL, Pepperband, Redhat, Litchfield, and so many others my DH finally agreed to a 'date'. The man hadn't spoken with me in years on any sort of level beyond 'hello'. It was so sad, but I took full responsibility.

That was almost two years ago this upcoming December. Our first dates were very strained and not romantic at all. Let's just say it wasn't like in the movies.

Very shortly after our first 'dates' we remarried. It all happened within about three weeks. That was just about two years ago, and soon we'll be celebrating the 24th anniversary of our first marriage.

Never, ever, give up hope UNLESS your ex has remarried. Believe me, my DH was very withdrawn and detached from me for YEARS. We don't talk much at all about our time apart. It's behind us, and we certainly don't dwell on it. It all seems like a bad nightmare, but we did learn from it.

JL always told me "patience and time". He was right.

All is going very well. Our three children are elated we're together again.

Hang in there, even if it seems hopeless!

Hopeful_person

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hey kiddo

nice to hear from you !!!

thanks for sharing.

i'm having a very hard time with that "patience and time" message JL is always giving me.

it is nice to read about successes.

HP,

I was a lurker on your thread, and recall at times how painful it was to read!

How kind of you to come back and give an update. There is always a need for HOPE on MB.

Hey Hopeful!!

Nice to see ya! Glad everything is still going well!
You were always an inspiration to me....never give up, anything's possible!

Well, here I am...another success story!
H's 2 year affair & separation, our D final in Nov. 04! He moved back to our state 3 days later! We also were barely speaking beyond "hello"....so much pain, anger...

Several months later, he finally bottomed out(it sure was a long time comin!), and by April he had moved back home, although we weren't sure if it was permanent, he was just so darn down and out, with no where to go, I made a decision to reach out....and I'm so glad I did!

True Recovery began around June!!! I had to let it go and just let it happen!

It is like a bad dream...and I also try to keep it in the past....sometimes "stuff" pops up, remembering....but XH has been reassuring and caring....I'm confident we're in this for the long haul.

We haven't discussed re-marrying...and I'm not even sure it's that important to me....maybe...but for now....I'm happy with where we are....our kids are better off too!

It got to a point that I thought I needed to give up on us...but yet....in my heart I always felt it was possible! I'm glad I tucked away a piece of my heart and my caring and compassion for WH....

Thanks for sharing....my best to you and yours!!

Splenda (aka Shugah)

I am glad you stick around ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

-rh-

I am getting the "time an patience" message myself right now. And it is not something I am particularly good at, so I am praying every day for God to give me the patience I need. I'm still here, and I am not being pushy, so I guess it's working.

By the way, Pepper suggested I look to you for some help with my current sitch. I am a FWW, and my H has filed for D. Right now, instead of being 100% positive that it is the right thing, he is pretty much 50/50 (read my thread ... cinnymd ... to find out just what he said about that). His biggest concern is how coming back the M would affect his R with his family. Though they are Godly people, they are very unforgiving and completely support him getting a D, and even push for it. Did you have any of this? How did you deal with it? How did your H deal with it?

LOL Cinny ... I always caution those who are praying for patience .... because ... sometimes the answer to your prayer is more ~opportunity~ to practice patience.

as in "God, make me more patient"

and God listens and provides you with something that requires ~more~ patience on your part ... LOL

Right now, be satisfied with teeny tiny steps of forward motion. Even the email from your MIL is PROGRESS !!!!

Email her back and thank her for her honesty ... see? You don't have to address specifically what she said to you right now, but if you thank her for her honesty <--- it is keeping the door open for further conversations between you.

It will only get more difficult to talk to her the longer you wait.

God Bless you Cinny

Pepper,

She wrote me the e-mail like a month and a half ago. I didn't save it because it was too painful to look at. What I said she wrote was what I remember in my head, which may not have even been the exact words she used. I'll post more on my thread about this.

hopeful,

It is so good to see you here again. I am delighted that your marriage has continued to improve. I think your message is a very powerful one and I am so glad you are sharing it.

God Bless,

JL

I't's nice to have continued good news. God bless you in the future that things may improve even more.

Thanks.

SS

* claps ! * another story for the 'fridge door ! Congrats ! and thanks for reporting this !

*bump*

thanks for bumping this pep
it gives me some hope.

Hey, hopeful_person, I tell your story to my friends!

I read this and it really inspired me so I thought I would bump it up in case anyone else needed some inspiration

Glad you read and bumped it Esprit.

Thanks,
Ace

Wow, this gives me hope because like all of us, we think our situation is the worst and there is no hope.

I just have to ask G-d for the strength and guidance to keep moving forward and let him in my life to do the work that I still need to do.

Nevermind, I just noticed Ace's date. I'll link it to her post if she has not.

JL

Opps, need my bifocals changed. Hi Ace.

I think it is not a problem to list her story on success stories. It is staying on MB, it is not being used for profit, or off the site. So my take is use the story.

JL