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New to this site
#2312629 01/27/10 10:24 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
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Crazies Offline OP
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Crazies
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I just wanted to introduce myself. I am a recently married woman. I married my partner of 3 years this past spring. We have settled into our married life together well. Something that has come up recently is the discussion of adopting a child or one of us undergoing artificial insemination.

We both want kids...but this seems soon. Although we've been a pair for 3 years, our marriage is new. I've been reading here and learning about the resources. I'd prefer to continue to build a strong marriage before bringing a child into our lives.

How have you resolved differences regarding when to start a family with your spouses?

Thank you in advance.
Re: New to this site
Crazies #2312663 01/27/10 10:45 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
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FlyingHigh Offline
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Welcome to this site. smile I assume by reading this thread that you're in a same sex marriage. Very brave to post on a site like this.

Starting a family is a hard decision, but seeing that you've been together with your partner for 3 years now I'm sure that the foundation of your relationship is solid so if you both want children I'd say go for it. I'd probably feel safer adopting a child, the whole artificial insemination business seems just scary to me, though that's not based on rational beliefs it just seems scary getting some strange guy's sperm in you. But that's just my opinion, talk to your partner about all these things is my suggestion.

Does she (again I am assuming this) think it's too soon too, does she share your concerns? What does she prefer, adoption or artificial insemination?
Re: New to this site
Crazies #2312664 01/27/10 10:46 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
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Retread Offline
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Retread
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As my mother used to tell us, "When in doubt, don't."

By all means build the bonds, and make children be part of your marriage, rather than the role of mother replacing or subordinating the role of wife.

This is a great opportunity to learn and apply the Policy of Joint Agreement. When the two of you are in enthusiastic agreement about wanting a family, then work out the how using the POJA. Read about the positive things you can do in the book, "Fall In Love, Stay In Love", by Dr. Harley, who created this web site.

Me: 61
Dear Wife: 58
Married: 35 years
Re: New to this site
Retread #2312683 01/27/10 11:05 AM
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Crazies Offline OP
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Crazies
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Thank you both for your thoughtful replies.
Retread...I will look into the "Policy of Joint Agreement." I've been reading some of Dr. Harley's insights in "Fall in Love, Stay in Love."

FlyingHigh...yes, she would like to have children soon as we are both in our 40's. She prefers insemination as there have been a lot of changes in laws in various states regarding adoption by same sex couples. I'm not sure what your reservations are regarding artificial insemination. From what I've read, it is quite safe.
Re: New to this site
Crazies #2312695 01/27/10 11:19 AM
Joined: Sep 2008
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SugarCane Offline
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You both registered today and are married gay women supporting each other. You obviously know each other. Why have this private conversation in public, here?

BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Re: New to this site
SugarCane #2312698 01/27/10 11:21 AM
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Revera Offline
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This thread is locked due to multiple aliases.

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